• Quote of the Day
    "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered."
    Nelson Mandela, posted by Daniel
Joined
Dec 14, 2005
Messages
4
Points
1
My boyfriend told me his older brother's been abusive for a long time. Without going into much detail, he basically said his brother beats him sometimes and is just generally physically and emotionally abusive. Some of the stories I hear, like how his brother completely trashed his room looking for money and in general just being a big {insert descriptive swear word of choice} makes me frustrated and afraid for him. His brother's going off to join the navy, so I guess, he wont have to put up with it much longer. I asked him why his parents dont do anything about it, and he said he supposes his parents are afraid of his brother too. He cares for his brother very deeply and loves him- he puts up with it without trying to stop it or defend himself. He just accepts it. It's sort of hard to describe his attitude towards his brother. I haven't had much interaction with his brother, but just from the way he treats my boyfriend, I feel very angry towards him. I'm concerned about the emotional impact of all of this on my boyfriend and I don't really know how to talk to him about it, since he doesn't really invite discussion about it. Like I said, his brother's going away soon to join the navy, so I guess he wont have to deal with him as much, but I just worry about how this is all affecting him emotionally and how I should help him and talk to him about all of it. I've only ever had experience with emotional abuse (luckily I don't live with that person anymore, even though it continues to a slightly smaller extent when I do spend time with them) and a tiny bit of physical/sexual when I was really young. But my boyfriend's case seems alot different and I don't know what kind of support I should be giving him. any advice would be of help. thanks.
 
Joined
Jun 22, 2005
Messages
951
Points
16
...

hello,
well what i think is very essential that you do is remind him that you are there for him and that you will be there for him no matter what if he ever needs to talk to someone . and if he is ever ready to confront his brother about it that you will be there for him as a support if you can .. you may not be able to understand him that much but as long as he knows that you are there for him
yours trully
ashley-kate
 

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