Really missing the party life...

[HotthenCold]

Hiya,

just need to vent a bit about how crappy I feel because I can't party anymore.

I'm 7 months sober and still dealing with a lot of early recovery stuff (I consider this early still), and I can't go to the music festivals I love so much. I really am so drawn to the electronic music scene, I love the music, costumes, craziness, and vibe and the people, but there are so many drugs around and I just get too crazy when I do them. They just cause me untold anguish on so many levels.

The thing is I know these parties are happening, and I want to badly to be a part of them. All of my old friends are going, and living it up, and I just feel like I'm missing out in such a big way! I figure it's possible that eventually, in a year or two I'll be able to go to those festivals once I'm stronger in my sobriety, but it is such a drag right now.

Connecting with people in the program (AA) is ok, but it's just not the same. I am living such an isolated life, and have been for a while now and it's getting so boring and lonely. Gah. I don't even feel that good about my sobriety. I feel mediocre at best. It's nice to not have all of that old craziness and anxiety, but I feel like I'm missing out so much!

That's about it. I know it's not really much of a problem, but it sure hurts.

 

[Budoaiki]

HTC,

Congratulations on your sobriety! 7 months dry I think you should be very proud of yourself. I watched my mother struggle for a long time with alcoholism and substance abuse which were crutches that ended up exaggerating and creating problems. It took a change of social circles and a lot of support for her to get and stay sober which wasn't easy. You mentioned your old friends were still going to concerts and music festivals ect so I wonder if that's what you've had to do.

I bring this up because I wondered if maybe looking into other social activites might help with the loneliness and if any of your old friends who are supportive of your sobriety might want to do other things with you that won't tempt you. Maybe a creative outlet of some sort if you've ever had the desire for or interest in a hobby might help if you're feeling idle.

 

[MHealthJo]

Congratulations on 7 months sober HTC. Fantastic. But yeah.... It does sound really hard missing out on enjoyable things which would be too much of a tempting situation right now.

It's true... music festivals are such an amazing fun 'carnival' atmosphere.

I do believe that the time will come when you can enjoy SO many things again, but without moving in those wrong directions.

Keep telling yourself..... This is hard, but it's not forever......

I too encourage you to keep taking little steps towards new friendships and connections that involve activities you can enjoy..... it is so great to hear you are making connections in AA, even though things right now don't feel like the intense experiences of your old lifestlye.

And remember there are people out there who enjoy these kinds of events, but sober. Maybe in time you will be able to find those sorts of groups, using websites like Meetup.com, etc? They are full of friendly people who want to be accepting and positive, welcoming others.

Something also to check out could be other 'fringe culture' scenes? Anime, scifi, arty, art film, geek, gamer, or possibly even semi new-age type crowds?

There are friendly, welcoming, and interesting people out there who sometimes kind of 'cross over' with the electronic music scene quite a bit. Or even just very...well... boring/normal folks who enjoy the music. Maybe one day, they could be the people you could enjoy these events with, but who will support you to enjoy these things sober.

Connections you currently are making could eventually be those people, too.

Also, this might sound thoroughly out of many people's comfort zone, but I'm just going to share it anyway to prove that it can be possible.... but I personally have at times gone to music festivals on my own, and was able to enjoy the atmosphere and the music and the sights and the surroundings as a personal experience without necessarily needing to be with someone else that I knew. It's quite strange, but at times doing that it felt like I was connecting with the music and everyone else there in some strange different way... felt kinda connected to the group atmosphere and the group consciousness itself. Weird.


In any case....... AMAZING work, dude, and we are so behind you.