More threads by Ashley-Kate

well i have realized after 10 years almost past since my abuse that by keeping it close to me in my mind even when i tried so hard to deny it I was giving him the power the power over me and taking away the guilt that he should feel and living it myself witch is not okay i am not at fault! the thing is i always wanted to maintain the hole "you are the only one responsible of what happens to you alive i thought well i was a bused it was my body so i am the one that is responsible and yet it is not fact even if i would have walked in the room [[Edit: potential triggering details]] myself at the age of 10 years old almost 11 i was not mature or even grown enough to realize i didn't want that i knew i didn't but at the same time i didn't want him to hate me! i did what i thought was best at the time and that does not make me guilty for one second that was my way of dealing with everything to just shut up! now i look back and feel bad for all the pain that since then i have inflicted on my body to punish myself for what had happened the scars on me that i left will never go away but now i know that i deserve better that no matter what i don't deserve to be raped , beaten or hurt by anyone! and we must all know that young and old whether you fight back or you stay as still as a statue you are not the one at fault! never let anyone tell you otherwise!
 
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