Sorry again

[boi]

I just had to post again. I am going through a very hard time. I don't even like admitting that. I am coming to terms with a so-called sexual assault in my teens. I say so-called because I didn't know it was an assault of some sort.. I always thought it was my fault with what happened. This has triggered so much more in me. Not just that incident but two more incidents that were probably assaults. This is overwhelming for me. Just talking about it with my T opened up a huge new world (if that makes sense). I feel really strange, I have had suicidal thoughts and sexual responses which is really strange and upsetting. How do I get through this for the moment. I have had substance abuse problems in the past and I am so tempted. I don't know why these feelings are so strong. I don't want them to be. I feel like I am creating them. Just to clarify the suicidal thoughts are just thoughts. Kind of like OCD thoughts not real ones.

 

[J PTSD]

No sorry!

Can you call someone, or journal, and take deep breathes. Put some music on and dance around all silly like. Some distraction for the moment.
I like to walk my dog too, now the the weather is getting better.

I don't know some suggestions.

Hang on!!

 

[forgetmenot]

something to bring up with your therapist next time okay Let T know how triggering all this past stuff is and that you are having all these reactions Perhaps T is moving too fast right now and needs to slow things down a bit It is all becoming to overwhelming breath slow breaths and get grounded okay know where you are i often phone someone in the present time someone i did not know back then that sort of grounds me I hope you can call someone get out and do something to get your mind off of things hugs

 

[boi]

thanks J PTSD and Spirit,
I knew all this had to come up at some point but it was weird because I never expected it now. It just came up. I will def talk about it more with my T next time. I have to. This is a lot to deal with. I am trying to distract myself. When I'm alone I get obsessive thoughts and compulsions. If I am doing something its better. That's how I can describe it though. Overwhelming. Thanks both of you for your suggestions. I will keep busy and hopefully this will get less intense over the next couple of days. I am sure it will.

 

[Cat Dancer]

I'm sorry for what you're going through. It's very difficult to realize something is not what we thought it was. It sounds like you have a good therapist who can help you through this. Distracting yourself is good. That's what I try to do when I'm having those obsessive thoughts.

Hang in there.