When your therapist is going through a rough time

[ladylore]

What do you do?

One of my therapist's has been going through her own stuff over the past 4 months. It got better for a bit and now its back. She has shared a bit with me because she does like her longer term clients to know that she may not be up to her usual standards.

I really feel for her both as a client but more as a human being. I want to help her out but because I am a client there are limitations. I'm concerned for her because she really is a good person and I quite like her.

Thank goodness I also have a trauma therapist too.

But what do you do when your own therapist is having a tough time too? Any thoughts?

 

[Halo]

LL,

I personally think that it is good that she has let you know that she is dealing with some personal issues of her own. I think this for two reasons. First because it shows that she is a human being with a life outside the therapy walls and has her own struggles just like everyone else and second that it gives the client the heads up that she may not be working up to her full capabilities which can be comforting for the client to know ahead of time.

As for what to do, to be honest I don't think there is much you can do. I know that you care about her being your therapist and all but given that there are professional boundaries that shouldn't be crossed, you just have to hope that she has a good support system in place much as you do and that she herself will work through her issues as you have been doing. In my opinion, the only real thing that you can do for her right now is continue on your journey all the while keeping her in your thoughts and heart.

 

[Retired]

The first thing that comes to my mind is the appropriateness of a therapist looking for support from clients.

Though I appreciate a therapist wanting to give her clients a heads up that she may not be working at 100% efficiency, I wonder of relating personal issues places undue pressure on the client.

 

[Halo]

I understand what you are saying Steve and that was my first thought as well but when I re-read Ladylore's post I noticed this part in particular:

She has shared a bit with me because she does like her longer term clients to know that she may not be up to her usual standards.

To me it doesn't sound like the therapist is relating a lot of information but just the fact that she is dealing with some personal issues of her own and wants to alert her clients that she may not be functioning at 100%.

Although I completely agree with you Steve that relating specific personal issues that the therapist is dealing with can under some circumstances place undue pressure on the client.

 

[ladylore]

Thanks Halo and Steve,

This is the way they work at Addiction Services. The staff want to let the clients know that everyone goes through hard times and that no one is perfect - not even them.

What is hard is that I really do like her. She is the one that helped me the most when I was first in recovery. The counsellor in my wants to jump right in and help her out.

It is appropriate Steve as in no lines have been crossed. You are right in that I do need to watch that I don't become emeshed with this. I use to be the peacemaker in all situations, trying to fix things so that I was safe.

:hug:

 

[Into The Light]

i don't think there is anything you can or even should do, other than be forgiving if she misses a beat here or there in therapy with you.

 

[ladylore]

Thank you ITL. Its a good reminder to keep the boundaries strong.

 

[Halo]

You are right in that I do need to watch that I don't become emeshed with this. I use to be the peacemaker in all situations, trying to fix things so that I was safe.

I think that as long as you are aware of this and keep it in check then you should be okay.

:hug: :hug: