Should Parents Spank Their Kids?

[forgetmenot]

I was going to say it is just that black and white there is no reason for it at all no logic for it at all there are no grays when it comes to child abuse It is black and white

 

[Lana]

Why should the fact that the assailant is a parent and the victim a child have any bearing at all on the issues?

I would like to add to this and say that the fact that the hitter is a parent makes is even worse, not acceptable. Parent's job is to protect and care for their children....not beat them into submission. Beatings do not make a child a better person. A child does not become a better person because of being beaten by parents, but in spite of being beaten by parents. Adopting a former line of thought (the "because of" belief) validates abuse and beatings. The latter (the "in spite of" position), on the other hand, takes away the power of the beating and assigns the power were it's due -- to the survivor.

 

[Jazzey]

I've been avoiding this thread for the past few days. I can't believe that, in this day and age, we are still debating whether or not corporeal punishment (I'm using this term on purpose) has a long term effect on children. It's a tough topic for me. With all that we know now, there is absolutely NO reason whatsoever to ever touch a child in anger.

 

[forgetmenot]

It makes me so sad so angry that people still think this way. Have they not been educated on what happens on how things can escalate from a hand to other ways I don't understand just by shaking a child so much harm can be done. I think every parent should have some kind of parental course before even thinking of having a child I know it won't happen but education is the key here

 

[Mari]

Most members of the task force disagree with Larzelere, however, and stand firm in their recommendation against corporal punishment, which is still used by more than 90 percent of American parents at some point and condoned by more than 70 percent of the population, according to 1995 and 2005 survey data.

I disagree with Larzelere but I do think it is more complex than just stating that 90 percent of American parents at some point used corporal punishment. One example is a child having a violent temper tantrum - kicking, screaming, biting, smashing - and the parent physically holds the child in a tight hug to prevent the child from harming them self and/or another person. What about an adult who is in shock and is given a sharp smack to bring them to awareness? Should either of those be considered assault and result in arrest of the offending person? Parents need education and support and by the statistics given I would say more convincing debate is still needed. Mari

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't think physical restraint counts as either corporal punishment or assault...

 

[Hermes]

Agreed David.

In any event, there is something wrong if a child is having seriously violent tantrums (children have naturally high spirits and can get into mischief, as we all did, but I am not talking about that). A child with serious behavioural problems needs to be taken to see a specialist.

If we need further evidence of how violence in the home engenders violence in children, look no further than the terrible story from Edlington (U.K.) Sentencing of two boys 11and 12 took place today.

Hermes

 

[forgetmenot]

Actually physical reatraint holding a child in a tight hug and calming the child is a postive way of helping that child talking calmly while holding the child will eventually get the child to a point where he or she does relax and no harm was done the child as you said was kept safe.

 

[Murray]

I was surprised when I spoke with my mother the other day by what a case worker had told her about disciplining her kids. My mother has several foster children as well as some adopted children. She has decided to adopt another one of her foster children and one of the case workers said to her that this was a very good thing because as soon as he was her adopted child, not a foster child, that she could finally give him the spankings that he so desperately needs! I couldn't believe a case worker would tell her this.

I was spanked occasionally and I know that she does spank the children that she has adopted, but I was just shocked to hear a case worker giving this suggestion. I have found that hugging the children and rubbing their backs until they calmed down seemed to work more effectively when they were having a tantrum than her hitting them.