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Paintballer

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I notice in the last year, I have been procrastinating so much. It has gotten way out of hand. I've had to miss full day's of work to complete things. I can't seem to focus in my office. The computer is in my office and I always play games or surf the web, which is much more fun than working. I start working on something and take a peak at my computer, and just stay on there. I usually do my work the next day, at work, which can be very stressful. I stay up late on the computer also, and when I should be going to bed, I start my work, and end up falling asleep. I'd really like some help with my procrastination.

Thanks again, for your time and help.
 

David Baxter

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This is all part of the behavior you've mentioned in the other thread, Paintballer - procrastination is a problem for every client, male or female, I've treated for pornography "addiction" -- which is interesting because the activity eats up so much time. Other internet behaviors, including gaming, do the same thing.

Have you ever been tested for ADHD?
 

Paintballer

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David Baxter said:
This is all part of the behavior you've mentioned in the other thread, Paintballer - procrastination is a problem for every client, male or female, I've treated for pornography "addiction" -- which is interesting because the activity eats up so much time. Other internet behaviors, including gaming, do the same thing.

Have you ever been tested for ADHD?
No, I have not been tested for ADHD. However, I used to be a lot better on my procrastination before my addiction. In my school years, I would usually start projects before the rest of my college classmates. Now that pornography is such a distraction, its hard for me to concentrate and keep my mind from wondering off. Not just about pornography, but other hobbies I enjoy a lot more during work.
 

David Baxter

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Okay... I was just curious.

What about depression, dysthymia, an anxiety disorder, OCD? Any thing like that in your personal or family history?
 

Paintballer

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David Baxter said:
Okay... I was just curious.

What about depression, dysthymia, an anxiety disorder, OCD? Any thing like that in your personal or family history?
Surprisingly no. Where would I be able to get tested for these things? I am somewhat short on money with the start of a new month, would this be costly?
 

David Baxter

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Probably, especially if you are in the US without government health care.

One of the things you can do is start keeping a mood log (see the David Burns book listed in "Resources" section -- near the top of the page in the main index).

Start by recording times when you think about going online or procrastinating in other ways:

  • what was happening that day, especially just before the urge? was this any different from when you did not have the urges?
  • what were you feeling? not just the primary feeling (e.g., stressed or worried) but also other feelings (annoyance, anger, sadness, etc.) -- how strong are these feelings relative to one another? are the feelings any different from those you generally have when the urges are not present?
  • when you had these thoughts, try to identify what you were thinking or saying to yourself (self-talk): how were you interpreting or talking to yourself about what was happening and how you were feeling?
  • how did that self-talk make you feel? e.g., more anxious? less anxious? more sad? more angry?
  • try to challenge those thoughts/self-talk: what if anything is wrong with how you are interpreting all this and reacting and what ytou are thinking/saying to yourself?
  • were you able to change any of the self-talk? if so, how did it change how you felt?
 

Vinton

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I've joined recently and was sort of diagnosed with ADHD like they are not 100% sure but I'm the same way as you. I get up in the morning and just cant get started. I have work to do around the house and my wife's business and I dont know where to start and the worse I feel guilty of not doing anything so I go for coffee with the guys and I feel good. When I come back it turn around in circle. I will also sit around and clean my computer but I can go to Canadian Tire and get something for my shop and then I will clean it all up.
Also with 35 years of multiple sclerosis it could be denying the fatigue but I dont know anymore.

I play golf twice a week and no problems with that even if I'm tired.

sure would like some feeback on that.
 

David Baxter

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What is it you're trying to do when you can't get motivated? How interesting are those tasks? What payoff or incentive do you see for you to get them done?
 

Vinton

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All I can say is that I feel Great, satisfied..
Even after I will go back a couple of times to check it.

Other times I will start a job like cleaning the garden and I just cant stop even if I'm burnt. I have to finish at all cost.
 

David Baxter

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No, I'm talking about the tasks you DON'T get to... not the ones you do.
 

Vinton

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Sorry David I dont understand exactly what you mean ..

I'm French across the river from you. lol
 

David Baxter

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The key to exploring procrastination is to look at WHY you are not doing certain things.

When you are anticipating playing golf, you don't procrastinate.

When you are trying to prepare to do certain other things, you do procrastinate.

There are obvious rewards for you to go play golf. It's something you enjoy doing. Getting motivated is easy.

With other tasks around the house, what might motivate you more? The task itself might be boring, uninteresting, even unpleasant. Can you build in certain rewards for yourself for doing them? Maybe making a rule for yourself that after you finish the task you will reward yourself with time spent on a hobby, or some other special treat, something enjoyable for you.
 

Vinton

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Thanks soo much,,

It should be easy to find a reward..

I've thought about what I said and I dont think I've answered correctly.
It could be my shop or my outside garage or the garden where stuff is lying but for most people it would be considered fine but for me I need it to be perfect. So I's not perfect, guilt sets in...

Here is one:

I went shopping and weny into Staples and some stuff was on special and I bought it. When I got home I Cleaned my office from one end to the other, replaced all my files etc. It's the same with my shop etc.

These occured over the years and has a burnout after:
Photography,music, woodworking shop.

OK! I 2000 I had a flood in my basement. After renovating I decided to build a woodworking shop. For the next 10 months or so I made designs, shopped and bought all kinds of tools, spent hours on the net for plans etc. I had each tool place neatly. You could walk on the floor. I did a few projects and sold it all.

In 72-73 It was the same for photography 24x7 and did a burnout. This I still got as a business.

In 82-83 it was music. Lessons, hours of practice, got the best equipment, started a band and the burn out.

OK! now I got it right.
 
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David Baxter

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I've thought about what I said and I dont think I've answered correctly. It could be my shop or my outside garage or the garden where stuff is lying but for most people it would be considered fine but for me I need it to be perfect. So I's not perfect, guilt sets in...

If I understand you correctly, it seems that this is the key: Your need for perfection (1) takes the fun out of activities for you; and (2) creates stress and anxiety which you then try to avoid by not doing the task or activity at all.

This is common in obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) or obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. If you are currently in therapy, this would be a goodthing to try to address there.

If not, a good starting point would be the book Brain Lock by Jeffrey Schwartz.

You might also talk to your doctor to review your medications. One that's often helpful with OCD is Luvox (fluvoxamine).
 

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