Why cry when you should smile?

[shadow25]

This is really strange to me. Today I got great news from biology teacher that I got an A. But for some strange reason, I felt like crying instead of happy. I worked all year to get an A and mostly got B's. It disappointed me everytime to see my reportcard with a B even though I try my best. Other's would be more than happy to have an A, but I guess it's because the way my teacher told me.

He's the kind of teacher that' not afraid to tell the students he like (the A-A+ students) how he feels about them, like for hate. I was around the B students so I was really ignored. Also there is another person in my class who has the same name as me but she is more of a bad girl and he pays attention to here more, even when she's getting an F. Today he listed out teh names who has an A and when I didn't hear my name called, I was sad. Then my friend yelled out to him about what my grade is and he said, "Oh, yeah she got a A too." My friend was overjoyed with my grade, but I felt like I want to put my head down and cry.
It's bad enough fo rhim to ignore me but whenhe told me that, all I could think was my family's reaction. I used to be an A+ student but this year I actually got an F on AP HISTORY and that just crushed my family's expectations on me. Just thinking about how I finally got an A and my family not being happy for me about it, it hurts a lot.

It's even more worst when my older brother and younger sister runs home and brags about their perfect scores on smaller tests. My mother was always overjoyed about that and brags to my other family. She never brags about my grade or about me any more. Even though it's not about my grades, I just want to be cared again. Not hidden. but I can't.

 

[shadow25]

This is really strange to me. Today I got great news from biology teacher that I got an A. But for some strange reason, I felt like crying instead of happy. I worked all year to get an A and mostly got B's. It disappointed me everytime to see my reportcard with a B even though I try my best. Other's would be more than happy to have an A, but I guess it's because the way my teacher told me.

He's the kind of teacher that' not afraid to tell the students he like (the A-A+ students) how he feels about them, like for hate. I was around the B students so I was really ignored. Also there is another person in my class who has the same name as me but she is more of a bad girl and he pays attention to here more, even when she's getting an F. Today he listed out teh names who has an A and when I didn't hear my name called, I was sad. Then my friend yelled out to him about what my grade is and he said, "Oh, yeah she got a A too." My friend was overjoyed with my grade, but I felt like I want to put my head down and cry.
It's bad enough fo rhim to ignore me but whenhe told me that, all I could think was my family's reaction. I used to be an A+ student but this year I actually got an F on AP HISTORY and that just crushed my family's expectations on me. Just thinking about how I finally got an A and my family not being happy for me about it, it hurts a lot.

It's even more worst when my older brother and younger sister runs home and brags about their perfect scores on smaller tests. My mother was always overjoyed about that and brags to my other family. She never brags about my grade or about me any more. Even though it's not about my grades, I just want to be cared again. Not hidden. but I can't.

 

[Daniel E.]

Even though it's not about my grades, I just want to be cared again.

Though it would be difficult for you, have you considered telling your mom or dad how you feel? Would it help if you spent more time with your mom or dad, such as talking with them more, asking more often how they are doing or how was their day, etc.? Would you get more attention if you did more chores around the house or do you feel you do too much already?

 

[Daniel E.]

Even though it's not about my grades, I just want to be cared again.

Though it would be difficult for you, have you considered telling your mom or dad how you feel? Would it help if you spent more time with your mom or dad, such as talking with them more, asking more often how they are doing or how was their day, etc.? Would you get more attention if you did more chores around the house or do you feel you do too much already?

 

[shadow25]

I uderstand what you're telling me and yes, I do talk to them, but even though we talk together a lot about our days and work, I just can't get to talk to them about my types of feelings like that. Mostly because if I do, they would just go back to the lectures of why I got the bad grades in the forst place, explaining why I am to blame. And if I try to talk back and defend myself, they would start saying how I hate them and not care for them even when they are just trying to 'help' me, making me feel very guilty. It silences me. I just can't handle that a lot, because when I felt them close up at me with guilt, I can't hold my tears.

 

[shadow25]

I uderstand what you're telling me and yes, I do talk to them, but even though we talk together a lot about our days and work, I just can't get to talk to them about my types of feelings like that. Mostly because if I do, they would just go back to the lectures of why I got the bad grades in the forst place, explaining why I am to blame. And if I try to talk back and defend myself, they would start saying how I hate them and not care for them even when they are just trying to 'help' me, making me feel very guilty. It silences me. I just can't handle that a lot, because when I felt them close up at me with guilt, I can't hold my tears.

 

[Daniel E.]

...And if I try to talk back and defend myself, they would start saying how I hate them and not care for them even when they are just trying to 'help' me, making me feel very guilty.

Unfortunately, such an emotionally-laden conversation about grades (which usually has some degree of miscommunication) seems common among teenagers and parents. Also, many parents are emotionally anxious about grades, not just concerned, especially if a scholarship is at stake. In some situations, the student may be more rational than the parents.

If you are trying your best regarding school now, there is nothing more you can do about the grade situation other than get a tutor, etc. You may have to learn to live with less parental praise, I don't know. Seeing a school counselor could only help.

from
"The Pressure Of Making The Grade & Parental Praise":

...His father had told him that if he didn't get into a certain school, he would disown his only son...

The only advice I could give him was that if he was doing the best he could, that is all that anyone could ask of him. To ask for anything more would be virtually impossible. I tried to keep reassuring him that although parents want the best for their children and encourage them to do well, there has to be a point in which the pressure not to fail consumes a person's mind a lot more than just doing your best to achieve greatness. I told him to concentrate and set his mind on doing the best he could and giving all he can in everything he does, and he is the only one who knows what that is. If at the end of the day he could say, "That's all I could possibly do", then nobody can ever say anything more to him about it, that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and that he has not disappointed the only person that really matters: himself.

You may also want to read online articles about "parental pressure" & grades.

 

[Daniel E.]

...And if I try to talk back and defend myself, they would start saying how I hate them and not care for them even when they are just trying to 'help' me, making me feel very guilty.

Unfortunately, such an emotionally-laden conversation about grades (which usually has some degree of miscommunication) seems common among teenagers and parents. Also, many parents are emotionally anxious about grades, not just concerned, especially if a scholarship is at stake. In some situations, the student may be more rational than the parents.

If you are trying your best regarding school now, there is nothing more you can do about the grade situation other than get a tutor, etc. You may have to learn to live with less parental praise, I don't know. Seeing a school counselor could only help.

from
"The Pressure Of Making The Grade & Parental Praise":

...His father had told him that if he didn't get into a certain school, he would disown his only son...

The only advice I could give him was that if he was doing the best he could, that is all that anyone could ask of him. To ask for anything more would be virtually impossible. I tried to keep reassuring him that although parents want the best for their children and encourage them to do well, there has to be a point in which the pressure not to fail consumes a person's mind a lot more than just doing your best to achieve greatness. I told him to concentrate and set his mind on doing the best he could and giving all he can in everything he does, and he is the only one who knows what that is. If at the end of the day he could say, "That's all I could possibly do", then nobody can ever say anything more to him about it, that he had nothing to be ashamed of, and that he has not disappointed the only person that really matters: himself.

You may also want to read online articles about "parental pressure" & grades.