Hi and I am new here as well. Life has been throwing me bits and pieces of life lately so am trying to learn how to live again. Hope this site can help me with my fears of trying to live again. Thank you Everyone
Husband had cancer in 2004 by 2012 his COPD took over and by 2016 he died . We were together for 36 years. Grown children busy in their own lives and have not much time left for anything else like me. When they were at home i homeschooled them as well. Lots of grudges or anger in family so am learning to cope with being a widow with grown children who have begun their own lives. He died and seemed to take me with him so i have been struggling with loneliness.Do not know what i would enjoy doing have had to work full time to support myself so am learning how to be self sufficient but i work alot . Mainly its the depressing loneliness.
Hi Shelda nice to meet you. I hear you loneliness is so hard to deal with and sometimes work does help but what does one do when they are home on their own. Have you reached out to neighbors or old friends to reconnect with them. Sometime i just go for a walk in a mall and just being around people helps talking to someone at Tim Hortons or grocery store breaks up the lonely times.
I have this week gone out 3 times to see my family and i'm still alone..tried to see if it would help but after all i have been through the feelings for them are not the same any longer. Guess you can only stomp on people's heart so many times. There was a time not long ago i would have jumped through hoops to be with these people,now i do not care as much. Plus they always have something to say that hurts me and i have learned to not have an opinion any more . When i am with them i try and be just cordial now. Never thought i would ever feel this way about my grown children. Still love them and their basic personality but the anger they had for me right after their father my husband was terminal and then his death well i have changed.
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I have contemplated this stuff as well as joining clubs like bowling etc...but most nights when i am done work i am exhausted so will see. But Thank you
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My old friends live in the other side of Canada due to us moving here 32 years ago and i was at home with our children.Probably should have gotten a job and placed them in day care but it is what it is.
Sometimes just being more aware of the benefits of what you are already doing can help -- or doing more of what is already helping to some degree (a solution-focused approach). For example, if you like to read:
Something else that doesn't require much energy is a meditation class. Here, the local hospital and other organizations have them regularly as well as other classes/groups. I went to one meditation class by the hospital to learn meditative breathing and was so relaxed afterwards.