Aaargh, my mother...

[AllyCat]

Hi everyone.
First off sorry about this post, but I just need to rant and rave a bit before I blow up.

A little bit of background info. Between the ages of 9 and 12 one of my moms ex boyfriends molested me. I only told her about it when I was 14, and she blew it off as unimportant. Anyway I am now 26 and have not seen the a***ole since I was 12. This Sunday I went over to my mom's place and who should pop by to give my mom a present but this same ex a***ole. She did him a favour so he brought her a present!!!

How the hell am I supposed to react to that? I haven't seen him in 14 years, and now my mom is friends with him!!! OMG Aaaargh! I don't know what to do, what to feel. I didn't expect this. I'm not surprised by how insensitive my mom is any more, but this really tops it all. I mean really, it was like a slap in the face!

Anyway I'm not really asking a question, I don't know what to do or what I am actually supposed to feel (I'm actually kind of numb). Just needed to vent.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Daniel E.]

This Sunday I went over to my mom's place and who should pop by to give my mom a present but this same ex a***ole. She did him a favour so he brought her a present!!!

Yeah, that's pretty messed up.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

I don't know what to do, what to feel. I didn't expect this. I'm not surprised by how insensitive my mom is any more, but this really tops it all. I mean really, it was like a slap in the face!

That pretty much sums it up. She's insensitive at best. I imagine most people would feel betrayed.

 

[AllyCat]

Yeah, I guess I'm starting to feel a bit betrayed, I woke up at about 4:30 this morning from nightmares only to start crying, thinking of this and past things she has done and said, and how I will have to cut my mom out my life to avoid even further pain which she will undoubtedly inflict on me with her words in the future. I think this was the last straw.Again, Thanks for the reading.

 

[AllyCat]

Hi, I thought I would update everyone. A few days ago I blew up and wrote my mother a letter. The most unbelievable thing happened, something that has never happened before. She apologised. It has been a harrowing, painful few days but I think I feel a lot better now, almost hopeful and happy. I am still cautious but optimistic.

 

[indestructible]

Wow - how amazing that your Mom was able to apologize. You are right to be both cautious and optimistic. It is kind and understanding to give chances, but, it sounds like you have been burned badly so many times so be careful. In other words, don't forget to be kind and understanding to yourself as well...

 

[AllyCat]

Thanks for the advice. I still don't fell like physically seeing her. This whole altrecation was done in email. I'm still not sure if it was sincere or if she just apologised so I don't cut her out my life like I said I would in the email. It is extremely difficult because I want to see the best in people and not hold a grudge forever but I am risking getting hurt again. Anyway, I'm just going to take it easy.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

It is difficult. As you know, narcisistic people can be very manipulative so it's difficult to say how sincere an apology is coming from them.