Trying to commit changed me

[labyssum]

Since I tried to commit suicide a few times,
I think it really changed me.
Every day I think about dying & suicide.
Even when I'm happy.
I'm quite content at the moment, but
I still want to die.
I don't understand this...
I keep praying for death.
Is anyone the same?

 

[Retired]

Re: trying to commit changed me

Labyssum,

If you are having recurring thoughs of suicide, you need to find a way to keep yourself safe.

Please call a local crisis line, or mental health support facility. These people are there to help and will point you in the right direction for help in your area.

Have you ever spoken to your doctor, spiritual advisor or trusted family member or friend about your suicidal thoughts?

Are you currently taking medication?

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I also wonder: Are you currently seeing a therapist? Does your therapist know about how you feel?

 

[labyssum]

Yes. I am seeing a psychiatrist often. I told her about my thoughts and she said as long as I don't act on them, I'm ok...
I do have a crisis line number written on my refrigerator.

I haven't tried to commit suicide/harm myself in two years...So I think I'm doing ok. Just can't get that thought/feeling out of my head.:hissyfit:

 

[ladylore]

I know I frustrating it can be - and I do know. It does take a bit of work to get those thoughts and feelings out. The more therapy you have and work through what you need to, the thoughts will lessen in time.

Has she ever given you a list or had you make out a list of positive coping skills? If not, you may want to write down a list of that sort - so when those feeling/thoughts come up you will have something handy to refer to.

 

[labyssum]

No, my psychiatrist hasn't really helped me much with that.
She said distractions are good, like listening to music, or grounding myself, (becoming more aware of my feet on the ground and how my body feels.)
I'll talk to her more about this...I don't know if everyone who tries to commit suicide feels this way after or not...

 

[rosedragon]

How about finding a life purpose or getting into lots of social activities?
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are connected with feeling worthless.

 

[Daniel E.]

Yes. I am seeing a psychiatrist often.

Yeah, but I would see a therapist, too, since there is a whole framework of negative thinking involved. And one can't underestimate secondary factors contributing to depression like lack of socialization, unemployment (or lack of engagement), activity level, etc., which a therpist is more experienced at addressing than most psychiatrists. In my experience with depression and suicidal thinking, it's these so-called secondary factors that I tend to ignore because I tend to overintellectualize and try to rationalize my depression, which is why I find therapy so helpful and grounding.

 

[ladylore]

Yeah, but I would see a therapist, too, since there is a whole framework of negative thinking involved. And one can't underestimate secondary factors contributing to depression like lack of socialization, unemployment (or lack of engagement), activity level, etc., which a therpist is more experienced at addressing than most psychiatrists. In my experience with depression and suicidal thinking, it's these so-called secondary factors that I tend to ignore because I tend to overintellectualize and try to rationalize my depression, which is why I find therapy so helpful.

I agree with Daniel. Psychiatrists are good but therpists do have a social framwork that can put things into greater perspective. :goodpost:

 

[labyssum]

How about finding a life purpose or getting into lots of social activities?
Suicide and suicidal thoughts are connected with feeling worthless.

I don't really have a life purpose anymore...I used to think I did.
I do go to groups and see friends often though.
/
I will maybe ask about seeing a therapist.
Thanks for the replies!