David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
A Good Marriage is the Enemy of a Great Marriage
by Corey, Simple Marriage Blog
January 5, 2010
The beginning of a new year usually includes time to dream and plan. This time can even be used to begin creating a great marriage.
When asked, most everyone will state that they want a great life ? a great marriage ? a great job. This is natural. It?s almost universal.
It?s an entirely different thing however to actually attain it.
The reason is simple.
Good is the enemy of great.
This also applies to marriage. A good marriage is the enemy of a great marriage.
This is why so many people wait to work on their relationship until something?s gone wrong. It?s why couples delay an average of six years after a problem occurs before they seek out professional help.
When things are good, it?s hard to find the motivation to make things great. After all, you risk screwing up the good in the process. But the problem with settling for good, at least in my opinion, is good only satisfies for so long.
So how do you move from good to great?
It doesn?t happen by chance. It takes effort. But the nice thing is, your spouse doesn?t necessarily have to be on the same page for you to be able to create a great marriage. Granted, they will have to come around eventually, but you can start without them.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
by Corey, Simple Marriage Blog
January 5, 2010
The beginning of a new year usually includes time to dream and plan. This time can even be used to begin creating a great marriage.
When asked, most everyone will state that they want a great life ? a great marriage ? a great job. This is natural. It?s almost universal.
It?s an entirely different thing however to actually attain it.
The reason is simple.
Good is the enemy of great.
This also applies to marriage. A good marriage is the enemy of a great marriage.
This is why so many people wait to work on their relationship until something?s gone wrong. It?s why couples delay an average of six years after a problem occurs before they seek out professional help.
When things are good, it?s hard to find the motivation to make things great. After all, you risk screwing up the good in the process. But the problem with settling for good, at least in my opinion, is good only satisfies for so long.
So how do you move from good to great?
It doesn?t happen by chance. It takes effort. But the nice thing is, your spouse doesn?t necessarily have to be on the same page for you to be able to create a great marriage. Granted, they will have to come around eventually, but you can start without them.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Read books. There are some tremendous resources that will help improve your relationship and life. While many of the books shouldn?t be taken hook, line, and sinker, there are usually some great nuggets and ideas that can be applied to your situation.
- Read blogs. You obviously already have a jump on many people because you?re reading Simple Marriage. But there are many other great sites that will help as well (here?s a list of 20, plus you can check out the ones on this top 10 list). The greatest thing about blogs is you can do more than just read, you can join in discussions with other readers in the comments or you can join a community and talk over life and marriage more.
- Disconnect and connect. There are many people who believe in the power of the ?date nights.? I like the idea as well, although I will add that you don?t have to find babysitters, get out of the house and go somewhere together. Steal time together after the kids go to bed. Play a game. Watch a movie. Head to the bedroom and lock the door. Whatever you do, do it together. No phone. No work. No kids. You can find time to connect at home if you look for it.
- Find a marriage retreat or seminar. There are many churches and organizations that offer marriage retreats or seminars. I?ve been to several. Some are good, some are not. But like the marriage and relationship books out there, all of them have some nuggets to offer. If nothing else, you get time together while you?re there. In fact, if there?s enough interest, I say let?s all head to the Caribbean some time soon for a 3 ? 4 day Simple Marriage Getaway. Any one else?
- Share marriage with others. Live life with other people. Find other couples to hang out with. Go to dinner. Laugh. Tell stories. In other words, share your life with them. Everything is so much better when shared with others.
