red_tomato
Member
As a boy I was bullied in both primary and secondary school. At secondary school I would go red when a girl tired to make small talk or when it indicated to me that a girl my fancy me so I just went red and said nothing. I mean said nothing at all, just stayed and sat it out. However when sitting beside a girl in class I had no problem communicating with that person, perhaps because I didn't fancy them.
After leaving school I worked as a general opertive and continued to go red and be shy when ever the topic of 'women' came up, which as you can imagine was quite a lot given I managed to become a temalead incharge of a group of women.
After a year or so I moved to work as a general opertive abroad and while there I visited the red light distict. It was there one night that I had been with 8 or 9 different women that on the 10th one I had no more to give so she help me with her hand. That was 14 years ago and I've been yanking the chicken ever since. It has distroyed 2 relationships, the latter I would give anything to get back. We had 2 children from the 1st relationship and they turned out to be real daddies girls and while I don't spoil them they love and look up to me for support. Approx 2 months ago I went to my gp and they referred me to an out patient clinic where I was put on anit depressants and feel a change in my mood however that does not stop me from continually clicking the refersh page on a dating site to see if anybody has viewed my profile. This I guess I do out of boardum. Recnetly I took up an old hobbie - kayaking and find it great when I'm on the water if somethings a little scary. Any and all suggestions welcome on how I can set myself short, very short term goals to help move away from the boardum. Recently I've started baking and trying to get into a routine for the 1st time ever of trying to have the same meals on certain days of the week well for the most part anyway.
After leaving school I worked as a general opertive and continued to go red and be shy when ever the topic of 'women' came up, which as you can imagine was quite a lot given I managed to become a temalead incharge of a group of women.
After a year or so I moved to work as a general opertive abroad and while there I visited the red light distict. It was there one night that I had been with 8 or 9 different women that on the 10th one I had no more to give so she help me with her hand. That was 14 years ago and I've been yanking the chicken ever since. It has distroyed 2 relationships, the latter I would give anything to get back. We had 2 children from the 1st relationship and they turned out to be real daddies girls and while I don't spoil them they love and look up to me for support. Approx 2 months ago I went to my gp and they referred me to an out patient clinic where I was put on anit depressants and feel a change in my mood however that does not stop me from continually clicking the refersh page on a dating site to see if anybody has viewed my profile. This I guess I do out of boardum. Recnetly I took up an old hobbie - kayaking and find it great when I'm on the water if somethings a little scary. Any and all suggestions welcome on how I can set myself short, very short term goals to help move away from the boardum. Recently I've started baking and trying to get into a routine for the 1st time ever of trying to have the same meals on certain days of the week well for the most part anyway.
