PTSD and EMDR

[Cherry]

Hi! I'm new to this site, and found it very interesting. I am currently receiving counselling for PTSD. I also take Effexor.

I have suffered PTSD since I was 5 years old and experienced a very traumatic event which changed the course of my life drastically.

I have been self medicating with alchohol since the age of 13. It has taken me a very long time to come to terms that I suffer a mental illness.

My counsellor has recommended hynosis therapy for me, but I must admist that I am very anxious about this. I am afraid that I have to confront the demon on my back, but am afraid that this will be too intense.

If anyone else has tried this therapy please respond.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I don't have any answers for you.

Just wanted to say welcome and hope that someone can answer your questions.

 

[Cherry]

Thanks, I appreciate the post.

I should also let people out there know that I also am a bulimic. I hate to acknowledge or even say this, but that's the way it is.

I should give you all a brief autobiography.

When I was five years old, my mother (a diagnosed schitzophrenic) had a total breakdown and shot my father resulting in his death. I was present at the time and have a total recall.

I believe that my mother was not a competent parent for the five years previous to this. I can remember distinctly several situations that could have caused my death. 1) We had a chimney fire in one of the houses that we lived in caused by (don't know for sure, but likely her smoking), 2, I drank a container of lighter fluid. (had my stomach pumped), 3, cigarette burns to my hand, 4, my younger brother fell down a sewer outlet and was found hanging by the skin on his scalp.

It was a Thanksgiving weekend when my mother took down a loaded shotgun from the refridgerator from the kitchen and came into the entrance for the kitchen to the living room and levelled the gun at my father. He was reading the newspaper at the time, but heard her come in. He saw the gun and said "no Shirley, don't" but she was not her right mind and shot him straight in the heart. I remember everything quite explicately, and wish I could turn back the clock, but I can not.

My mother's parents, my grandparents came to collect my brother and I from where we were staying, and thus began another tradegy. My grandmother in particular was very harsh with me, as I was old enough to remember what had happened. As far as she was concerned, it was my father's fault for what ever had happened to my mother.

My younger brother was favoured by my grandmother because he had no recollection of the events that had occured. I was not in the good books because I had memory, and on occasion made the fatal error of asking why my mother would do this.

Anyways, I did survive to tell the tale and of course there is a whole lot more, but I will save that for another day.

 

[HA]

Cherry,

{{{Here's a big hug for you.}}} What a traumatic and difficult life you have had. I'm so glad you have medication plus a therapist and are recovering from this. You are not the only one who has had these kinds of experiences when a family member has a serious brain disease such a schizophrenia. It's most unfortunate. Your mom was very, very sick.

I don't know much about hypnosis and PTSD. I have used hypnosis with a clinical psychologist in the past to quit smoking and for stress reduction. For stress reduction I think hypnosis is wonderful but I only had a couple of expereinces with this.

Dr Baxter will be able to answer your question about hypnosis and PTSD.

So glad you joined us.

 

[Cherry]

Thanks for responding. Because all this happened in the early sixties, there was no form of counselling available to me. For years I thought I was the only one who a such a "freaky" family. It wasn't until later in life I found out this was not so uncommon. Anyway, I'm glad I joined this forum beacause I think that between speaking to other people having PTSD, my counsellor and going to a Clinical Psychologist for hypnotherapy (scary) I will be able to maybe reconnect with my real self.

My counsellor says that when a child loses both parents at such an early age that that child becomes lost. My mother became institutionalized for 10 years.

I became quite adept at reinventing myself to the point that when I tell people about my past they are quite shocked because they believe that I am one of the most "together" people they know. On the exterior I live the American Dream. I have three beautiful boys, a loving and understanding husband (my knight in shining armour)
have a fantastic career and a beautiful home. Even with all of this it is like I am an outsider watching me live. I rarely feel true joy or happiness.

Thanks for listening to me ramble.

 

[cm]

Hi Cherry and Welcome. When you said that you 'rarely feel true joy or happiness' I understand. You have some wonderful blessings in your life right now, but you have also suffered tremendous loss in your life. I think that reaching out the way you are now is very courageous.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Cherry, your therapist knows you a lot better than anyone here, of course. However, given that your recall of the events is so vivid, I can't say that I would be recommending it and I also admit I have doubts that you are a good candidate.

Has anyone talked to you about EMDR? What other therapies have been tried (besides medications I mean)?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Followup: Just to let people know, Cherry has indicated that the therapist was recommending EMDR. This is a relatively new but recognized treatment for PTSD.

 

[HA]

Cherry,

I hope the time is soon that you will once again feel true joy and happiness. You deserve to have them. Let us know how things are going and tell me about the EMDR (if you don't mind) as I'm really curious about this and first hand experiences are good to hear. I'm glad you joined us too!

{a couple more hugs}

 

[TRleslie]

just wanted to say...

I think you are an amazing person. Thank God for you. you are so strong. So many people, including myself, would have given in to such tragedy after such a hard life. I aplaud you! and thank God for blessing you with an incredible husband and family.
God bless you always.