New to the forum

[Diana]

Hello everyone. Thanks for contributing to the forum, thus allowing me to do so. I joined today because I became anorexic when I was about 20 years old. I wouldn't consider myself anorexic now - I'm 28 - but I still go through periods of time when I have the same feelings and tendencies as I did when I was at my worst. In fact, not a day goes by when I don't look at myself in the mirror to check out my stomach or how big or small I look. To everyone struggling right now, I want you to know that I've come a long ways and that you can do the same.
The real reason I joined today is because I find that I've been having quite a bad week when it comes to not wanting to eat and eating only fat free meals. Next week I plan to get back into my exercise routine, and therefore eat better meals. For the last couple of weeks there have been some holidays and nightly outings that threw me off schedule, which should be fine! But, for me it means I have to eat less and cut out more fat because I'm not exercising.
I'm really not so bad anymore and I haven't been for years, but some of the feelings I was getting this week started to scare me a little. After reading many of the entries on this forum today I almost didn't post a message. Eating disorders are scary and I just didn't want it to be a part of my life. However, it is a part of my life so I can't run away from it. I can learn from it and improve from it though. I don't want to dwell on the past, but I have to deal with the feelings I'm having in the present.
Sorry for making this so long. Haunting, good for you. There's no time like the present to make changes. Use everything that you have in the present moment to your advantage. Holly, I'm impressed with your recovery. I really don't want to go backwards but sometimes in a strange way I want to. Anyway, I have more things to share so I hope to hear from some of you. Thanks.

 

[ThatLady]

Welcome, Diana. It's wonderful to have you with us! It sounds like you've made good progress in overcoming your eating disorder. We all tend to slip up a bit, from time to time, when dealing with our own personal "demons". Yet, if we keep moving forward one step at a time, we're doing our best. No more can be asked of anyone. )

 

[Diana]

Thanks for replying. I talked to my boyfriend over the weekend and explained that last week was a hard one. Although we've talked about my past, I think it really is difficult for him to understand. He is Korean, and I really don't think that eating disorders are much of a problem here. I heard that they are on the rise in Asia, but in general Korean people eat all the time. Also, my boyfriend grew up on a farm where everyone was constantly working and they only ate meat once every month or two months if they were lucky. They think it's rediculous to not enjoy eating in every opportunity possible. Anyway, I thought about not bothering to get back into my eating and exercising routine last night, but I got my food ready and I've started the morning off well. Sometimes it seems rediculous that I have to think about it so much. I guess that's a problem we all have.