OCD and sexual thoughts

[gaurdianAQ]

Hi I have a question... I find often my OCD is tempting me to look at explicit images and other things that follow... ie masturbation etc...

Now I don't want to be doing these things as they are against my religious beliefs...

regardless of what your views are on this... what are some ways to cope with these ocd temptations aside from physical restrictions like turning off the computer/internet as I've already considered these...

its definitely getting easier but there are still times where my ocd takes over... well I assume it is my ocd

opinions???

 

[Retired]

Evan,

I'd like to get back to your query a bit later as I have to go out this afternoon. Perhaps others will give some of their thought in the meantime.

There could be a couple of things going on such as intrusive thoughts associated with your OCD, if you happen to have that diagnosis from your doctor. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts, but people with OCD sometimes tend to give them more importance than what they really are, just thoughts.

On the other hand, it may just be your own sexuality developing and maturing. As you well know, we are bombarded with sexually suggestive material every day making it hard to ignore.

I appreciate your religious beliefs in connection with the subject though, and therein is the balance you need to achieve.

Later,

 

[David Baxter PhD]

See:

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/16992-ocd-thinking-the-unthinkable.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessiv...our-steps-dr-jeffrey-schwartz-brain-lock.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessiv...thinking-and-best-way-to-start-treatment.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/20553-a-terrible-obsession.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/20247-intrusive-obsessive-thoughts.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/17639-obsessiveness.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessiv...lest-obsession-obsessing-about-obsessing.html

http://forum.psychlinks.ca/obsessiv...-ocd/12373-disturbing-intrusive-thoughts.html

 

[gaurdianAQ]

thanks I will check these out later after I get some more school work done

---------- Post added at 05:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:18 PM ----------

sorry for the double post but it wont let me edit.... I forgot some info I wanted to give... I find often that sometimes the temptations get to strong to resist.... these weak moments as I like to call them can either come in the form of masturbation or porn and masturbation... I hate having to admit to this weakness... the weak moments seem to come up about every 1 and a half weeks today being the exception... I just turned 18 yesterday and today I just had a flood of thoughts... such as at 18 you can use dating services, etc, etc which caused another flood of thoughts and I overwhelmed myself... I hate feeling like I have to go to confession every week for the same thing... (yes I'm catholic) I know the priest doesn't mind and says its good that I'm trying to improve but do you think if I can limit it that it will go away with age (probably not) I just figure from what I hear that 17 and 18 are a hormonal high point....

it just really scares me how I lose control in these weak moments... like the back of my head says don't do it, you know its bad but the rest of me shuts it out....

 

[Retired]

Evan,

I don't want to interfere with or challenge your religious beliefs, so please understrand that my coments are offered for your consideration, and for you to choose how this situation applies to your beliefs.

I see sexual energy as being just one of the natural drives of being human, much like hunger for food and thirst for drink (referring to hydration...eg water). We humans are programmed to reproduce, and being stimulated sexually by another human being is a normal and largely involuntary human response.

I focus on the word "involuntary" because one would not expect to feel guilt or shame about being hungry or thirsty, there should be the same acceptance of our sexuality. Like other normal human desires, they need to be expressed responsibly, but in my view, we should not feel guilty about them.

Of course the way you choose to manage these most basic human needs are decisions you have to make.

If you feel some areas of the internet trigger you in ways you don't want to be triggered, then you need to figure out ways to avoid those sites.

May I ask if you are interested in pursuing a relationship with someone at this time with whom you might channel some of your energy?

 

[Banned]

GuardianAQ,

Welcome to Psychlinks.

I wanted to chime in because I'm Catholic too and struggled with alot of what you're struggling with, especially at your age. I'm now much older (35) and I've found that as I've matured and changed, my thoughts and beliefs have too. I've found a way to reconcile who I am with what I believe, and find peace with that. For me, I think in the grand scheme of things, for all the sins I *could* commit, I don't personally think God will care if I masturbate or not. That's where I'm at now, but many years ago I was intent on entering a conservative convent and my thoughts were quite different.

There are psychological solutions, and there are spiritual solutions, and there are practical solutions, such as you've mentioned, like turning the computer or TV off. You could go pray a rosary. You could reflect on whether this represents a deeper, unmet need or spiritual issue in your life.

At the end of the day, I just want you to know that you are not alone in struggling with this, and I'm not sure there's a magical solution that just works. I think that as you grow and mature, things will come together for you and you'll be able to reconcile your thoughts and beliefs. Until then, as Steve says, you may have to avoid your triggers if they are problematic for you.

 

[gaurdianAQ]

gack my internet had a spasm... I had a nice reply written out now I have to rewrite it... I hate redoing things....

ok lets start from the beginning

thanks Turtle and Steve for the great replies

turtle you reminded me to do my rosary today I forgot....

steve I agree with you that these are all natural urges... I guess my fear is that I will become addicted to the feeling... I don't want to go into a relationship feeling addicted to sexual pleasure... bible aside I guess I just believe that if I can't resist these urges on my own it will be even worse if Im in a relationship... to answer your second question yes I am interested in starting a relationship

although I would like to keep sex till after marriage.... for biblical reasons and non biblical reasons... someone once said to me that if you can have a loving and happy relationship without physical intimacy before you are married then you are truly meant to be together.... I guess I also feel impatient about wanting these things... like if I started a relationship now I believe dating should be about 2 years... I don't want to jump into anything and I believe marriage should be forever so I don't want to make any mistakes

There is a girl I like.... I don't really know what she thinks of me though. I know according to my friends that its quite obvious when I like someone... I remember i liked this other girl before but it wasn't meant to be for 2 reasons... one it was purely a looks crush and she was 4 years younger than me with no interest in dating.... also she was avoiding me.... I don't know what the current girl I likes feelings on this are... I know sometimes she invites me and my friend to go horse riding at her house... I really like doing that... I've gone 3 times so far

speaking of triggers... what triggered me last time was it was the day after my 18th birthday and I was on facebook and saw an ad for a dating site... normally wouldn't affect me but I realized I am now old enough to use a dating site... do I want to know because there are lots of crazy people out there and Im not willing to take that chance currently and would rather meet someone in person....

but that was my trigger last time...

either way I think this is most of what i wrote last time and thanks for the great replies Turtle and Steve and David!

 

[Retired]

I know sometimes she invites me and my friend to go horse riding at her house... I really like doing that

I enjoy riding as well, but haven't had the opportunity in years....lucky you!

No one know where relationships might evolve unless we continue making contact, speaking to each other and explore areas of common interest. Some will move to the next level, while others will remain good friends..sometimes for years.

I still have friends I met in my teen years with whom I have contact well into my old fogey years!!

And we were not suggesting pursuing a relationship with the sole intention of having sex; and if you feel you prefer to wait until marriage, then that should be the choice you follow. The suggestion was made merely as a way to explore possible relationships, which could also serve as a release of energy that might otherwise be causing the distractions you want to avoid at this time.

I would not be concerned about addiction to these feelings, certainly not at this stage of your life, Evan. As others have said, your body and your mind are developing, hormones are "raging" as they like to say, and many of the urges you are experiencing have been experienced by every guy maturing into adulthood since the beginning of time.

 

[gaurdianAQ]

ya thanks.... now I just have to figure out how to get past this impatience... I always like to imagine myself in 5-10 years married with kids.... but that means I have to start dating now but rushing into things is bad as well.... ok so problem one dealt with more or less, thanks for the tips... now on to problem 2! Dating! lol....

but I don't think dating belongs in this forum so I might start a topic there some time.... does this site ever do live chats?

 

[Daniel E.]

does this site ever do live chats?

No.

 

[Retired]

but I don't think dating belongs in this forum

The topic could be discussed in the section on relationships, Evan.

Actually arranging a date, would be up to you, though

 

[gaurdianAQ]

ok I was just thinking about something, things have been getting easier to resist recently (the masturbation issue Im over looking at stuff I shouldn't) but I've been under a lot of stress with school recently so do you think once schools over and I'm more relaxed it will get easier?

 

[Retired]

I've been under a lot of stress with school recently

Evan,

Depending on how you manage your vacation time, you may find it less stressful, but you may want to figure out ways to manage stress throughout the year. Consider that whether you decide to pursue higher education, or trade school and eventually enter the workplace, you will be facing stress in all of these. Add to that, the reality of everyday life such as entering a relationship, perhaps raising a family, running a home managing your financial affairs and working at your job, the stress can become overwhelming unless you find ways to manage the stress itself.

While people with Tourette, as I believe you are, probably have a higher basic level of anxiety then the general population to begin with, and knowing that stress is cumulative depending on the situations you encounter, you would do well to keep the number of activities in your daily life to a manageable amount.

If you happen to be an enthusiastic and creative person, it's often easy to take on multiple projects at one time, but realizing that you may be susceptible to becoming over stressed, you would want to learn how to say "no" to taking on more than is within your comfort level.

So, if your time at school is stressful, you may want to look at why you are being stressed. Is it because you are involved in more activities than you can easily manage in the time frame required? If so, can you postpone some of these obligations or ask for help in order to share the load?

What is it about your current school situation that is causing your stress?

 

[gaurdianAQ]

actually Im doing my schooling at home through amdec, the issue is I can't keep up with the work and let my deadlines pile up, worst yet I started 4 courses at the beginning at the year that should have taken 1 semester to complete, Im just finishing them now.....

I find that the issue with the amdec system, is a few things, one in some of the lessons there are broken links, the teachers are only available for live chat 1-2 times a week and then its e-mails, some stuff is harder to write out on the computer like math, and I swear there is more work in this than regular school.... Im tempted to try alpha omega learning systems next year, for several reasons, one if I fall behind it doesn't mean Im behind deadline as there are no specific deadlines (its actual home schooling) where as amdec its still getting your high school credits

another thing is with the real homeschooling, if my mom and I feel the need we can skip certain lessons (not saying I will but the idea is there) and the idea of real homeschooling is not to finish every single assignment but to know that they understand (at least that's my take on it) often I find with regular school and amdec, you are going through pages and pages of work to make sure you understand the work, when i often get it right away but am stuck going through long tedious assignments just so I can move on

and then there are courses like marketing where the assignments are really short, but the tests require you to remember all sorts of specific terms and be able to explain things off the top of your head (Im more of a look it up on the spot guy)

the other thing is if I do the alpha omega I can take only what I need, math, english, science then apply for college the next year as a home schooler (where with amdec you aren't considered a home schooler as you still get your high school diploma) so I would be done a year sooner (Im 2 years behind) I would be done a year sooner because I don't need to get all the extra credits that are optional which is about a years worth of credits, mind you some of those courses would be nice I can focus on the essentials and move on

just my thoughts

but back to the original question, just the pile of work I left myself with i mean Im pretty caught up but I've just been feeling stressed and unable to work (part of it could be dealing with my sisters but I will talk about that later)