I really need some advice...Although I know the underlying reasons for why I require my teenage son to follow certain rules, when he asks me "Why? - Don't you trust me?" I have a hard time answering and, at his age (14), I want to give him more than a "just because" answer.
One I'd like to specifically ask about: I tell him that he can't go to someone's house if their parents aren't home. He wants to know why. He is very mature for his age - but, I know that he doesn't have the ability to reliably use the best judgement...I understand all of the reasons...peer pressure + unsupervised free time = opportunity for trouble. But, I keep getting stuck on the addage "you get what you expect"...if I tell him that I don't want him to be at someone's house when their parents aren't there because he might get into trouble - does that make him more likely to fit my expectations and think of himself as someone who gets into trouble? I want him to know that I trust him as much as he has proven he can be trusted - but, that there is much more that he can understand. This is when he says "tell me...I can understand...or do you just not know the reason?"
So - basically - how can I satisfy his need to understand by explaining to him why I have the rule without making him think that I have no faith in his desire and attempts to make good choices.
