Hi Everyone,
I'm struggling to deal with dependency issues with my therapist. I had a traumatic childhood in alot of ways and had a difficult time with my mother in particular. There was a lack of affection and I was blamed for things that couldn't possibly have been my fault as a child. So I have grown up with this gap in my life where I crave that affection from someone. The therapist I have now is like a mother figure to me. She's about the same age as my mum and is really caring and really nice to me. She said that she really likes me and it felt so good to hear that. I never want to disappoint her, I don't want to say anything to make her stop liking me, I don't want her to be angry with me about anything. I feel like I want constant confirmation that she still likes me, that it hasn't changed. I'm terrified already about ending therapy, about her no longer being there for me. I live for the day that I see her, I wish my whole week away waiting for that appointment. It keeps me going to count down till the next time I see her. I can't imagine what I'm going to do when I can't see her anymore. I'm not seeing her privately so I have no choice about the end date. I am due to finish in November and it's constantly on my mind. I feel the longer I see her, the more attached I get. I don't want to lose her from my life but I know because of boundary issues that I won't be allowed to stay in touch or see her ever again. I can't deal with it. I know everyone is going to say that I should bring it up with her but I just can't. I don't want her to realise how attached I'm getting and back off because I so need her affection. But at the same time I know it's not really good for me.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of attachment/dependency with their therapist? And if so, how did you get over it/deal with it?
Thanks everyone,
Poss
I'm struggling to deal with dependency issues with my therapist. I had a traumatic childhood in alot of ways and had a difficult time with my mother in particular. There was a lack of affection and I was blamed for things that couldn't possibly have been my fault as a child. So I have grown up with this gap in my life where I crave that affection from someone. The therapist I have now is like a mother figure to me. She's about the same age as my mum and is really caring and really nice to me. She said that she really likes me and it felt so good to hear that. I never want to disappoint her, I don't want to say anything to make her stop liking me, I don't want her to be angry with me about anything. I feel like I want constant confirmation that she still likes me, that it hasn't changed. I'm terrified already about ending therapy, about her no longer being there for me. I live for the day that I see her, I wish my whole week away waiting for that appointment. It keeps me going to count down till the next time I see her. I can't imagine what I'm going to do when I can't see her anymore. I'm not seeing her privately so I have no choice about the end date. I am due to finish in November and it's constantly on my mind. I feel the longer I see her, the more attached I get. I don't want to lose her from my life but I know because of boundary issues that I won't be allowed to stay in touch or see her ever again. I can't deal with it. I know everyone is going to say that I should bring it up with her but I just can't. I don't want her to realise how attached I'm getting and back off because I so need her affection. But at the same time I know it's not really good for me.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of attachment/dependency with their therapist? And if so, how did you get over it/deal with it?
Thanks everyone,
Poss