More threads by HotthenCold

ladylore

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Hey Gang,

I know this is a little early - but next month (Aug 23) will be 3 years clean and sober. It is really, really cool that I have made it so far - that I am proud of.

On a down side, in the month or so I have been having some emotional issues that I think are related to the upcoming anniversary. Needless to say, I was in bad shape the day I decided enough was enough and I had to do something about it.

I have been told that anniversaries of this kind are bitter sweet because any kind of past trauma can be called up again and remembered.

So I am happy and sad at the same time.

Thanks for listening Gang. It is worth it. :2thumbs:
 
Congratulations, LL. 3 years is definitely something to be celebrated. And now that I write that, I just realized I'll be 3 years off the sauce this September. Funny I didn't realize we were going through similar processes at around the same time 3 years ago.

It definitely makes sense that anniversaries like this are bitter sweet. Clearly there were serious consequences contributing to our taking such drastic action like quitting -so it makes sense that we would remember some of those consequences we were experiencing back then. And if you're like me you also recall the reasons you wanted so desperately to escape in the first place.

On the other hand, there's the sweet part. In my case, that's remembering I haven't experienced any of those "consequences" in nearly 3 years. And acknowledging that our lives really suck sometimes (hehe) but they would suck A LOT MORE if we were still using or drinking.

And we are alive :). We are dealing with life head-on without escaping reality. That takes much strength and courage.

Way to go sistah ;)
 

ladylore

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On the other hand, there's the sweet part. In my case, that's remembering I haven't experienced any of those "consequences" in nearly 3 years. And acknowledging that our lives really suck sometimes (hehe) but they would suck A LOT MORE if we were still using or drinking.

And we are alive . We are dealing with life head-on without escaping reality. That takes much strength and courage.

Amen to that Healthbound!! :funky:

We will both have to celebrate 2X - once for me and once for you. :D

:friends:
 

Fiver

Member
To healthbound and ladylore: Heartfelt congratulations on three years of continued strength, courage, and wisdom. May these traits forever serve you well!
 

Jazzey

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I've been very good lately. Today, really craving - looking at the clock to see when I'd have to leave at the latest to get some alcohol. But I know that if I get some today, it won't just be the one drink...darn. Why am I thinking about this incessantly right now?
 

ladylore

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It's because that is what your brain and body want. It happens to me still at times. But it's only a thought that will pass. Maybe some sparkling lemonade made with sparkling water instead. :)

Cravings don't last long - so wait it out. It will go away and eventually they will give up because you are not giving in to them.
 

Jazzey

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Member
I got a bottle of....Orangina. But I have to say, yesterday was probably the hardest day ever. I can usually distract myself by keeping very busy. Yesterday, because of my emotional mindset, I didn't have the strength to do much of anything - which is usually when I want a drink the most - to make the time pass a little.

I will give this warning about Orangina though - it packs it's own little punch in the form of insomnia...:) oops - too much caffeine and sugar.
 

Jazzey

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Ok, I'm bumping this thread up again. :)

I've been struggling with this again. Mostly because my anxiety is pretty high and I've been dissociating lately. Those, for me, I've recognized are the two things that make want to drink.

So, for today, I'm going to rejoin the world for a little bit. It's a beautiful day, I'm going to out and do some exercise (probably walking in the park) and get some errands done. I've been cocooning lately. I think this also brings up the urge to drink for me.

I'm posting because I've decided that I will ask for your support in keeping on the healthier path. :) When I cut myself off from that support, I live entirely in my head and that only brings me more battles. I've done this before, and I can do this again. :2thumbs:
 
i am so proud of you for making this conscious decision to reach out so that you can help yourself, and so that you can make this less difficult on yourself than it would be. :hug:

it sounds like keeping yourself present and grounded is what you really need. good decision, jazzey :goodjob:
 

ladylore

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:goodjob: Thanks for bumping this thead up and asking for support. :)

Isolation is something anyone dealing with addiction issues need to watch out for. So good for you. It took me a long time to realize when I wanted and neeed alone time (which is healthy) or I wanted to isolate (not so healthy).

Dealing with anxiety too can make things a bit dicey. When the anxiety hits the roof for me I still find myself thinking of taking something just to make it go away. I don't, and eventually the anxiety and the thoughts disappear.

My addiction therapist is a bit of an extravert. She would like me to be more social. Sometimes going for a walk, grabbing a cuppa java and people watching is all I can do. That's ok.

Proud of you Jazzey. :woohoo:
 

BluMac81

Member
Hi everyone, I figure it'd be appropriate to post here as I am fighting alcohol and nicotine abuse. I attend AA meetings 1-2 times a week but find that I am intimidated/too shy to speak up half the time, other than when I speak up to get my chips (like last one I went to I did say that I was 24hr-29days sober and got the chip) cause those chips are important to me, I keep them displayed in my home to remind me of my progress.

After two hospitalizations, two near death experiences, and a whole lot of denial I've finally come to terms with the first step (which is extremely hard to do by the way), that I'm powerless over alcohol and my life has become unmanagable. At the age of 28 admitting that I am powerless over something and my life is unmanagable and that I cannot ever have a drink again (without jeopardizing my life) was overwhelming.

But I've done it and gone and admitted these things, something my dad never did and it was alcoholism that caused his death at the age of 56. For now, my self-esteem and confidence have been shattered by accepting this first step, its humbled me. But I know after seeing those faces at the AA meetings that it is the right way to go, and I'm working on the 2nd step now. Relapse is a slippery slope, so many things can trigger it, and when you get complacent about yourself and your life, that is when it occurs... so as the saying goes, 'keep coming back it works if you work it!' ;)

1 week sober now and counting. One day at a time, one moment at a time, one minute at a time.....
 

ladylore

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I'm glad your attending AA BluMac. The chips are important - it's a reward for staying clean and sober.

August 23rd I received my 3yr medallion. I gotta say how proud I am to get that.

Keep up the great work. :2thumbs:
 

BluMac81

Member
1 month 15 days sober! Its weird, I am finding it really easy to abstain from alcohol, I don't think about it that often and lose track of my time of sobriety, I guess that's a good thing! I just don't even want to drink because when I think about it I my stomach churns and I get a little nauseated, its like my body is saying 'no more of that!', and I'm like 'you got it body!' lol.

I don't know if this is a setback or not but I did go back to chewing tobacco, it took a while to trust myself to do it again because I was afraid I would use it as a subsitute for alcohol. And yes I am fully aware of the dangers of chewing tobacco (gum disease, etc.), but my little "2 dips a day" short-term buzz was something I looked forward to, and I missed it a lot. I closely monitoring my use of it now ensuring I don't do it more than twice a day (abuse it), and am weighing the side-effects and long-term effects versus the positive feelings on it in a scientific manner. Stimulants and having depression are not to my knowledge any danger to combine, but I DEFINITELY know now that alcohol and depression do not mix, because ones depression becomes exacerbated along with an inhibriation that leads to compulsive, irrational behavior.
 
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