Hi everybody,
I accepted an invitation by my friend Steve, who moderates the Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada Forum, and here I am.
I was born in 1953 in Hamburg, Germany, where I lived until I was 25. I have six brothers and one sister (I am the second oldest), who are all still in Germany. My parents were both unfit parents, and my mother was very emotionally abusive. Every day she told me that I was useless, worthless, ugly, stupid and good for nothing, and naturally, I believed her, because you believe your own mother when you are little.
I was in constant pain, had no energy and was depressed by the time I was seven or eight. I also had very severe asthma.
I was bullied and hated by my classmates, and later coworkers for being different, but didn't know why I was different.
I went to Montreal, Canada in 1978 as a Nanny, where I met my husband. We got married in 1979 in Germany, and have lived in Canada ever since (my husband is Canadian, I am still a German citizen).
I have finally found out these past two years why I have had all the difficulties in life, and having such poor health. I was finally diagnosed last November (2004) with Tourette Syndrome, a month later with Asperger Syndrome (a form of High Functioning Autism), and two months ago with Celiac Disease.
Since being on a gluten free diet, starting in October, my health has steadily improved, but there is a long way to go.
My marriage was a nightmare from the start, for diverse reasons. When I got married I didn't realize that my husband was part of a very cultish church, which turned over the years more and more into a cult, were the leader had absolute control. My husband was severely brainwashed, and women were treated very badly in that church. We finally got out after 18 years (22 years for my husband), nine years ago.
My husband is an absolute control freak. He tries to control what I do, think and say, and how I should say it. And it's very hard to ever get him to approve of anything I do or say. He truly thinks he is perfect in every way. And if I don't see it now, I'll come around in the future to appreciate what a perfect husband he is.
And he controls himself as much as he controls others (he is driving our youngest daughter crazy). He NEVER raises his voice or gets angry (well, he gets angry, but only his eyes show it, which he denies).
I have been seeing a counsellor since the spring, because I was seriously suicidal then. I see him once a week, and it's quite helpful. Just getting out my stress and frustration helps.
I have, as most people with Asperger Syndrome, a very low tolerance for stress. When the stress overwhelms me, I get depressed. Things that won't even register as stressful with most people will completely overwhelm me, like going to a party (which I try to avoid for the most part), a family gathering, etc.
We have five children, four daughters, 25, 24, 20 and 14, and one son, 22. The three oldest are married. Our oldest daughter lives in Ottawa with her husband and four children, two girls, 5 and 3, and two boys, 3 and 1 (yes, twins). Our second daughter is married and is expecting her first baby in May. And our son and his wife live in the same town as us; our son is the youth pastor for our church, as well as right now taking long distance courses with Heritage College (a theological seminary), to get his degree in Theology, and his wife is working right now, but will study to be a pastry chef next fall for a year. The 20-year-old has finished her photography studies, and is working for a year, and wants to do a year with Youth with a Mission next year. The youngest is in grade 9.
There, that should be enough for starters.
I accepted an invitation by my friend Steve, who moderates the Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada Forum, and here I am.
I was born in 1953 in Hamburg, Germany, where I lived until I was 25. I have six brothers and one sister (I am the second oldest), who are all still in Germany. My parents were both unfit parents, and my mother was very emotionally abusive. Every day she told me that I was useless, worthless, ugly, stupid and good for nothing, and naturally, I believed her, because you believe your own mother when you are little.
I was in constant pain, had no energy and was depressed by the time I was seven or eight. I also had very severe asthma.
I was bullied and hated by my classmates, and later coworkers for being different, but didn't know why I was different.
I went to Montreal, Canada in 1978 as a Nanny, where I met my husband. We got married in 1979 in Germany, and have lived in Canada ever since (my husband is Canadian, I am still a German citizen).
I have finally found out these past two years why I have had all the difficulties in life, and having such poor health. I was finally diagnosed last November (2004) with Tourette Syndrome, a month later with Asperger Syndrome (a form of High Functioning Autism), and two months ago with Celiac Disease.
Since being on a gluten free diet, starting in October, my health has steadily improved, but there is a long way to go.
My marriage was a nightmare from the start, for diverse reasons. When I got married I didn't realize that my husband was part of a very cultish church, which turned over the years more and more into a cult, were the leader had absolute control. My husband was severely brainwashed, and women were treated very badly in that church. We finally got out after 18 years (22 years for my husband), nine years ago.
My husband is an absolute control freak. He tries to control what I do, think and say, and how I should say it. And it's very hard to ever get him to approve of anything I do or say. He truly thinks he is perfect in every way. And if I don't see it now, I'll come around in the future to appreciate what a perfect husband he is.
And he controls himself as much as he controls others (he is driving our youngest daughter crazy). He NEVER raises his voice or gets angry (well, he gets angry, but only his eyes show it, which he denies).
I have been seeing a counsellor since the spring, because I was seriously suicidal then. I see him once a week, and it's quite helpful. Just getting out my stress and frustration helps.
I have, as most people with Asperger Syndrome, a very low tolerance for stress. When the stress overwhelms me, I get depressed. Things that won't even register as stressful with most people will completely overwhelm me, like going to a party (which I try to avoid for the most part), a family gathering, etc.
We have five children, four daughters, 25, 24, 20 and 14, and one son, 22. The three oldest are married. Our oldest daughter lives in Ottawa with her husband and four children, two girls, 5 and 3, and two boys, 3 and 1 (yes, twins). Our second daughter is married and is expecting her first baby in May. And our son and his wife live in the same town as us; our son is the youth pastor for our church, as well as right now taking long distance courses with Heritage College (a theological seminary), to get his degree in Theology, and his wife is working right now, but will study to be a pastry chef next fall for a year. The 20-year-old has finished her photography studies, and is working for a year, and wants to do a year with Youth with a Mission next year. The youngest is in grade 9.
There, that should be enough for starters.
