A close one

[boi]

I almost relapsed today. I have been depressed and I am not able to express my feelings at all. I think everything bottled up is getting to me. I just dont know how to express anything. I was so close to getting high. I got talked out of it. I am still obsessing. I hope it passes.

 

[ladylore]

Re: a close one

It will pass Boi.

What plans do have for yourself today? Even if you don't go to 12 step meetings you may want to go to one anyways just to be around people. It might help.

Oh yes, and if you can find a meeting with a cake celebration even better.

 

[boi]

Re: a close one

thanks LL
I just thought I'd post to maybe feel better. thanks for your suggestions. I will be fine. I guess its just a little hard right now

 

[ladylore]

Re: a close one

Sounds like it.
Remember the support forum too Boi. And how hard you have worked to get to where you are. You can do this. Keep checking in, someone will be around.

 

[white page]

Re: a close one

Sounds like it.
Remember the support forum too Boi. And how hard you have worked to get to where you are. You can do this. Keep checking in, someone will be around.

Ditto , come here for support and to communicate as LL says there will be someone here for you .:hug:

 

[Jazzey]

Right here boi. And I understand the temptation....And I hope that when those urges come to you, that you'll remember all the hard work you've put in so far and why it is you don't do that anymore...While escapism is really tempting we all know it's only ever temporary. And the backlash from it is far worst than that momentary escape.

But we're all right here for you. :hug: :hug:

 

[Halo]

Hi Boi,

I hope that the urge has passed and you are being gentle with yourself. Just to let you know that I can relate to what you are going through.

Take care and hope to hear from you soon

 

[Into The Light]

when do you see your therapist next, boi? can you hang just until the next appointment somehow so you can get some relief? what if you wrote about some of what you are going through, just to get it out of your system somewhat? you don't necessarily have to give it to your therapist, it's the writing in itself that can be therapeutic.

 

[boi]

ITL, my next appointment is about 2 weeks away. I will hang on. I am trying to distract myself and my own thoughts. I am nervous to write down things. I dont like the idea of something being on paper. permanent.
if I could just burn it after..

 

[Halo]

If you think not having it down permanently will work then I say go for it and then burn it afterwards...poof its gone!

Or going into either Word or Wordperfect and typing it all out and then not saving it...poof its gone!

Or act as if you are starting a new thread here and type away but don't hit submit post just delete your writing....poof its gone!

Oh so many ways to get rid of things and Boi just for the record, I have done them all

Take care

 

[boi]

If you think not having it down permanently will work then I say go for it and then burn it afterwards...poof its gone!

Or going into either Word or Wordperfect and typing it all out and then not saving it...poof its gone!

Or act as if you are starting a new thread here and type away but don't hit submit post just delete your writing....poof its gone!

Oh so many ways to get rid of things and Boi just for the record, I have done them all

Take care

thanks Halo...very good ideas...I didnt even think of those. I think I might try it..scary but maybe...

 

[Halo]

Your welcome, Boi

 

[Into The Light]

do you normally wait 2 weeks for your appointments? maybe it would be an option to go to weekly? i have been going weekly for quite some time now and even when not in crisis i find i need the weekly sessions. it makes the wait a lot easier. i am suggesting this to you because you are in pain right now and why suffer longer than necessary.

you could even try and see if they could schedule you in for some time next week somehow, by putting yourself on the cancellation list - if someone else cancels, then you could get their slot.

i love those ideas halo, great suggestions :goodjob:

 

[forgetmenot]

take care Boi thinking of you and hope you hang in there strong you can do it you have worked so hard best wishes mary

 

[boi]

you could even try and see if they could schedule you in for some time next week somehow, by putting yourself on the cancellation list - if someone else cancels, then you could get their slot.

hey ITL,
I know what you are saying. I feel like I am taking up too much of the T's time if I went weekly. Like maybe I dont really need it and Im making a bigger deal then what it really is. maybe Ill ask her first instead of just making an appointment.

 

[amastie]

Hi boi :support:
At such times, I write a list - even just one or two things - that I would like to do - and see if I can bring myself to do them even if very very slowly
Take care

 

[Into The Light]

boi, i understand. maybe you could call up and discuss this with her on the phone? but i understand if you don't feel ok with that yet.

you know, therapists don't mind giving you more support this is the profession they have chosen. i've at times had to see my therapist twice a week + have calls throughout the week to get through some rough times. i felt a bit awkward too and that maybe i was needing to much, that it would bother her. but she has reassured me every single time that this is what she is there for and she would much rather have me get the support and help than let things get worse for me because i try to tough it out until a week later. nipping things in the bud is what it's all about.

so i understand your worry but at the same time i want to let you know that it is highly unlikely that your therapist will feel that way. :goodjob: