Hi all.
I live in Ontario. I have struggled with suicidal tendencies since I was a child, about 9/10 years old. I have tried to commit suicide on several occasions. When I was ten I tried to swallow a lot of pills, which knocked me out for several days. When I was a teen I was placed in the hospital involuntarily for a month for my bad mental health in the adolescent unit. I self-harmed at the time, and continued for a few more years. I've recently started again. I was prescribed medication for my bad anxiety by my family doctor when I was a teen and was on it for awhile, but stopped taking it for some reason. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life, though I've never been "officially" diagnosed. I've only been loosely prescribed medication for my issues. I don't think diagnosis ever came up with the doctors. Which is strange, as I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication when I was 13.
I spent a two years of my life at home, never going outside. I could count the amount of times I went outside in a year with my hands. I have panic attacks when I have to make phone calls. I freak out and don't pick up when I receive them, even if they are important. I can't go to the doctor or dentist by myself. Or anywhere. I need someone with me. When we eat out, I ask my mom to tell them my order. I just can't face people, even if it causes embarrassment or anger from those around me. I managed to get a job somehow, without my high school diploma (long story), but I recently quit due to the distress and panic attacks I had. Due to my families financial issues I made myself work there for almost a year. It was very hard. I eventually cracked and couldn't do it anymore. Pretty much every day I hope I will die in my sleep. I had to take sleeping pills a lot because I would lie in bed distressed and wide awake picking my lips raw and bloody, but had to go to work. If they scheduled me more than 2/3 days a week at work I would be extremely upset, and could not enjoy my days off. Nowadays I usually sleep over 12 hours a day. I'm tired of this life. I don't have the will. Many of my relatives struggle with mental health. Many are on disability, so it is not news to them that I have "inherited" what they have. My mom thinks I have OCD as well, as I constantly pick at my scalp and lips until they bleed and scab, and I feel the need to do this even though it hurts. I've done the lip picking since I was young. The scalp scratching started when I started working, which is something my mom pointed out.
Anyways...
My family is very poor. My mom let me quit my job, and I have saved enough money to last us a few months on the hope that I might get ODSP. If not, I don't know what we'll do. After I quit my job due to the emotional distress, my mom suggested I try applying for ODSP. Our family doctor is VERY supportive of us and our situations. He helped my relatives get on disability, including my mom. I have no doubt he will help me in this situation. We have set up an appointment with him. My questions are, what should I do in this situation? I thought of going to him and asking for an official diagnosis - maybe see a psychiatrist for a assessment. After if I am diagnosed, have those forms with the ODSP forms and have my family doctor sign off the forms. Should I have a legal aid lawyer during this process, or only if I am rejected? I heard nearly everyone is rejected at first, but you can turn it around with the appeal. Should I get a legal aid lawyer before going to see the doctor, after I see the doctor, or if I get rejected and need to appeal?
My mom thinks I should become an in patient at the hospital again for my mental health. I think she says it may be easier for me, as there is a psychiatrist there to diagnose me if needed and they will help with ODSP. I don't believe I will get CPP as I don't think I have worked enough. I will be honest and say that I basically sabotaged my job due to my mental health. I called in sick a lot when I burnt out and could not face anyone, not even get out of bed. If it also means anything, I suffer from chronic migraines. I've suffered from this since I could barely remember. I've always gone to doctors for it. I am currently on prescription for them.
Help would be much appreciated. I can barely sleep from this stress and I have lost a lot of weight due to the lack of appetite. I've never felt so horrible. I constantly feel like I'm about to go on a stage and perform. These nerves are killing me. I'm sorry if this post is very long and whiny. I've basically read all the posts online about ODSP and anxiety/depression but I feel like I need to make a post. I don't know what to do and my head is spinning around.
I have suffered from suicidal tendencies, anxiety, and depression since I was a child. I have medical history of being prescribed medication for anxiety by my family doctor. I also suffer from chronic migraines, if relevant. I do not have my high school if that is relevant. I've always struggled with school and motivation. I do not go anywhere, I stay at home. People invite me out, but I don't feel like going or doing anything. I rely on my mom and other relatives to "do the talking" for me. I can't face people. I sleep 12 hours a day on average. I am not officially diagnosed, just loosely prescribed medication. What are my chances with ODSP, and what steps do I need to take in this process? This post is long I apologize. There is still things left out and so much for me to say but it's too long.
I live in Ontario. I have struggled with suicidal tendencies since I was a child, about 9/10 years old. I have tried to commit suicide on several occasions. When I was ten I tried to swallow a lot of pills, which knocked me out for several days. When I was a teen I was placed in the hospital involuntarily for a month for my bad mental health in the adolescent unit. I self-harmed at the time, and continued for a few more years. I've recently started again. I was prescribed medication for my bad anxiety by my family doctor when I was a teen and was on it for awhile, but stopped taking it for some reason. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for most of my life, though I've never been "officially" diagnosed. I've only been loosely prescribed medication for my issues. I don't think diagnosis ever came up with the doctors. Which is strange, as I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication when I was 13.
I spent a two years of my life at home, never going outside. I could count the amount of times I went outside in a year with my hands. I have panic attacks when I have to make phone calls. I freak out and don't pick up when I receive them, even if they are important. I can't go to the doctor or dentist by myself. Or anywhere. I need someone with me. When we eat out, I ask my mom to tell them my order. I just can't face people, even if it causes embarrassment or anger from those around me. I managed to get a job somehow, without my high school diploma (long story), but I recently quit due to the distress and panic attacks I had. Due to my families financial issues I made myself work there for almost a year. It was very hard. I eventually cracked and couldn't do it anymore. Pretty much every day I hope I will die in my sleep. I had to take sleeping pills a lot because I would lie in bed distressed and wide awake picking my lips raw and bloody, but had to go to work. If they scheduled me more than 2/3 days a week at work I would be extremely upset, and could not enjoy my days off. Nowadays I usually sleep over 12 hours a day. I'm tired of this life. I don't have the will. Many of my relatives struggle with mental health. Many are on disability, so it is not news to them that I have "inherited" what they have. My mom thinks I have OCD as well, as I constantly pick at my scalp and lips until they bleed and scab, and I feel the need to do this even though it hurts. I've done the lip picking since I was young. The scalp scratching started when I started working, which is something my mom pointed out.
Anyways...
My family is very poor. My mom let me quit my job, and I have saved enough money to last us a few months on the hope that I might get ODSP. If not, I don't know what we'll do. After I quit my job due to the emotional distress, my mom suggested I try applying for ODSP. Our family doctor is VERY supportive of us and our situations. He helped my relatives get on disability, including my mom. I have no doubt he will help me in this situation. We have set up an appointment with him. My questions are, what should I do in this situation? I thought of going to him and asking for an official diagnosis - maybe see a psychiatrist for a assessment. After if I am diagnosed, have those forms with the ODSP forms and have my family doctor sign off the forms. Should I have a legal aid lawyer during this process, or only if I am rejected? I heard nearly everyone is rejected at first, but you can turn it around with the appeal. Should I get a legal aid lawyer before going to see the doctor, after I see the doctor, or if I get rejected and need to appeal?
My mom thinks I should become an in patient at the hospital again for my mental health. I think she says it may be easier for me, as there is a psychiatrist there to diagnose me if needed and they will help with ODSP. I don't believe I will get CPP as I don't think I have worked enough. I will be honest and say that I basically sabotaged my job due to my mental health. I called in sick a lot when I burnt out and could not face anyone, not even get out of bed. If it also means anything, I suffer from chronic migraines. I've suffered from this since I could barely remember. I've always gone to doctors for it. I am currently on prescription for them.
Help would be much appreciated. I can barely sleep from this stress and I have lost a lot of weight due to the lack of appetite. I've never felt so horrible. I constantly feel like I'm about to go on a stage and perform. These nerves are killing me. I'm sorry if this post is very long and whiny. I've basically read all the posts online about ODSP and anxiety/depression but I feel like I need to make a post. I don't know what to do and my head is spinning around.
I have suffered from suicidal tendencies, anxiety, and depression since I was a child. I have medical history of being prescribed medication for anxiety by my family doctor. I also suffer from chronic migraines, if relevant. I do not have my high school if that is relevant. I've always struggled with school and motivation. I do not go anywhere, I stay at home. People invite me out, but I don't feel like going or doing anything. I rely on my mom and other relatives to "do the talking" for me. I can't face people. I sleep 12 hours a day on average. I am not officially diagnosed, just loosely prescribed medication. What are my chances with ODSP, and what steps do I need to take in this process? This post is long I apologize. There is still things left out and so much for me to say but it's too long.
