• Quote of the Day
    "Don't let what you can't do interfere with what you can do."
    John Wooden, posted by David Baxter

chell

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
Messages
75
Points
6
I had the same Therapist for 3 yrs. and all was well, we got along great and l was able to open up to her about things from my past that l myself did not really even know until they were triggered from flashbacks and she gave me exercises to do when l had panic attacks, so little by little l gave her my trust and l feel l was doing better.

So along the way, last year she said she saw a really good improvement in me and saw me only when there were things in my life that came along that l could not handle on my own such as being raped by a boyfriend, or being harassed by people l thought had been friends before the rape, making app'ts for me when she knew the Dr's and l did not,etc, so now this year, she started calling me from Walmart or other places saying she would do Therapy over the phone while she was getting an oil change or getting her child's teeth done at the dentist so she could get most of her things done in the day. l was a bit dissapointed ,but that started to become the norm, so l did not say much.

l started to become the victim of stalking and it was the gf of my ex and she would come everynight and and do something such as lighting firecrackers near my bedroom window or get some friends together and scream rape or throw garbage on my balconey, and since l am involved in charging the Ex with rape, it is active within the police and so they told me to call if something was wrong and so l did.

Well one officer that l knew came over and said that he did not see anyone out in the back of where l live and l said everytime that l called, she left just a min. or two before they got there, and he started asking me if she came when l called her, or did she come out from under the bed , or the closet and l looked at him with a sarcastic grin and then realized it was not a joke and said, "You think l am crazy don't you?" and he said, "in the statement you gave about the rape, you said you had problems sleeping and maybe you are just overtired and are imagining things.' and l pointed to the footprints in the snow and said, "Am l imagining those?" He asked for proof and l said next door and l don't get along with the neighbors but they were getting some of the same problems and they denied it to the police so l looked nuts and he said they told him there had never been a problem in the back and l said , l would not be wasting their time if there was no problem.

About half an hour after they left my Therapist called and she was not rude, but very cold and asked me what l was doing to which l replied, "What is this about?" and she relayed that the Police had called her and talked to her about forcing me into the Hospital and she asked if l was trying to ruin her Holiday which was coming up in a few hours time.
l told her what happened and she said that what she had told the Police was that l was under alot of stress and that she had the decision to make whether l was going into the hospital or not, to which l then said, "Who gave you permission to talk to the Police?" and she said, "Oh, l just assumed you gave permission when you were talking to him." and l said no l had not and l had not talked to him about my dr. he brought up my statement about the rape and what l had said.
She immediately got very defensive and said, "Well, who is to say you have not been lying to me all this time?" and l said to her, "ln three yrs. if l was lying, don't you think l would have slipped up by now or you would have known me well enough to see through me?" l said what you have just said to me now, is not only unprofessional, but cruel, but it shows me a side to you that l don't like , l don't trust and l don't want to see you as my Therapist anymore.

She got off the phone and l called back a few days later to talk to her Supervisor, l talked to the Secretary who knew me and the case and said she would pass on the message and when he called back,he was asking me some questions which were different then what she had on her notes such as never talking to the police or threatening to have me put in the Hospital and then l told him if you want the story just ask the secretary and he said she does not know anything and l told him, l was talking to her, her name is Jacky and she told me the Therapist was so mad, she was telling her what a bitch l was and the story of how l got her in trouble and he said none of the staff is to be talking about patients ever and he said that cannot be true and he asked for her name again and l told him, he said could l hang on, l did, and a few min. later, he came on the phone, apologized for everything that had taken place and assured me that this would be dealt with and asked if l would like to see another worker and l said , no because if l had to deal with this again l don't this l could handle it emotionally and he promised me that he would personally deal with the two persons involved and get back to me on this because it was a breach of privacy which was not allowed in the workplace.

At least l can say, l trust the Supervisor there because he felt terrible and wanted to reassure me in correcting the mistakes they made, but that is the end of my Therapy now.

Chell
 
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Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
5,390
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i am sorry to hear this has happened to you. such a breach of trust. i hope things will work out with the supervisor and good for you that you have reported it to him.

one thing i am wondering about is how did it come about that your therapist turned out to be the girlfriend of your ex? when did you find this out?
 

chell

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
Messages
75
Points
6
No, the Therapist is not the gf of the Ex. l am sorry l guess in typing, l misworded myself, the Police were talking to the Therapist about the gf of the Ex .
 
Joined
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i understand now, thanks for the clarification.

i find it very odd that your therapist started doing sessions over the phone like that.

how are you doing today? do you feel you could still benefit from therapy if you spoke to someone trustworthy?
 

chell

Member
Joined
Feb 4, 2007
Messages
75
Points
6
My Therapist was doing her personal business on work time, so she knew that l was not going to say anything and that way she began to do it more and more.

Pretty well for my whole life, there was something about my Mother that l did not know, but she made my skin crawl being near her and l tried very hard to live up to her approval and acceptance,love etc and it never happened, and my childhood basically is blacked out.

l escaped a terribly abusive marriage in the USA and went to live with my Mom and when l was with her for the short length of time that l was, l could not bear to be near her and l just hated her, so one day l knew l was going to either punch her in the mouth for verbally putting me down every chance she got or just give up and kill myself, so l went to the Dr. and she put me on Effexor and Ativan thinking it was the Abusive husband, awhile later l asked to see a Phychiatrist because my Mom kept saying l was insane and was asking my medication and phoning people telling them l was going to kill her or harm her, so l had a good friend and moved out, which actually made her even more mad becuase she could not pick on me more, so that is when the Psychiatrist was telling me l was abused as a child and was still being abused and l was shocked.

That is when l started getting brief flashbacks that would wake me up and then l would start remembering how she had been like when l was young, so that is why l needed a therapist to help me through the hard times of realizing how abusive my mom and sister had been towards me and how l developed a mixed personality disorder in order to survive until l could leave home after l graduated school.

So to this day, l have no more contact with my Mom or sister and l do feel much more at ease and better but at times l still have depressive days, but the Therapist was not always there, such as if l had a bad day and called her , she would not return the call for a few days saying l had to work through it on my own and l used to be a Nurse, but it is sometimes hard to do it on your own, but l am not sure l can trust anymore Therapists after what just happened here. l can't even talk to the Police. l have call tracing after getting harrassing phone calls and now after this incident with the officer, my credibility in my eyes to the Police is now shot as they think l am a mental case that "needs help" and that angers me terribly that the officer did that to me and l am considering dropping the charges, because if the Police officer did that to me, imagine what his Attorney will do to me. That stigma is terrible once it is spread because it is almost like l am constantly creating problems for the Police.

l am not sure yet where to place my anger and l see my Psychiatrist in the middle of April so l will talk to her then. But for me , this is just a big mess that started with a Therapist's big mouth which l cannot help but wonder how often it goes on between co workers.
 
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David Baxter

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The answer is that it doesn't go on normally and shouldn't - as the supervisor said, this was indeed a breach of ethics and of your confidentiality.

Perhaps when you next see your psychiatrist or family doctor you could ask for a recommendation to a different therapist...
 

MollyK

Member
Joined
May 18, 2005
Messages
75
Points
6
Yes I'd agree with David .. get away from her right away! Although, I wouldnt blame you for not wanting to trust another therapist ever again but there are ones that are professional out there!

If I was in your shoes too I would log a formal complaint. Does she adhere to a governing body? There must be a complaints process for this kind of thing. I know in the UK that therapists cannot practice unless registered to a professional body like the British Assoc of Psychotherapists, they then have a complaints procedure. Im not sure what country you are in, but there must be something like this where you are... if only to protect others that may innocently go to this therapist for "therapy from Wallmart" .. grounds for complaint on its own!

Its apalling that you go to someone like this when you are vulnerable and needy and end up coming away with more damage. Be strong honey and look after yourself xx
 
Joined
Jun 11, 2006
Messages
5,390
Points
36
i agree. if you have the energy for this i would consider filing a complaint as well. this is not only a breach of ethics but also of the confidentiality that is supposed to be 100% guaranteed. this is doctor-patient confidentiality that she has violated.
 

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