More threads by bowoo


my mother is a schizophrenic amoung other mental diagnoses and the hard part is that she refuses to even try any meds or treatment . i mean i can't understand why she won't take the anti-psychotic meds. she doesn't have a problem with taking meds. she has been and still is a drug abuser.( 35 years)!!This morning i woke up to her just standing at my back door watching and waiting for me to wake up only so she could beg me for money. this is after she had settled a law suit and was awarded $400,000.00 less than 3 years ago. she's now penniless and practically homeless. our family tried to help her invest and manage her money so that she would have some security and at least a permanent home to live. but she wouldn't hear of it.through her eyes of hallucination and delusions we were " in a conspiracy to steal her money". she believes everyone stole it, buried it, you name it we've heard it! I am sorry if this sounds angry i am not.just frustrated that she is so sick and i just don't know how to help. they say that 1 out of 10 schizophrenics lose their lives to suicide and can't bear the thought of my mom being one of them.and she is sooo bad right now that i think if she continues down this road ...i don't want to know what will happen. she gets in cars "hitchhiking" and stays with strangers. i can't have her stay with me i have 2 small children and she scares them with her talk of being poisioned, and people hanging off the roof trying to get her...etc... can anyone out there relate to this situation? i have never been in a chat before and i am not too sure how this works. but i would GREATLY appreciate all any comments you might have. to anyone reading this who is suffering from mental illness: keep going your life is sooo very important and just know we really do care and love you!

Daniel E.
my mom is!

she's now penniless and practically homeless

It sounds like she would have no problems qualifying for Social Security Income, Medicaid, and Food Stamps since she can't work due to a mental disability.

There are also group homes for people with schizophrenia who need such assistance. My guess is that they are funded by Medicaid, etc.

Also, you may want to call a local chapter of the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill for local resources.


my mom is!

I always feel a desire to help mentally-ill people I meet, but some people simply do not listen to reason and are not willing to change (e.g. your mom's refusal to take meds). This probably isn't the "therpeutically correct" thing to say, but my personal opinion is that after a certain point, you just have to get tough with them. If she's not willing to work on the situation, then maybe you need to stop associating with her so much... like maybe barely talk to her at all anymore. I feel the same way about my mom... she is just so far gone that I almost feel like she needs to be "taken down a peg," not "helped."

She may have given birth to you, but if she is being this detrimental to your life, then she is not a true mother to you, and you should not feel obligated to help her or even talk to her if she is refusing your assistance.
my mom is!

Hey bowoo.

I can relate to everything you wrote. I don't even know exactly what my mom has because she refuses to go to any doctor and is absolutely certain that she does not have mental illness. She now lives an extremely isolated life in the States and does not have any contact with ANY of her family except for me - and we only communicate via e-mail (her family "disowned" her and her father wrote her out of his will 1 month before he died).

She is certain that if she went to a doctor, they would most likely be part of the group that is after her (sometimes it's the mafia or the masons or devil worshipers or even vampires). She believes the Doctor will only prescribe her medication that would poison her or control her mind. And to be honest...jumping into her shoes for a moment, I can see why she wouldn't see a doctor. I wouldn't want to be poisoned either!

But, we are not in their shoes and they're not in ours. We care about them and want to help them but it seems to be such a fine line between helping them and hurting our selves or our children.

So, what should we do? I don't know. I think it was courageous of you to write your post. I felt comfort when I read it because it told me that I'm not alone. Mental illness is extremely difficult to deal with...there's no 2 ways about it. I often have thoughts like, "there's no help!", "If I don't help her, nobody will." "And if something drastic does happen, it will be my fault because I didn't help her.", "But then again, what about me and C (my son)?" etc etc etc. At times, every choice seems to be too difficult. But as Daniel and Link mentioned there ARE resources and ways to make things work - maybe they just don't look the way we thought they would - but there are resources.

I struggle with mental illness within myself (no psychosis though), my sister struggled with mental illness (at least I think-she committed suicide at age 20) and my mom has mental illness including periods of psychosis. One of my biggest challenges is being able to remove myself from "spinning" in the situation. Sometimes I really need to remind myself that my mom is very sick. And no matter what I do - she will still always struggle with this illness. I know she loves me to the best of her ability, but she is not always herself which can sometimes be frustrating, confusing, scary and down right dangerous. And the truth is, I'm not a doctor, so although I think I can help or save her...I actually can't. No matter what I do. And that really bugs me. But it is true and therefore I really have to force myself to focus on what is best for my son and I (which usually leads to feelings of selfishness and guilt). Thinking of us doesn't necessarily mean high-tailing it out of her life, but it might mean redefining our relationship with her and calling on some of the professionals to help out.

I know I've rambled on a bit (I usually do), but I really identified with what you wrote. I hope my post doesn't come across with a tone of arrogance - I'm just relating and that helped me to process more of my own experiences at the same time :)

Keep posting!
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