Positive thoughts today...

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Hmph. That wasn't very nice of him, that's for sure... Especially when Mr. Dean has a job in authority. That would be like the mayor's teenage child doing something that got into the newspaper and the mayor being so offended that someone actually witnessed something wrong with his perfect family that he had a fit in public and denied denied denied. Sort of a Mel Gibson-over-the-phone impression, eh? 8P

I wonder if there are any playgroups in your area that are supervised, or after-school programs? Anything in the schools, or community centres like clubs? Things that come to mind are sports, or chess, or swimming, or other physical activities? Maybe one of these days when you find more support (sorry, I can't remember, is this one of your children with Asperger's?), you could get a social worker or similarly qualified person to take your son out to socialize with other kids and give you a little bit of a breather...

 

[daisy]

EXACTLY Jolly Green....this neighbor was soooo offend and went off the deep end with me. I just wish other neighbors were out to witness it. My husband came home about 20 min.s later...and then wrote him a letter and left it on his door in the morning. Saying he must of been having a bad day, and being a man of distinction...he was sure he didn't mean what he said. This man had the nerve to email my husband back at hubby's WORK EMAIL...it was a two page letter ranting about how we are no PSHYCHOLOGISTS, and don';t know anything about child psycology...and they have NEVER had any other problems with any other kids his kids play with. He just went on and on. Not appologising for his yelling at me that I was nuts, psycho, AND a "COO, COO HEAD" he actually said that.

Yes, I have 2 kids with aspergers. But this is the son who is very social and is 8 years old.

I don't know how I can get into a support group. As far as putting him in any clubs or sports...I can't get myself up and moving to go do all of that. Just going shopping takes a lot of energy out of me. Tomorrow I am going to the DR. to sit for 8 hours with my hubby. He is taking a new MS drug tomorrow and he has to sit there in case he has a bad reaction to it. I hope my cold is better by then.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Yikes! What a RUDE dude! Yeah, I don't know who he thinks he is, but it sounds like he's not the sensible and compassionate type. He sounds like he thinks HE is the expert on whatever's going on. So if he is a jerk to you then it's safe to assume his son's may pick up on that and do those behaviors to your son (and probably to other kids)... Who knows. Stupid, that's for sure...

OK well, fun stuff for 8-year-old... What if your husband looks instead? I mean after you're better from your cold, and after he's done reacting (or not reacting) to his MS medication, not when you guys are sick or busy. It's not something you have to do right away, just in fits and starts, for instance if you have a sec where you are surfing the internet anyway or in a group of people who are chatting about daycare or their children, you could ask...

Does this help, for instance? Find playgroups, moms groups, kids activities, parenting tips | RaisingThem.com

 

[Daniel E.]

That RaisingThem.com site does look good. Even in my rural area, I see are a couple of moms there.

There is also Meetup.com, e.g. Aspergers.meetup.com

 

[daisy]

My plan for tomorrow evening...look up online some types of support groups in my area. Oh, my 8 year old is in Boy Scouts with hubby. Hubby grew up with a scout leader dad. 5 boys in his family, ALL EAGLE scouts. My daughter is trying to do Volleyball..and older son is helping out with a haunted house at local mall, and he works 2 days a week, lifeguarding at the YMCA. So they are keeping busy.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Oh that's good, do you find that these activities your kids are in give you a breather once in a while? Or do you still feel stretched too thin? I got the impression that you were feeling overwhelmed... So I was thinking well, maybe a) you need help -- ie: support, therapy, delegating the kids/husband to chores or b) the kids need to find things to occupy them so you can concentrate on yourself for a change. So it sounds like (b) is taken care of... And you mentioned at least you have a helpful husband and daughter... And then mentioned you needed to find somewhere/someone for your 8-year-old to play with (other than meangunlady's kid)... So you are taking care of that...

So now all you have to do now is figure out how to take care of yourself! 8) Can you get therapy/counseling through your work or your husband's work or through a physician's reference? What's happening with that fellow at your hubby's work?

Seriously, sounds like you take care of everyone but yourself... That's an after-effect, I suspect (if you had a mother or father like mine), of your childhood. You need to look after your family, yes, I understand that, but make sure you aren't neglecting yourself, hun...

*hugs*

 

[Raina]

Hi Daisy,

Hope you are able to find some support groups...I have been going to them since 2009 and they have been very helpful. I had a lot of questions about healthy relationships since all of mine were unhealthy, self esteem, assertiveness, anger, and I went to the ones at the hospital where they talked about depression and anxiety both of which apply to me...I even found a hearing voices group because I am a voice hearer although they are quiet right now and I really hope they stay that way...

One of the groups at the hospital was women's issues and I found that space to be very good for me....I am on waiting lists for several more groups in the winter and for next fall...they don't run many in the summer not in the community anyway...in the hospitals they run them year round...

I did not feel very well today...not that I do any day really...but some days I can get out the door easier than other days and today I could not see past my bedroom....but I made it out the door...

Sending you good wishes you too Jollygreenjellybean...you're so helpful and it helps in this thread to look for light in the midst of all this darkness...

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

You are wonderful to hear from as well, Raina and Daisy...

Hey Raina, I was wondering... Once in a while I heard voices, or at least I think I did. It was in a time long before I met my husband. I was living with a jerk who basically controlled my every move... I was probably half-starved (because he controlled what I ate - or rather I let him control me) and lacking sleep (because he was always partying at my house with his pals) and who I could have relationships (so I was quite isolated)... In retrospect it kind of reminds me of a cult! lol You're never allowed to be alone, and think your own thoughts... Anyways, towards the end of the relationship I could swear I heard a voice in my head that kept saying, "What about you?" It just kept repeating that phrase over and over... Sometimes it would go silent, other times it was quite insistent, always in the same mild tone. It sort of sounded like my voice, but it was not something I was asking myself consciously, it was like an independent voice... It kind of freaked me out, but I never told anyone except my therapist... He didn't really say much about what it could be either... I don't know if it was some kind of schizoid episode, or if it was just my subconscious trying to rescue me or what... I was just curious to know if the voices in your head were similar or completely different? I still, although very rarely hear someone sometimes and it wakes me up, but in these instances where I hear someone calling my name or something, I wake up and it's just a dream I think because my husband is snoring and I am wearing earplugs so my muddled mind makes up that it's words I am hearing or my name but it's just sounds... lol (You know like when your alarm goes off but you are dreaming it is a police siren or something)...

 

[Raina]

Hi Jollygreenjellybean,

I have heard voices since I was eight years old....most of the time...they just say the odd thing so that I wondered what the heck just happened...the only reason I knew it was something not of me was because the voices were always male...in 2009 I was hearing music and all kinds of strange noises and feeling all kinds of weird sensations in my body like a match being dropped on my foot when that was not happening in real time...each time they come it is different...sometimes they are caring other times they are downright destructive...they almost caused me to commit suicide on two occasions...it is a sheer act of God that I am still alive today...

So sorry you were in such a horrible relationship....many days I wish the fairy tales were true and the it was possible to live happily ever after...sadly that is not the case...your voices posed a very good question...what about you? I really hope you ask yourself that often and are taking really good care of you....I have come to realize that I am my best friend, confidant, supporter and defender...

The hearing voices experience is so vastly different for everybody...there is a hearing voices net work if you are interested where you can read accounts of others who hear voices...I did not find it very helpful simply because everyone's account was so different...the one thing we all had in common was we all tried to come up with a theory of where the voices come from and some of us had the same thoughts and others thought things that I never considered and still don't...we were also all freaked out at first and we all found it very debilitating when they became persistent and consistent and did not go quiet for days, months and in my last episode....they ranted day and night for three years...

I'm quite sad to hear that you hear voices too...I think it is a terrible phenomenon and it is one I dislike and don't understand....

The positive note for me is that they have not said a word since July 27th and I am enjoying every moment of peace in my already cluttered head...hope they leave you alone too...

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Well, in my case, I only heard that phrase, repetitively during the relationship I had with that drug addicted alcoholic. I remember occasionally thinking once or twice when I was a kid, I could have sworn my mom was calling me... I even got up and asked her what she wanted, and why she woke me up and she said she wasn't calling me and I must have been dreaming. Who knows? It only happened a couple of times. I don't remember it ever happening except those very few times, and not so much nowadays. The only time I am certain it wasn't me hearing that voice/phrasing was that one period of time in my life. I am just forever puzzled by it.

I am glad they aren't bothering you lately. That would be so disconcerting, especially that they would be nice to you one day and horrid the next! Sounds too much like my home life growing up. lol 8P Have you asked a therapist about those voices? Are you diagnosed with anything in particular or take medication for anything?

D'oh! Or maybe I should start PMing you instead of dragging out your personal issues and hijacking people's threads... Sorry Daisy!!

---------- Post added at 09:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:16 PM ----------

Hey Daisy, I'm ready to focus.... I have trouble lately... This thread is for Positive Thoughts... So I originally wanted to come in here and just be positive. Because that's nice to keep the ball rolling on positive... So I was thinking positively after my day. I learned a lot about myself. I had a therapy "assignment" and it was very helpful... Gives me ideas...

 

[daisy]

That's ok Jolly Green...I'm living and learning. Had a crazy day yesterday. It's such a long story. I have to organize it in my head and try to explain it here. It's about my sister-in-law and her kids being too skinny and her being mad people try to stuff junk food down their throats. Basically she's mad that I think her kids are BONE thin...and all she wants is for them to eat HEALTH food. Now these kids were born with Larson's syndrom...a bone and joint issue. 3 of her 4 kids have it, and have gone through a ZILLION surgeries each, and they are 12,7 and 4. She once said she wants them to be light weight so she can pick them up when they are imobilized from surgeries. She's the one who brought the subject up on facebook, and I explained why everyone around these kids see them as deprived/too skinny, and need of extra fat. Well, she didn't like that and went off on me. With her it's her way or tuff crap. She has screamed at Doctors on many occations. Oh well, she's nuts. AND I had to open my mouth and get in trouble AGAIN!!!

---------- Post added at 01:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:34 AM ----------

Looked up support groups, and found one 10 min.s from my house...thing is....I'm to anxious to go, or call the lady.:rofl: Did ya ever feel like your in the twilight zone, then realize it's only reality???? That's my day, every day!!!!

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Hm... Well as far as your sister goes, I suppose if anyone is going to say something it would eventually be social services. I have never heard the benefits of purposefully starving children so it's easier to take care of them... I am really shocked that her doctors haven't called social services already. They are bound by their oath. And if they're in school, so are their teachers! Grrrr... Karma is gonna come around at some point...

My mom (formerly a nurse) has managed to fool patients and family into taking medication because she tells the doctors to tell the recipients of said medication that the meds are for another reason, like vitamin supplements. If I am ever on my deathbed before her, I will be expecting my husband and physician and therapist to be around to make sure my mom doesn't weasel her way in to mess with my medications. Just for that reason alone I expect to live to at least 100 years old...

Looked up support groups, and found one 10 min.s from my house...thing is....I'm to anxious to go, or call the lady.:rofl: Did ya ever feel like your in the twilight zone, then realize it's only reality???? That's my day, every day!!!!

Hmmmm... Not that I want to enable your anxiety, but can you work around that and contact her by email instead? Even if there isn't an email, you know what I do? Because I get tongue-tied when I am calling places that I feel nervous at, I actually write a little script. It's my just-in-case backup...

For example if I was going to ask about the support groups, I would jot down some questions I might like to ask (so my mind doesn't go blank as soon as someone answers the phone)... When I was younger I would even write down an introduction to the call, so I wouldn't forget to tell the person who I was at the beginning of the call... (yes I was that terrified of the phone)...

Anyways... It wasn't like the script was always in order, but I would have a pen handy to check off my points and if the person I was calling had something I needed to jot down I would do that too... That way no need to call the person back (unlike my mom who, if she forgets, will call you back, and then she'll forget something else and call you back again... GAAAAH!)...

I hope that helps... 8D That's what I still do... Oh and it helps to take a few slow deep breaths through your nose (count of 4 in, count of 5 out), and then continue that while dialing, and then you feel so much more relaxed when someone answers the phone.

 

[daisy]

SISTER IN LAW....she only said that to me. I didn't bring it up to her in this latest rant...but I should have!!!! I will, IF she ever talks to me again. I told her, via email, her thought process was scaring me and I wanted to avoid that.
As far as support group....I could email the woman. But here;s my other excuse...we live in a small town...and my husband is a high school teacher, I don't want people to know my business.

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Hm... I don't know what you mean... You mean you don't want it to get out somehow that the support group might let out that you have your kids there? Isn't there some sort of privacy policy in place? I mean, people don't go around nosing about to find out whose kids are doing what, are they? If there was no privacy, I could see why things would be hard to do... But wouldn't it be better for you and your kids, if you said, "Screw what they think, I need support!" ?

Does the support group offer an outreach, as in, do they offer support outside of the actual building? Can you email to ask if they come to the houses, and if there is a privacy policy? Anyone in a doctor/therapist is not, by law, allowed to go blathering people's private issues to the rest of the world. Because they would totally get their asses kicked in a lawsuit or other legal procedure, or lose their license, get fined, or whatever, etc...

I suppose ultimately you have to weigh... Is it worth NOT going to the support so you can avoid someone you don't give a darn about knowing your business?

 

[daisy]

I am talking about a support group for me....anxiety type group. I don't want to show up and see parents of my husband students there and then have to talk about my issues. These things are private, and the truth will only mess up my mask of "everything is just fine" Ya know?

 

[H011yHawkJ311yBean]

Um, but aren't those parents also needing support? Is the support one-on-one, or does it have to be group therapy? Can you at least email to ask about it? Maybe they could schedule you to come in at times that no one else would see you or come to your house if it is a small enough community?

Ah, our family was one of those "everything is just fine" families. In public anyway. Now I'm in therapy because we were supposed to be some sort of superhuman perfect family. lol