- Thread starter gooblax
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Sorry Gooblax - hijacking your thread a little...
:hug:
Ryan Howes:
Thank you. This forum has been a real saving grace for many of us. So the accepted motto is "we lean when we need to and give back when we can". Many good hearts here on the forum.
And I agree with your idea of going to therapy even when we're feeling better. It does lend more easily to the constructive work and for me at least, I'm more prepared to listen and less likely to get defensive or feel that I'm being criticized.
It's sometimes easy to lull ourselves into the belief, when we're feeling good, that we no longer need the support - only to keep on with the same patterns that have brought us there in the first place.
:hug:Ryan Howes:
Thank you. This forum has been a real saving grace for many of us. So the accepted motto is "we lean when we need to and give back when we can". Many good hearts here on the forum.
And I agree with your idea of going to therapy even when we're feeling better. It does lend more easily to the constructive work and for me at least, I'm more prepared to listen and less likely to get defensive or feel that I'm being criticized.
It's sometimes easy to lull ourselves into the belief, when we're feeling good, that we no longer need the support - only to keep on with the same patterns that have brought us there in the first place.
texasgirl
MVP
I sincerely hope that you are able to move ahead with seeking more frequent therapy as folks have said here. Take care!
TG:friends:
TG:friends:
Into The Light
MVP
you bring up some very interesting points, ryan. in particular the bit about as soon as people feel good they think they're done therapy. i've struggled with this recently as i seem to have leapt forward in how i feel, which of course is great but it also caused me a lot of confusion about whether i needed to continue therapy or not. for the moment i am sticking with it but i still have a lot of times where i think why bother/that i just want attention and should just get over it (critical negative self-talk or what? )
this stood out to me and i think is a very valid point. having recovered from very serious depression i am now able to handle the deeper issues which before might just have been too hard to face.
)this stood out to me and i think is a very valid point. having recovered from very serious depression i am now able to handle the deeper issues which before might just have been too hard to face.
gooblax
MVP
I always seem to come back to this point. This time I haven't seen my therapist for a while because I have to get paperwork from my doctor again... and I've let that be an excuse for reconsidering whether or not I should continue with therapy.
A helpline counsellor recently suggested that the rational test for this would be to ask myself if I'd have continued seeing him if this paperwork wasn't an issue. That makes sense... to an extent. There's just more to it than that.
- I don't deserve to talk to my T.
- I don't have anything to talk about with him. It would all be repeated nonsense that wasn't even important enough to mention the first time, let alone the 3 millionth.
- I still "need" my mum to make the Dr's appointment and take me to/from it, then make the appointment with my T. I see that as weakness and therefore punishable... and the equivalent punishment is obvious in this case: disallow appointments.
With my mum going overseas for a week, I can't do much about it for now anyway, but I'm going to have to decide one way or the other at some point.
A helpline counsellor recently suggested that the rational test for this would be to ask myself if I'd have continued seeing him if this paperwork wasn't an issue. That makes sense... to an extent. There's just more to it than that.
- I don't deserve to talk to my T.
- I don't have anything to talk about with him. It would all be repeated nonsense that wasn't even important enough to mention the first time, let alone the 3 millionth.
- I still "need" my mum to make the Dr's appointment and take me to/from it, then make the appointment with my T. I see that as weakness and therefore punishable... and the equivalent punishment is obvious in this case: disallow appointments.
With my mum going overseas for a week, I can't do much about it for now anyway, but I'm going to have to decide one way or the other at some point.
...I still hear you dismissing yourself G.
And yes, you do always come back to this point. Which suggests to me that you still need so have some therapy to change some thinking patterns. I struggle with my thinking patterns too G. And even though it would be awfully tempting to stop the therapy (particularly when I invalidate my thoughts and feelings) I force myself to go because I appreciate that my judgment isn't where it should be...
You are where you are G. Try not to think ahead about where you should be. Just because you feel or think these things, doesn't mean that you need to be punished. It just means that you're struggling a little right now - and that's really ok Gooblax.
Can you try and counter, in your mind, some of these thoughts? For instance,
This would become: I still need to talk to him because, even though we've already discussed this in the past, it's still bothering me. Therefore, it is important.
We're all here for you G. I hope that you will continue with your psychologist. In the meantime, I'm happy you told us what was bothering you. :hug: :hug:
And yes, you do always come back to this point. Which suggests to me that you still need so have some therapy to change some thinking patterns. I struggle with my thinking patterns too G. And even though it would be awfully tempting to stop the therapy (particularly when I invalidate my thoughts and feelings) I force myself to go because I appreciate that my judgment isn't where it should be...
You are where you are G. Try not to think ahead about where you should be. Just because you feel or think these things, doesn't mean that you need to be punished. It just means that you're struggling a little right now - and that's really ok Gooblax.
Can you try and counter, in your mind, some of these thoughts? For instance,
This would become: I still need to talk to him because, even though we've already discussed this in the past, it's still bothering me. Therefore, it is important.
We're all here for you G. I hope that you will continue with your psychologist. In the meantime, I'm happy you told us what was bothering you.
:hug: :hug:white page
Member
Gooblax,
The fact you feel that you don't deserve to talk to your therapist , means that you should talk to him about this , have you discussed this feeling with him . ?
What you have to say is important , and saying it over is important too , by voicing your thoughts you can define ,clarify and crystallize them ; at times this takes many tries , and it helps the therapist to understand the issues which are most troubling you .
It is certainly not a weakness needing some one to take us places . Or make appointments for us . I would talk to your therapist about how you feel about that too . You deserve all the good things that can come to you , you deserve to be cared for and recieve treatment for your hurts physical and mental .
Take care WP
The fact you feel that you don't deserve to talk to your therapist , means that you should talk to him about this , have you discussed this feeling with him . ?
What you have to say is important , and saying it over is important too , by voicing your thoughts you can define ,clarify and crystallize them ; at times this takes many tries , and it helps the therapist to understand the issues which are most troubling you .
It is certainly not a weakness needing some one to take us places . Or make appointments for us . I would talk to your therapist about how you feel about that too . You deserve all the good things that can come to you , you deserve to be cared for and recieve treatment for your hurts physical and mental .
Take care WP
gooblax
MVP
Thanks for the replies J and WP.
I have to dismiss myself because that's just how it has to be. Self-acceptance is allowed for people who are not me.
I can see how it might be helpful to believe otherwise, but I don't. For me it is bad, pathetic, weak... all of it.
I have to dismiss myself because that's just how it has to be. Self-acceptance is allowed for people who are not me.
I can see how it might be helpful to believe otherwise, but I don't. For me it is bad, pathetic, weak... all of it.
What brings you to this thought process Gooblax? I can't only be that 'it's how it has to be'.
If we turned this posting around and it were me posting this way - would you leave me with this thought process? Would you agree with me that I'm not entitled to self-acceptance and empathy? Would you agree with me when I said that I was weak, bad and pathetic? I don't think that you would because you wouldn't agree with me. I don't think this is how you view me. And that's certainly not how I view you Gooblax. I've never viewed you as bad, pathetic and weak... :hug: :hug: :hug:
white page
Member
Gooblax ,
I agree a 1000% with Jazzey , I couldn't have said it any better .:hug::hug::hug::flowers:
I agree a 1000% with Jazzey , I couldn't have said it any better .:hug::hug::hug::flowers:
gooblax
MVP
I'm sorry, but there's a huge difference between the 2 scenarios.
gooblax
MVP
Maybe I can try to accept that as true... maybe.
Thanks J and WP. :hug:
Thanks J and WP. :hug:
forgetmenot
MVP
Hie Gooblax i agree with Jazzey totally please take care you are so important and helpful. Getting help from your therapist on this thought process is important best wishes mary
Dear Gooblax, I know this is not quite what you are referring to but I am curious because a number of people have posted about not continuing therapy. I consider that I will need to see my doctor and my dentist for the rest of my life, sometimes more often and sometimes less often. Is there any reason I should not consider therapy / counseling for the rest of my life? :think: Mari
Ryan Howes
Member
Mari, I think this is a great question. We have long-term professional relationships with physicians, dentists, accountants, clergy, barbers/hairdressers, mechanics, etc. Why not have a long-term professional relationship with a therapist (or various therapists)?
I must admit a blatant professional bias: long-term therapy is my career. But even if it didn't pay my bills, it would seem that regular contact with a mental health professional is a good idea. At the very least, to have a record of emotional and cognitive status to mark significant changes. Even more ideal would be a long association with a trusted, objective, knowledgeable outsider who can lend perspective during life's challenging developmental speedbumps.
Objections to a lifelong mental health relationship would likely include financial strain, social stigma or fears of dependency. I could debate against each point, but then my bias would really come through.
I must admit a blatant professional bias: long-term therapy is my career. But even if it didn't pay my bills, it would seem that regular contact with a mental health professional is a good idea. At the very least, to have a record of emotional and cognitive status to mark significant changes. Even more ideal would be a long association with a trusted, objective, knowledgeable outsider who can lend perspective during life's challenging developmental speedbumps.
Objections to a lifelong mental health relationship would likely include financial strain, social stigma or fears of dependency. I could debate against each point, but then my bias would really come through.
gooblax
MVP
Ugh. Ok, so today I had the appointment with my GP about filling out the Medicare forms for the subsidised counselling sessions. Apparently, my psychologist had not sent his review form thingy in yet. So my doctor doesn't want to fill anything out until she reads this thing from my psych. And I won't know when she's filled it out, because I won't have a copy of it since she didn't do it then and there. I'm going to have to email my psych about sending the review, sometime, I guess, maybe.
Then the receptionist at the dr's office made fun of my signature. Yes, it looks like a squiggle someone makes when they're testing their pen. Yes, anyone able to hold a pen would be able to forge it if they so desired. No, I am not going to sit around thinking of ways to change it just because it's "no good" to her. I know it was intended as a joke, but of course being ten billion times too sensitive to criticism doesn't help.
Sick of this BS.
Then the receptionist at the dr's office made fun of my signature. Yes, it looks like a squiggle someone makes when they're testing their pen. Yes, anyone able to hold a pen would be able to forge it if they so desired. No, I am not going to sit around thinking of ways to change it just because it's "no good" to her. I know it was intended as a joke, but of course being ten billion times too sensitive to criticism doesn't help.
Sick of this BS.
HBas
Member
STRONGLY AGREE ... That can actually help more than you think cause you can read it at a later stage and see whether you REALLY resoved all your issues or paybe just suppressed them!
I'm thinking of you!
Budoaiki
MVP
Well cutting through the red tape takes time and if you have to remind them to do it so be it. Maybe ask your therapist to pass along a note to your doctor to contact you once the required forms have been filled out in the e-mail.
I know my own doctor's office is pretty slow with paperwork and most of them are overworked because they have too many patients thanks to an underfunded medical system.
I get pretty frustrated with it myself sometimes, the fact that I have to check up on the people who do checks ups but it's about your well being and that is worth any amount of effort.
And as for the secretary some people try to break their own tension with a joke to set themselves or others at ease which can backfire as you obviously know hopefully she learned something from it.
I know my own doctor's office is pretty slow with paperwork and most of them are overworked because they have too many patients thanks to an underfunded medical system.
I get pretty frustrated with it myself sometimes, the fact that I have to check up on the people who do checks ups but it's about your well being and that is worth any amount of effort.
And as for the secretary some people try to break their own tension with a joke to set themselves or others at ease which can backfire as you obviously know hopefully she learned something from it.
forgetmenot
MVP
I can relate to your frustration, Gooblax. Forms, uh-huh, still waiting on one myself from the psychiatrist's office, but I agree with Budoaiki - it is something worth pushing on for as it will help you in the end. Take care, Gooblax.
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