This is something I did for myself a long time ago, I also showed it to my girlfriend who has used it to deal with some negative past and focus on the future.
Step one.
Take some time out to think about your life going forward from this day. Using a notepad wirte down a list of Standards of behaviour. Standards that you expect from yourself and Standards that you will insist people live up to with you.
For example:
I will not allow others to put me down in order to make themselves feel good.
I will not let the actions of others negatively change how I feel about myself.
I expect love from my partner and I will love my partner
I will look forward and not dwell in the past
My opinions and viewpoints are as valid and anyone elses
I don't want to put too many examples becuase the point is they must be personal to you and can focus on whatever you want. A lot of my girlfriend's standards addressed way in which people had mistreated her in the past. Most of mine were focussed on how I had missed opportunites by letting other people walk over me.
The standards must be writen as if they are already true (no matter how unlikey they feel) no *I will try* or *I hope that* they must me *I will* and *I do*
That first step in its self is very useful.
With my girlfriend I thought up an additional step.
I went out and bought her a medium size mirror and a pack of multicolour "any surface" marker pens. And I asked her to write the standards on the mirror in anyway she liked (I also bought an eraser pen so they can be changed and edited when ever she wanted). The Mirror was going to be somehting she could hide away and keep private.
But when I came home it was hung proudly on our bedroom wall.
She had done it beautifully, she had drawn a big butterfly in the middle (which has a special meaning for her) on one wing was written "I am loved" and the other "I give love" and then the standards were written all around the edge of the mirror with little heart shaped bullet points.
It really is amazing, I would love to post a picture but it wouldn't be right becuase it is very personal.
SO with this new mirror every morning as she looks at herself in it she reads the standards and affirmations and the same every night.
Hope this helps someone.
Step one.
Take some time out to think about your life going forward from this day. Using a notepad wirte down a list of Standards of behaviour. Standards that you expect from yourself and Standards that you will insist people live up to with you.
For example:
I will not allow others to put me down in order to make themselves feel good.
I will not let the actions of others negatively change how I feel about myself.
I expect love from my partner and I will love my partner
I will look forward and not dwell in the past
My opinions and viewpoints are as valid and anyone elses
I don't want to put too many examples becuase the point is they must be personal to you and can focus on whatever you want. A lot of my girlfriend's standards addressed way in which people had mistreated her in the past. Most of mine were focussed on how I had missed opportunites by letting other people walk over me.
The standards must be writen as if they are already true (no matter how unlikey they feel) no *I will try* or *I hope that* they must me *I will* and *I do*
That first step in its self is very useful.
With my girlfriend I thought up an additional step.
I went out and bought her a medium size mirror and a pack of multicolour "any surface" marker pens. And I asked her to write the standards on the mirror in anyway she liked (I also bought an eraser pen so they can be changed and edited when ever she wanted). The Mirror was going to be somehting she could hide away and keep private.
But when I came home it was hung proudly on our bedroom wall.
She had done it beautifully, she had drawn a big butterfly in the middle (which has a special meaning for her) on one wing was written "I am loved" and the other "I give love" and then the standards were written all around the edge of the mirror with little heart shaped bullet points.
It really is amazing, I would love to post a picture but it wouldn't be right becuase it is very personal.
SO with this new mirror every morning as she looks at herself in it she reads the standards and affirmations and the same every night.
Hope this helps someone.
