cwilliams1591
Member
Anybody still follow this thread? This was one of the first threads I found information from when I experienced a terrible "trip" from synthetic spice. It's sad to see that people are still experimenting with this s***, but having gone through it myself and overcoming it to be where i am today, I want to help anybody that is having the same issue. It took me damn near 4 years to overcome the bad trip and the depression that joined it that I got from the synthetic weed. To give a little back story to whoever may be out there reading...
When I was 19, I was a freshman in college and I quit smoking weed so I could get a job, and at that time, I was introduced to "fake weed" aka spice, k2, salvia, etc. I smoked it a few times and thought it was great because I could still get a similar high, but I wouldn't have to worry about a drug test. I was hanging out with some friends in my door room and one of them pulled some out and loaded a bowl. I took a couple hits and was feeling the effects of it. The bowl was passed around a few more times and the last hit that I took sent me to another world. It is not something I can describe, it's not something I can really recall 100%, but it's not something I ever want to go through again. I woke up the next morning not knowing what happened. I came to the conclusion that I was tripping so hard I passed out and my friends left. I woke up dazed and confused almost like I had drank a 5th of whiskey the night before without the hangover. I had already had issues with anxiety and this onset of confusing sent me into a light and steady panic attack. It was there all day long every day. It wasn't a panic attack, but it was like I was preparing to give the biggest speech in front of the most important people in the entire world. And that feeling would last 24/7. Thankfully, it was towards the end of the semester so I finished my finals and went back home for the summer. My mom gave me some medicine to chill me out and it helped tremendously and thought it was all over.
I figured it was just in my head since the morning I woke up from the bad trip I had done research about the stuff and did not find anything good to say the least. It wasn't until a week later when I was out with my girlfriend and some friends eating dinner and I started feeling really really weird again. It felt like I wasn't in my body and I was just watching everybody from afar. Anxiety quickly overcame my entire being. I thought this feeling was over and I thought I could get back on with my life. Well Chris you were wrong. At that point, I knew I was in trouble and I knew I had some serious obstacles to overcome. I went home that night (after playing it cool in front of everybody at dinner) and tried to relax. I took some more muscle relaxers my mom had to see if that would at least put me to sleep. I had sudden bouts of anxiety attacks that would be so bad it felt like I was being stabbed through the stomach. There were points that I was curled up next to my mom in agony praying it would go away. I decided it was time to seek professional help. I started seeing a therapist and told her everything (or tried to) that was going on. I went a couple times hoping my mind would trick itself into thinking that it was working. To be honest, whoever gave this lady a license to help people made a mistake. You could tell she didn't care what you were saying and that she was just trying to make a paycheck. I won't mention names because I don't want to slander anyone, but if you ever feel this then just do yourself a favor and find someone else. There are actually people who care out there (like me).
I decided to go see an MD and see what he had to say. You could tell he had no idea what I was talking about. To catch y'all up, at this point I'm still having anxiety every day, and I have also started questioning existence. Not only was I questioning why I was here, I couldn't wrap my head around how big the universe and how it was just created. Yes, those of you reading this that are spiritual or religious I know that's why it's called faith. But if you knew who I was my mind didn't think that way. Especially with everything else that was going on in my life. I thought of everything very logically and analyzed everything. I became OCD about why we, as humans, were even here. A little side note, while I was dealing with all of my personal issues, my mother was battling pill addiction. Anyways, back at the doctor, he puts me on anti depressants. Zoloft to be exact 50 mg a day. 5 years ago and I still remember my exact dose. Well to say the least I never saw the difference. 2 weeks nothing. 4 weeks nothing. 6 weeks nothing. After 6 weeks, he bumps my dose to 100 mg because I'm just getting worse. At this point, I'm going back to college to try to go back to class and pretend like my life is fine. Well, I went from being an A student to being a D student. I moved back home and attended a college close by the next semester. I had been on Zoloft for 12 months now and tried a couple others (wellbutrin, lexapro) and I felt like a zombie.
I didn't have emotions, all I knew was something was wrong with me. I wasn't happy, I didn't care about anything, I lost all feeling and touch with the world. I decided to take myself off. I went to my dads for a few weeks and it was the perfect time to ween myself off a little bit at a time because I was out in the country doing some work outside and just hanging out stress free. Once I got back, I was feeling good I was happy I wasn't taking the meds anymore and I was feeling optimistic. I still wasn't feeling completely normal but I was able to function 100% better than before and I wasn't having anxiety all the time. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years even told me I seemed a lot better. She tried to be as supportive as she could, but she could only understand so much. We broke up about a month later.
I started getting back into smoking real weed and it was OK. It didn't make me trip out or have anxiety or anything like that. 3 weeks later I ended up getting arrested because my dumbass friend through his weed in front of a cop and my life hit another curveball. My mom bailed me out, I dealt with it, and put it past me. A month after that my mom was admitted into the hospital after my stepdad found her unconscious not breathing with no pulse. Luckily him being a paramedic and a firefighter he had a defibrillator and was able to get a pulse. By that time the ambulance arrived and brought her to the hospital. 72 hours I held her hand while she passed away. Within two months after taking myself off anti depressant meds, I was arrested, broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years, and my mom passed away. I went back to college 10 days later and started another semester. My family kept telling me I could take some time off, but I had planned on moving back before and I knew that's what my mom would have wanted.
Fast forward 5 years later from the beginning of this story. I'm 24 years old, and I will be turning 25 in November. I graduated college with a degree in finance and now work for a multi billion dollar company making a pretty good living as an analyst. The reason I tell this story is because I want to start something that helps those with mental illnesses. Anything from a simple break up blues to depression. I my original question was if anybody followed this thread still. If there is anybody out there that is still struggling with this or anything else or someone that may be close to a situation I'm always here to listen and tell you what I have done that helped me.
When I was 19, I was a freshman in college and I quit smoking weed so I could get a job, and at that time, I was introduced to "fake weed" aka spice, k2, salvia, etc. I smoked it a few times and thought it was great because I could still get a similar high, but I wouldn't have to worry about a drug test. I was hanging out with some friends in my door room and one of them pulled some out and loaded a bowl. I took a couple hits and was feeling the effects of it. The bowl was passed around a few more times and the last hit that I took sent me to another world. It is not something I can describe, it's not something I can really recall 100%, but it's not something I ever want to go through again. I woke up the next morning not knowing what happened. I came to the conclusion that I was tripping so hard I passed out and my friends left. I woke up dazed and confused almost like I had drank a 5th of whiskey the night before without the hangover. I had already had issues with anxiety and this onset of confusing sent me into a light and steady panic attack. It was there all day long every day. It wasn't a panic attack, but it was like I was preparing to give the biggest speech in front of the most important people in the entire world. And that feeling would last 24/7. Thankfully, it was towards the end of the semester so I finished my finals and went back home for the summer. My mom gave me some medicine to chill me out and it helped tremendously and thought it was all over.
I figured it was just in my head since the morning I woke up from the bad trip I had done research about the stuff and did not find anything good to say the least. It wasn't until a week later when I was out with my girlfriend and some friends eating dinner and I started feeling really really weird again. It felt like I wasn't in my body and I was just watching everybody from afar. Anxiety quickly overcame my entire being. I thought this feeling was over and I thought I could get back on with my life. Well Chris you were wrong. At that point, I knew I was in trouble and I knew I had some serious obstacles to overcome. I went home that night (after playing it cool in front of everybody at dinner) and tried to relax. I took some more muscle relaxers my mom had to see if that would at least put me to sleep. I had sudden bouts of anxiety attacks that would be so bad it felt like I was being stabbed through the stomach. There were points that I was curled up next to my mom in agony praying it would go away. I decided it was time to seek professional help. I started seeing a therapist and told her everything (or tried to) that was going on. I went a couple times hoping my mind would trick itself into thinking that it was working. To be honest, whoever gave this lady a license to help people made a mistake. You could tell she didn't care what you were saying and that she was just trying to make a paycheck. I won't mention names because I don't want to slander anyone, but if you ever feel this then just do yourself a favor and find someone else. There are actually people who care out there (like me).
I decided to go see an MD and see what he had to say. You could tell he had no idea what I was talking about. To catch y'all up, at this point I'm still having anxiety every day, and I have also started questioning existence. Not only was I questioning why I was here, I couldn't wrap my head around how big the universe and how it was just created. Yes, those of you reading this that are spiritual or religious I know that's why it's called faith. But if you knew who I was my mind didn't think that way. Especially with everything else that was going on in my life. I thought of everything very logically and analyzed everything. I became OCD about why we, as humans, were even here. A little side note, while I was dealing with all of my personal issues, my mother was battling pill addiction. Anyways, back at the doctor, he puts me on anti depressants. Zoloft to be exact 50 mg a day. 5 years ago and I still remember my exact dose. Well to say the least I never saw the difference. 2 weeks nothing. 4 weeks nothing. 6 weeks nothing. After 6 weeks, he bumps my dose to 100 mg because I'm just getting worse. At this point, I'm going back to college to try to go back to class and pretend like my life is fine. Well, I went from being an A student to being a D student. I moved back home and attended a college close by the next semester. I had been on Zoloft for 12 months now and tried a couple others (wellbutrin, lexapro) and I felt like a zombie.
I didn't have emotions, all I knew was something was wrong with me. I wasn't happy, I didn't care about anything, I lost all feeling and touch with the world. I decided to take myself off. I went to my dads for a few weeks and it was the perfect time to ween myself off a little bit at a time because I was out in the country doing some work outside and just hanging out stress free. Once I got back, I was feeling good I was happy I wasn't taking the meds anymore and I was feeling optimistic. I still wasn't feeling completely normal but I was able to function 100% better than before and I wasn't having anxiety all the time. My girlfriend of 3 1/2 years even told me I seemed a lot better. She tried to be as supportive as she could, but she could only understand so much. We broke up about a month later.
I started getting back into smoking real weed and it was OK. It didn't make me trip out or have anxiety or anything like that. 3 weeks later I ended up getting arrested because my dumbass friend through his weed in front of a cop and my life hit another curveball. My mom bailed me out, I dealt with it, and put it past me. A month after that my mom was admitted into the hospital after my stepdad found her unconscious not breathing with no pulse. Luckily him being a paramedic and a firefighter he had a defibrillator and was able to get a pulse. By that time the ambulance arrived and brought her to the hospital. 72 hours I held her hand while she passed away. Within two months after taking myself off anti depressant meds, I was arrested, broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years, and my mom passed away. I went back to college 10 days later and started another semester. My family kept telling me I could take some time off, but I had planned on moving back before and I knew that's what my mom would have wanted.
Fast forward 5 years later from the beginning of this story. I'm 24 years old, and I will be turning 25 in November. I graduated college with a degree in finance and now work for a multi billion dollar company making a pretty good living as an analyst. The reason I tell this story is because I want to start something that helps those with mental illnesses. Anything from a simple break up blues to depression. I my original question was if anybody followed this thread still. If there is anybody out there that is still struggling with this or anything else or someone that may be close to a situation I'm always here to listen and tell you what I have done that helped me.
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