A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he won't get a bikini wax.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.
Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.
The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior."
We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
