Please, will someone help?

[Needing_Help]

I'm fifteen years old, and I know that there is something badly wrong with me, and I think I really need help.

Eh... to sum it up,

I am completely emotionally detached, have an inability to love, I am generally depressed (often because of the first two factors). I don't care about anyone around me at all, I really, really would like to but I can't. I feel anti-social a lot of the time, but I have enough friends - they mean very little to me though, and I think if I never saw them again I would not miss them, although I know they are all good people. My family life has never been good, but to be honest I didn't really care what happened to my parents when they got divorced or anything else - it didn't upset me (virtually) at all. I can usually generate false emotions well enough - I don't think people who are close to me really understand the way I am, and how could I explain it to them? In my heart and mind I don't feel anything (for instance, I can sit through a whole depressing movie and just get bored and want to leave the cinema), but sometimes, tears come to my eyes and my throat hurts when I am watching something sad, although mentally I don't feel sad at all. I can't really bring the things people tell me into pictures in my mind - There are few things that bring me any emotion at all (except general depression) - the things that do are really small and typically last very briefly - often sadness.

I have a problem taking things on board sometimes when people tell me something, like when a relative has just died. The words simply wouldn't stick to me - I wouldn't be able to grasp the fact that someone died. Even if, say, someone in my family broke an arm, I would have trouble visualising the situation, and I would be unable to feel pity for anyone even if I did see them with a broken arm. It wouldn't mean anything to me. I'm not a chronic liar, but I tend to lie a lot for the hell of it... I don't get a kick out of it, but I do it anyway if it makes my life easier.

I'm not egocentric particularly - I don't have a high self esteem or a low one - I generally don't tend to think about myself too much in a good way or a bad away (except how bad my problem is).

I feel very empty inside and I know my life is meaningless. People tell me I give good advice, but that is because I understand people logically rather than being able to empathise for them. I am highly apathic - I hate working and am always lazy. I used to fixate myself on things like politics, not because I cared about any agenda in particular, just because I found the overall processes fascinating. I have low sexual interest compared to almost everyone I know, and I haven't had a crush on anyone for over a year now.

I spend a lot of the time being bored - few things seem remotely interesting to me. At school, I do well academically generally (I'm not the best in the year, but for the amount of work I put in (next to nothing) I do pretty well for myself).

I think, without trying to act too arrogant, I have a fairly high IQ (although I'm not as clever as some of the people I know), but my E-IQ is really low. I really don't care about the outside world at all - nothing in it means anything to me at all.

Well anyway, as you can see, I'm lost, bored and really messed up, and I need help. I would be really grateful if anyone could help me. As grateful as I could possibly be... :$

Thank you.

Needing_Help

 

[Needing_Help]

I'm fifteen years old, and I know that there is something badly wrong with me, and I think I really need help.

Eh... to sum it up,

I am completely emotionally detached, have an inability to love, I am generally depressed (often because of the first two factors). I don't care about anyone around me at all, I really, really would like to but I can't. I feel anti-social a lot of the time, but I have enough friends - they mean very little to me though, and I think if I never saw them again I would not miss them, although I know they are all good people. My family life has never been good, but to be honest I didn't really care what happened to my parents when they got divorced or anything else - it didn't upset me (virtually) at all. I can usually generate false emotions well enough - I don't think people who are close to me really understand the way I am, and how could I explain it to them? In my heart and mind I don't feel anything (for instance, I can sit through a whole depressing movie and just get bored and want to leave the cinema), but sometimes, tears come to my eyes and my throat hurts when I am watching something sad, although mentally I don't feel sad at all. I can't really bring the things people tell me into pictures in my mind - There are few things that bring me any emotion at all (except general depression) - the things that do are really small and typically last very briefly - often sadness.

I have a problem taking things on board sometimes when people tell me something, like when a relative has just died. The words simply wouldn't stick to me - I wouldn't be able to grasp the fact that someone died. Even if, say, someone in my family broke an arm, I would have trouble visualising the situation, and I would be unable to feel pity for anyone even if I did see them with a broken arm. It wouldn't mean anything to me. I'm not a chronic liar, but I tend to lie a lot for the hell of it... I don't get a kick out of it, but I do it anyway if it makes my life easier.

I'm not egocentric particularly - I don't have a high self esteem or a low one - I generally don't tend to think about myself too much in a good way or a bad away (except how bad my problem is).

I feel very empty inside and I know my life is meaningless. People tell me I give good advice, but that is because I understand people logically rather than being able to empathise for them. I am highly apathic - I hate working and am always lazy. I used to fixate myself on things like politics, not because I cared about any agenda in particular, just because I found the overall processes fascinating. I have low sexual interest compared to almost everyone I know, and I haven't had a crush on anyone for over a year now.

I spend a lot of the time being bored - few things seem remotely interesting to me. At school, I do well academically generally (I'm not the best in the year, but for the amount of work I put in (next to nothing) I do pretty well for myself).

I think, without trying to act too arrogant, I have a fairly high IQ (although I'm not as clever as some of the people I know), but my E-IQ is really low. I really don't care about the outside world at all - nothing in it means anything to me at all.

Well anyway, as you can see, I'm lost, bored and really messed up, and I need help. I would be really grateful if anyone could help me. As grateful as I could possibly be... :$

Thank you.

Needing_Help

 

[Daniel E.]

Why don't you see a psychologist or even a school counselor? Professional help is really the only way to go when symptoms are new or undiagnosed. Otherwise, instead of improving, depression can worsen over time as negative thoughts and feelings of meaninglessness go unchallenged.

I don't know if your school offers a gifted program or if you are in one already, but a gifted class can be helpful in more ways than one.

 

[Daniel E.]

Why don't you see a psychologist or even a school counselor? Professional help is really the only way to go when symptoms are new or undiagnosed. Otherwise, instead of improving, depression can worsen over time as negative thoughts and feelings of meaninglessness go unchallenged.

I don't know if your school offers a gifted program or if you are in one already, but a gifted class can be helpful in more ways than one.

 

[Needing_Help]

Um

We have a school counsellor. I'm seeing him, but he doesn't seem that helpful at the moment. He thinks I'm exaggerating things, which I don't think I am - I probably came over a bit too dramatic.

Thanks for your help.

 

[Needing_Help]

Um

We have a school counsellor. I'm seeing him, but he doesn't seem that helpful at the moment. He thinks I'm exaggerating things, which I don't think I am - I probably came over a bit too dramatic.

Thanks for your help.

 

[comfortzone]

Hi Needing Help,

One symptom of depression is having difficulty experiencing pleasure (anhedonia). It sounds to me like you tend to isolate yourself from others or keep your interaction with others down to a minimum. How well do you trust your school counselor and how long have you been seeing him? You might ask him to refer you to another therapist (psychologist, or licensed professional counselor) being that you don't feel he "hears" you. If you chose to stay with him and you have not been seeing him too long...you need to explain to him that you need to gain his trust and actually discussing the clinical issues too early for you might be distressful for you.

Your first goal is for you to develop a trusting therapeutic relationship without pressure of expectations. Once you feel that you can trust this counselor, then is the time for the two of you to deleve into your feelings and such.

I am also curious if you might be experiencing any anxiety? It is important that the services you receive be developed over a period of time to facilitate change in your life. Keep us posted.

 

[comfortzone]

Hi Needing Help,

One symptom of depression is having difficulty experiencing pleasure (anhedonia). It sounds to me like you tend to isolate yourself from others or keep your interaction with others down to a minimum. How well do you trust your school counselor and how long have you been seeing him? You might ask him to refer you to another therapist (psychologist, or licensed professional counselor) being that you don't feel he "hears" you. If you chose to stay with him and you have not been seeing him too long...you need to explain to him that you need to gain his trust and actually discussing the clinical issues too early for you might be distressful for you.

Your first goal is for you to develop a trusting therapeutic relationship without pressure of expectations. Once you feel that you can trust this counselor, then is the time for the two of you to deleve into your feelings and such.

I am also curious if you might be experiencing any anxiety? It is important that the services you receive be developed over a period of time to facilitate change in your life. Keep us posted.

 

[Daniel E.]

What about your parents? Have they noticed your depression or have you mentioned it to them? Having parental involvement (even if you don't like your parents) is helpful and would usually be necessary to see a therapist or psychologist outside of school. Personally, I would think that a psychologist would be more qualified to help you than the average school counselor, though there certainly are exceptions.


Regarding treatment for adolescent depression:

Treatment options for adolescents with depression are similar to those for depressed adults, and include psychotherapy and antidepressant medications (see major depression for a review of treatments and self-care). However, one major antidepressant, Paxil, now has a warning NOT to be given to children under 18.

Family therapy may be helpful if family conflict is contributing to the depression. Support from family or teachers to help with school problems may also be needed. Occasionally, hospitalization in a psychiatric unit may be required for individuals with severe depression, or if they are at risk of suicide.

http://www.shands.org/health/information/article/001518.htm

Treating Adolescent Depression

It is extremely important that depressed teens receive prompt, professional treatment. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can worsen to the point of becoming life-threatening. If depressed teens refuse treatment, it may be necessary for family members or other concerned adults to seek professional advice.

Therapy can help teens understand why they are depressed and learn how to cope with stressful situations. Depending on the situation, treatment may consist of individual, group or family counseling. Medications that can be prescribed by a psychiatrist may be necessary to help teens feel better.

Some of the most common and effective ways to treat depression in adolescents are:

Psychotherapy provides teens an opportunity to explore events and feelings that are painful or troubling to them. Psychotherapy also teaches them coping skills.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps teens change negative patterns of thinking and behaving.

Interpersonal therapy focuses on how to develop healthier relationships at home and at school.

Medication relieves some symptoms of depression and is often prescribed along with therapy.
When depressed adolescents recognize the need for help, they have taken a major step toward recovery. However, remember that few adolescents seek help on their own. They may need encouragement from their friends and support from concerned adults to seek help and follow treatment recommendations.

Mental Health America | Homepage

 

[Daniel E.]

What about your parents? Have they noticed your depression or have you mentioned it to them? Having parental involvement (even if you don't like your parents) is helpful and would usually be necessary to see a therapist or psychologist outside of school. Personally, I would think that a psychologist would be more qualified to help you than the average school counselor, though there certainly are exceptions.


Regarding treatment for adolescent depression:

Treatment options for adolescents with depression are similar to those for depressed adults, and include psychotherapy and antidepressant medications (see major depression for a review of treatments and self-care). However, one major antidepressant, Paxil, now has a warning NOT to be given to children under 18.

Family therapy may be helpful if family conflict is contributing to the depression. Support from family or teachers to help with school problems may also be needed. Occasionally, hospitalization in a psychiatric unit may be required for individuals with severe depression, or if they are at risk of suicide.

http://www.shands.org/health/information/article/001518.htm

Treating Adolescent Depression

It is extremely important that depressed teens receive prompt, professional treatment. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can worsen to the point of becoming life-threatening. If depressed teens refuse treatment, it may be necessary for family members or other concerned adults to seek professional advice.

Therapy can help teens understand why they are depressed and learn how to cope with stressful situations. Depending on the situation, treatment may consist of individual, group or family counseling. Medications that can be prescribed by a psychiatrist may be necessary to help teens feel better.

Some of the most common and effective ways to treat depression in adolescents are:

Psychotherapy provides teens an opportunity to explore events and feelings that are painful or troubling to them. Psychotherapy also teaches them coping skills.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy helps teens change negative patterns of thinking and behaving.

Interpersonal therapy focuses on how to develop healthier relationships at home and at school.

Medication relieves some symptoms of depression and is often prescribed along with therapy.
When depressed adolescents recognize the need for help, they have taken a major step toward recovery. However, remember that few adolescents seek help on their own. They may need encouragement from their friends and support from concerned adults to seek help and follow treatment recommendations.

Mental Health America | Homepage

 

[Needing_Help]

Thank you all for your help.

I've seen my school counsellor once, its just that it didn't feel like he really understood what I was trying to say. I'm seeing him again on Wednesday, but I don't know if things will end up being any different.

I'm close to my mother, not to my father. She has a lot of problems on her own (a lot about my father - they've been unhappy for 15 years but they've been divorcing messily for two). I'm very insensitive towards her, and that's my main problem - I can't empathise her problems but I really, really want to. I don't have any emotional meaning for anything, and that's my greatest issue with myself. She's a really really good person I know, and I know she's incredibly kind and loves me more than I deserve, but inside I don't love her back or feel anything for her. I don't even feel guilty about it - its more that I know that the way my mind works is horrible. It's something I would prefer not to discuss with her for those reasons.

As for anxiety, the only anxiety I get is from my issues, because I know I'll never be able to live happily with them wherever I go. Just another example here, I once got mugged by someone with a knife about three months ago. I should have been scared s***less, but it didn't do anything to me. It was just like, ok, here's your money.

I dont really try to isolate myself from others - I have friends at school, it's just that they really don't mean anything to me at all. I could forget about them completely if I never saw them again. I sound like a complete jerk, but its not my fault, I really wish I weren't like this. It's the thing I hate most in the world. My depression isn't really as bad as other peoples' I know - sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down, I guess a little more down than up but I cope... my depression is mainly because of my current problem, although all the memories I seem to recall are generally bad ones so I guess it goes deeper than that.

Thank you all for your help.

 

[Needing_Help]

Thank you all for your help.

I've seen my school counsellor once, its just that it didn't feel like he really understood what I was trying to say. I'm seeing him again on Wednesday, but I don't know if things will end up being any different.

I'm close to my mother, not to my father. She has a lot of problems on her own (a lot about my father - they've been unhappy for 15 years but they've been divorcing messily for two). I'm very insensitive towards her, and that's my main problem - I can't empathise her problems but I really, really want to. I don't have any emotional meaning for anything, and that's my greatest issue with myself. She's a really really good person I know, and I know she's incredibly kind and loves me more than I deserve, but inside I don't love her back or feel anything for her. I don't even feel guilty about it - its more that I know that the way my mind works is horrible. It's something I would prefer not to discuss with her for those reasons.

As for anxiety, the only anxiety I get is from my issues, because I know I'll never be able to live happily with them wherever I go. Just another example here, I once got mugged by someone with a knife about three months ago. I should have been scared s***less, but it didn't do anything to me. It was just like, ok, here's your money.

I dont really try to isolate myself from others - I have friends at school, it's just that they really don't mean anything to me at all. I could forget about them completely if I never saw them again. I sound like a complete jerk, but its not my fault, I really wish I weren't like this. It's the thing I hate most in the world. My depression isn't really as bad as other peoples' I know - sometimes I'm up, sometimes I'm down, I guess a little more down than up but I cope... my depression is mainly because of my current problem, although all the memories I seem to recall are generally bad ones so I guess it goes deeper than that.

Thank you all for your help.

 

[comfortzone]

You're welcome Needing Help.

I would say that you need to give this counselor or if you get another therapist some time to get to know you. If you do make sure you explain to them the need to build this relationship given your feelings and such.

What is it like for you to be in any relationship? Are you concerned about other people's criticisms? Have you experienced a rewarding relationship?

Take care,

 

[comfortzone]

You're welcome Needing Help.

I would say that you need to give this counselor or if you get another therapist some time to get to know you. If you do make sure you explain to them the need to build this relationship given your feelings and such.

What is it like for you to be in any relationship? Are you concerned about other people's criticisms? Have you experienced a rewarding relationship?

Take care,

 

[Needing_Help]

I'm generally not too bothered about what other people think of me to be honest...

I mean I used to care quite a lot (I guess even a little insecure) or what some people thought, but then I began to think that it didn't really matter what they said - I guess it's more that I didn't really care what happened.

My friends are generally whose company I like being in because they're funny or they're cool or whatever, but inside I know that we're just acquaintances most of the time. Some of the relationships I've been in have felt good, but those have been generally pretty fleeting ones.

I may get another therapist, but for the moment, I want to see what happens with the school counsellor - hopefully he will see what I'm trying to say eventually.

But even if he does, I don't understand what's wrong with me!

I really, really don't want to be the way I am, but there's nothing I can do to change it, as hard as I try.

 

[Needing_Help]

I'm generally not too bothered about what other people think of me to be honest...

I mean I used to care quite a lot (I guess even a little insecure) or what some people thought, but then I began to think that it didn't really matter what they said - I guess it's more that I didn't really care what happened.

My friends are generally whose company I like being in because they're funny or they're cool or whatever, but inside I know that we're just acquaintances most of the time. Some of the relationships I've been in have felt good, but those have been generally pretty fleeting ones.

I may get another therapist, but for the moment, I want to see what happens with the school counsellor - hopefully he will see what I'm trying to say eventually.

But even if he does, I don't understand what's wrong with me!

I really, really don't want to be the way I am, but there's nothing I can do to change it, as hard as I try.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I really, really don't want to be the way I am, but there's nothing I can do to change it, as hard as I try.

Perhaps not on your own and perhaps not with the help of this counselor. In many areas, school counselors have only limited training - that may not be the case in your school, of course, but don't give up hope on the basis of a single counselor who may simply not have the necessary skills or training to help you.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I really, really don't want to be the way I am, but there's nothing I can do to change it, as hard as I try.

Perhaps not on your own and perhaps not with the help of this counselor. In many areas, school counselors have only limited training - that may not be the case in your school, of course, but don't give up hope on the basis of a single counselor who may simply not have the necessary skills or training to help you.

 

[Needing_Help]

Thanks for the help...

I thought at some point that I had like a chemical imbalance in my mind but I don't really know.

Is that possible...?

 

[Needing_Help]

Thanks for the help...

I thought at some point that I had like a chemical imbalance in my mind but I don't really know.

Is that possible...?