When you know you are losing it

[Ashley-Kate]

hello,
about 2 or 3 weeks ago i noticed that my behaviors that were more along the lines of bulimia were slowly decreasing and i was really happy cause i thought of that as a positive aspect but as my purging was becoming less present i was reducing enormously my food consumption to have completely ceased and i am quite worried to say the truth cause as i know my anorexic behaviors to me are very uncontrollable and as i fall into the patterns i feel that as many girls do the more you lose of weight the more you are losing the battle but the more you feel in control and i don't know how to break it and i am using my only moments of lucidity to say this because i feel i am already gone but i just hope some words of wisdom can catch me in my downfall.. cause at the moment i truly hesitate on what my true identity is , Ashley-Kate or anorexia .. i am scared and lost all at the same time
yours truly Ashley

 

[Cat Dancer]

Re: when you know youare losing it

I know it's hard to believe, but you are not this disease. You are suffering from it, struggling with it, but it is not you and you are not it. With a lot of hard, hard work and therapy you can get better, a day at a time.

This article is a good one:

I am more than this disorder

:hug:

 

[ThatLady]

Janet's right, Ashley. You are you. The disease is the disease. The two of you are not the same.