- Thread starter daisy
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Oooh... I like this thread! 8D
Um... I'm not handsome but I'm handy (my husband is handsome)! lol
Um... I'm not handsome but I'm handy (my husband is handsome)! lol
amastie
Member
A worthwhile thread for me at present.
I"m able to care about others. For me, that's a gift.
I"m able to care about others. For me, that's a gift.
I also like to help people... At least one good thing I got out of having a relationship with the type of parents I had is I find it easier to "read" people -- their eye contact, facial expressions, voice intonation, body language... I can read between the lines sometimes. Because I had to when I was growing up. I had to anticipate what my mother wanted, even though that was nearly impossible...
lol Despite the fact I can read a person's mood or anticipate a behaviour from them, until recently I would still befriend them even if I probably should not have... Because of course my idea of "friendship" was I do everything for you and you do nothing for me; you treat me like crap and I continuously make excuses and tolerate your horrible behaviour towards me... Partially I would see underlying that stuff that this person I chose to be with was wounded and needed fixing (er, rather, I thought trying to fix someone that didn't really want to be fixed was love - learned that from my dad)... Sound familiar?
Anyways, there you go, I'm starting to be more mindful of that sort of thing and I've recently shed a lot of unneeded baggage from other people (that is to say, I think I have enough baggage of my own!) lol... If I am with someone who I am considering as a friend, I am much more mindful: does she/he talk about other people behind their backs? Because if they do, then they'll probably talk about me when I'm not there... Does this person display odd/alarming/embarrassing behaviour in public to draw attention to him/herself? If that's the case, would someone else I know put up with this? If not, why the HECK should I put up with this? You know, that sort of thing.
So positively speaking, I'm learning more as I come along, here... I'm trying to be patient with myself, and not try to "hurry up and get better." That's what I tell everyone else with similar issues! Here's to following my own advice! lol :cheers-toasting:
Anyways, there you go, I'm starting to be more mindful of that sort of thing and I've recently shed a lot of unneeded baggage from other people (that is to say, I think I have enough baggage of my own!) lol... If I am with someone who I am considering as a friend, I am much more mindful: does she/he talk about other people behind their backs? Because if they do, then they'll probably talk about me when I'm not there... Does this person display odd/alarming/embarrassing behaviour in public to draw attention to him/herself? If that's the case, would someone else I know put up with this? If not, why the HECK should I put up with this? You know, that sort of thing.
So positively speaking, I'm learning more as I come along, here... I'm trying to be patient with myself, and not try to "hurry up and get better." That's what I tell everyone else with similar issues! Here's to following my own advice! lol :cheers-toasting:
Jolly, it sounds like I am looking in a mirror when you describe yourself. Although...since I have serious trust issues I usually don't give people a chance to use me. I have such a well built brick wall to keep people out. Ya know how some people have gay-dar..being able to see a person is gay...well I have radar for people who have issues. Since growing up with my mother's mental illness, I refuse to surround myself with people who are sick. And that;s why I have NO friends.
Well, my positive thought for today is...??? don't have one yet. lol
---------- Post added at 09:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:19 AM ----------
Thought of a positive thought for today....I have the GREENEST thumb you could ever see. Did the dish washer and some laundry..also vacuumed the living room and foyer..so I am treating myself to a movie. Watching New Moon...Twilight saga. LOVE IT!!!
Well, my positive thought for today is...??? don't have one yet. lol
---------- Post added at 09:00 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:19 AM ----------
Thought of a positive thought for today....I have the GREENEST thumb you could ever see. Did the dish washer and some laundry..also vacuumed the living room and foyer..so I am treating myself to a movie. Watching New Moon...Twilight saga. LOVE IT!!!
Positive thought for the day: Someone named "Daisy" has started a very supportive thread called "Positive thoughts today..."
Enjoy the movie Daisy....my positive thought is that I went to group therapy and spoke for twenty minutes on my dream and the obstacles...it was nice to get positive and helpful feedback from the other ladies in the group and to find out that I share the same dream with the same obstacles as two of them but none of us have given up hope...
They asked us what hope meant to us and each of us was able to speak to that...it was a very empowering two hours....
They asked us what hope meant to us and each of us was able to speak to that...it was a very empowering two hours....
Good post Jollygreenjellybean....I am always afraid that I will get your name wrong...I really like it by the way...
Sounds like you were on a similar journey to me...and I am going through the same changes making the same decisions...the only difference was that there were not that many people in my life so it did not take long before I had nobody left...they were all hurting me and using me and openly disrespecting me....so there was a period of upheaval when I became ill...I began speaking my mind and they could not handle it so they left or I asked them to. The relationships were not healthy anyway so I did not mourn them and am lonely sometimes but realize that I was just as lonely with them in my life so things have not really changed...the only difference is that now I am taking care of myself and am aggravated and insulted less often...
Today I am just enjoying 'being'....I don't feel well but know that is how it has been all my life and is not likely to change in the short run so I am listening, reading, going to groups and sharing parts of myself and my life with others in pain like I am. I am going to spend the whole day alone except for an hour visit with my case manager and I have decided to not mind...that is how it is right now and it is okay...as I rest I am remembering my past and all the mistakes I have made and how illness has affected my life...I have had a few triumphs too...like finishing college after giving up on getting any post-secondary education whatsoever...like winning scholarships and jobs in school...I suffered and went to school as a student with a mental disability so i received lots of help...but it was worth it. I learned so much.
I am being positive by accepting my situation for what it is today and not fretting about it today...tomorrow...I'll do my best to do the same...
Sounds like you were on a similar journey to me...and I am going through the same changes making the same decisions...the only difference was that there were not that many people in my life so it did not take long before I had nobody left...they were all hurting me and using me and openly disrespecting me....so there was a period of upheaval when I became ill...I began speaking my mind and they could not handle it so they left or I asked them to. The relationships were not healthy anyway so I did not mourn them and am lonely sometimes but realize that I was just as lonely with them in my life so things have not really changed...the only difference is that now I am taking care of myself and am aggravated and insulted less often...
Today I am just enjoying 'being'....I don't feel well but know that is how it has been all my life and is not likely to change in the short run so I am listening, reading, going to groups and sharing parts of myself and my life with others in pain like I am. I am going to spend the whole day alone except for an hour visit with my case manager and I have decided to not mind...that is how it is right now and it is okay...as I rest I am remembering my past and all the mistakes I have made and how illness has affected my life...I have had a few triumphs too...like finishing college after giving up on getting any post-secondary education whatsoever...like winning scholarships and jobs in school...I suffered and went to school as a student with a mental disability so i received lots of help...but it was worth it. I learned so much.
I am being positive by accepting my situation for what it is today and not fretting about it today...tomorrow...I'll do my best to do the same...
Daisy! We support you! *hugs* I know, it's not the same as having a therapist... Hm. You will have to update us in your other thread to let us know how things are going with crazymeangunlady...
Hey Raina! Awesome that you did so great for yourself with all those accomplishments, even when struggling with personal issues!
PS: Lots of people call my Jolly, or Jellybean, or JGJB... I know it's a long nickname, but I've had it for ages. I've thought of changing it, but I'm uninspired... anxiousamberartichoke or recoveringredrutabaga just don't have the same ring...
Hey Raina! Awesome that you did so great for yourself with all those accomplishments, even when struggling with personal issues!
PS: Lots of people call my Jolly, or Jellybean, or JGJB... I know it's a long nickname, but I've had it for ages. I've thought of changing it, but I'm uninspired... anxiousamberartichoke or recoveringredrutabaga just don't have the same ring...
I guess all this stress got the best of me, I am sick as a dog with a cold. Slept 15 hours over night, then I just woke up from a 3 hour nap. I want to go back to sleep right now...but gonna try to stay awake so I can sleep tonight. The mean neighbor went back to her other home, states away...so don't have to deal with her again till Halloween, Oct. 28thish. Thanks JollyGreen.
How come you have to deal with her at all? lol
Hi Daisy,
Glad you get a break...it seems like no matter where you are there is always something or someone to take the pleasure out of the day...it is like sitting at the park on a bright, warm sunny day and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and or black flies...what keeps me humble though is that I remember that I am a mosquito or a black fly to other people who just don't like me for whatever reason....conflict or no conflict...
Today I went to a group called Reclaiming Yourself After Abuse...it was the first group ... a large group of women....but the facilitators were very skilled and it turned out well...I left with a little more energy than I had when I went in..enough to do some grocery shopping that I have been putting off for almost a week because i just did not have the energy to do that and go to the groups I was scheduled to go to...it is ten weeks long .... it took everything in me to get out the door but once I got there I was glad I went. Tomorrow is a quiet day at home alone...but I don't mind...more time for reflection and much needed rest...the pain saps my energy...
Hang in there Daisy...I hope for better days ahead for all of us...
Glad you get a break...it seems like no matter where you are there is always something or someone to take the pleasure out of the day...it is like sitting at the park on a bright, warm sunny day and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes and or black flies...what keeps me humble though is that I remember that I am a mosquito or a black fly to other people who just don't like me for whatever reason....conflict or no conflict...
Today I went to a group called Reclaiming Yourself After Abuse...it was the first group ... a large group of women....but the facilitators were very skilled and it turned out well...I left with a little more energy than I had when I went in..enough to do some grocery shopping that I have been putting off for almost a week because i just did not have the energy to do that and go to the groups I was scheduled to go to...it is ten weeks long .... it took everything in me to get out the door but once I got there I was glad I went. Tomorrow is a quiet day at home alone...but I don't mind...more time for reflection and much needed rest...the pain saps my energy...
Hang in there Daisy...I hope for better days ahead for all of us...
Raina, sounds like you are doing all the right things for yourself. Your doing better than me, that's for sure...since I am not in any therapy or groups.
Jolly Green, Its all about my son not having anyone to play with in our neighborhood. There were two boys he was playing with, but these boys were bullying my son..throwing rocks at him, hitting him with toys....SO I stood up for my son, CALMLY talked to the dad about it...AND HE FREAKED OUT ON ME. Saying I WAS A NUT, CRAZY!!! I told him I see where his kids get their bullying from, and told him to keep his kids away from my son. This man is the BUSINESS DEAN at a local preforming arts school. He has never apologized, and my son begs me to play with his kids. I can't believe it happened, after I calmly tried to talk to him about the mean way his kids were bullying my son. His rant came out of no where. I was so shocked and still am.
Jolly Green, Its all about my son not having anyone to play with in our neighborhood. There were two boys he was playing with, but these boys were bullying my son..throwing rocks at him, hitting him with toys....SO I stood up for my son, CALMLY talked to the dad about it...AND HE FREAKED OUT ON ME. Saying I WAS A NUT, CRAZY!!! I told him I see where his kids get their bullying from, and told him to keep his kids away from my son. This man is the BUSINESS DEAN at a local preforming arts school. He has never apologized, and my son begs me to play with his kids. I can't believe it happened, after I calmly tried to talk to him about the mean way his kids were bullying my son. His rant came out of no where. I was so shocked and still am.
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