After therapy sessions

[Marcel]

I find that I feel the most completely alone and wanting to talk in the hours and day that follow a therapy session. I wish I had another therapist that I could discuss my concerns/thoughts about my (main) therapist/therapy with or that I could have a second therapy session shortly after the first, to discuss my reactions to the first one. I have a hard time discussing anything in therapy and I find by the time the next session rolls around, I have completely shut down again - so it isn't like I can discuss these feelins the "next time" I am there. It doesn't seem like anyone else feels so lost and completely alone after their therapy session - and needing therapy to recover from therapy. I don't know why I feel this way and wish I knew how other people coped - or what skills they had that made them not feel like this post-session. Any advice?

Thanks,

 

[Daniel E.]

I have a hard time discussing anything in therapy

Journaling or writing notes for your therapist may help:

Therapy Constipation - Psychlinks

In any case, you should discuss this with your therapist. You could even print the post above and give it to him/her.

 

[Jazzey]

Ditto to both of you Buffy,

I have felt much the same way after some of my sessions. And, as Daniel has suggested, I keep a journal of sorts. I write down questions that have emerged, feelings, and particular thoughts about that specific session.

I think it's just part of the process...And yes, for whatever reason, loneliness does set in after some of the sessions. I haven't yet figured out why that is but I wanted to acknowledge that I shared some of your feelings on it.

Adding a little more here Buffy - the loneliness I feel is part and parcel due to confusion and maybe "over-analyzing" what was discussed during the session...That's true for me at least. I don't know where you are in your therapy (beginning?) - I'm at the beginning which I think makes me a little more sensitive than I would otherwise be to certain topics. For me, after a particular session, some guilt sets in...but again, I think that's my own sensitivity that is triggered and I usually try and take a few steps back to see the bigger picture of the lesson to be learned from that particular session. Otherwise, as I've learned recently, my feelings seep through all aspects of my life resulting in my feeling negative about myself in all of my interactions.

I hope this helps Buffy. I hope that you post again - it was nice to see someone else who felt the same.

 

[littlepieces]

HI Buffy,
I dont really think I can give much advice other than say this is what seems to happen to me too.
So much so I am starting to think that is it really worth it, I always feel so emotional after my therapy especually at work, I did not go in last week because I could not face it and thats not productive because then I feel even more useless than I already am!
I think that therapy stirs up lots of feelings which I have done my best to ignore for the best part of my life, so it does make sense that I am going to find the days after difficult, but dont know if I can really cope with that for much longer........only 2 weeks then have week off which I need.:hissyfit:
Hope you manage to work things out

 

[Jazzey]

Hi littlepieces,

Just wanted to tell you I'd read your post here. Therapy can be hard work. And the emotional fatigue that follows may be a good indication that you've listened and thought about what took place during that particular session - that's the lesson I'm pulling out of it. And, as I'm sure you've learned, ignoring feelings for part of your life always comes back in some form or another. For me, those repressed feelings have come back in the form of depression and anxiety...Neither of which are particularly productive.

So, I wanted to send you some support tonight for the next 2 weeks to come - :support: And to tell you that you can lean on us too. I'm happy that you posted tonight littlepieces .

Sending you and Buffy both some positive vibes and a listening ear whenever you need one.

 

[littlepieces]

Hi littlepieces,

Just wanted to tell you I'd read your post here. Therapy can be hard work. And the emotional fatigue that follows may be a good indication that you've listened and thought about what took place during that particular session - that's the lesson I'm pulling out of it. And, as I'm sure you've learned, ignoring feelings for part of your life always comes back in some form or another. For me, those repressed feelings have come back in the form of depression and anxiety...Neither of which are particularly productive.

So, I wanted to send you some support tonight for the next 2 weeks to come - :support: And to tell you that you can lean on us too. I'm happy that you posted tonight littlepieces .

Sending you and Buffy both some positive vibes and a listening ear whenever you need one.

Thanks Jazzey for your positive vibes...I do understand that ignoring feelings creates problems in the form of depression and anxiety....which is where I have been led...but I know I am hopless at talking to anyone really, especually a therapist, I hate it, he then says 'thats ok to hate it as long as you understand your need for it'! or somthing like that... I allways feel particually pesermistic the following few days after my session and think I would be better of not returning, but then I go again because I know if I miss one session the likley hood of returning would be minimal and I need to do somthing, but then therapy is making me feel worse not better. I know this is likely to happen at first and have been told it is a natural reaction, that does not make me feel better.
What anoyes me the most is he allways asks me how I feel and I find it so hard to say anything other than I dont know, been going for about 4 months now and still so stuck........do wonder if it is worth it and think I am waisting my time, he then say 'yes but just because you think it, does not make it true'!
Thanks for listening
littlepieces

 

[Jazzey]

What anoyes me the most is he allways asks me how I feel and I find it so hard to say anything other than I dont know, been going for about 4 months now and still so stuck........do wonder if it is worth it and think I am waisting my time, he then say 'yes but just because you think it, does not make it true'!

You're not expressing anything that I haven't felt myself littlepieces. I really understand - A lot of my answers in the last few months have been "I don't know" -and then, I'm pushed on it. I get frustrated, angry, sad...all of the above . When I'm feeling this way, I try and stay focused on the fact that looking into myself, as hard as it may be at times, IS really achieving something for me: insight into why I am how I am, insight into why I do the things that I do...all leading to the ultimate - insight into who I am right now and who I want to be...It's all hard work but, ultimately I think that I'm worth it - as difficult as it is to confront some of the issues.

If you read other threads here, you'll see other members who've also said that the beginning of therapy always makes them feel worse. And then, as time goes by, you'll see their progress and how well they're feeling today. I think that this has to be the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel isn't much fun for the time being but, if it means feeling better about who I am at the end, so be it...I'll try and do the work that goes along with that feeling.

Thank you for sharing with me tonight Littlepieces. It's nice to hear from others who are having some of the same feelings sometimes. And I am sending you those positive vibes of support. I hope that you'll keep sharing with us. :support:

 

[littlepieces]

You're not expressing anything that I haven't felt myself littlepieces. I really understand - A lot of my answers in the last few months have been "I don't know" -and then, I'm pushed on it. I get frustrated, angry, sad...all of the above . When I'm feeling this way, I try and stay focused on the fact that looking into myself, as hard as it may be at times, IS really achieving something for me: insight into why I am how I am, insight into why I do the the things that I do...all leading to the ultimate - insight into who I am right now and who I want to be...It's all hard work but, ultimately I think that I'm worth it - as difficult as it is to confront some of the issues.

If you read other threads here, you'll see other members who've also said that the beginning of therapy always makes them feel worse. And then, as time goes by, you'll see their progress and how well they're feeling today. I think that this has to be the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel isn't much fun for the time being but, if it means feeling better about who I am at the end, so be it...I'll try and do the work that goes along with that feeling.

Thank you for sharing with me tonight Littlepieces. It's nice to hear from others who are having some of the same feelings sometimes. And I am sending you those positive vibes of support. I hope that you'll keep sharing with us. :support:

Thanks for your support
I think a lot of my trouble is I dont feel I am worth it, I have never liked myself. I really dont see much point to life at all really and then feel guilty for feeling like that. Often think would be better if I was not born, as whats the point, therapist said somthing about the vitality of life today, what vitality
Hate it really because I know I have always been a bit down but nothing like this.......
Thanks for listening.
littlepieces

 

[Jazzey]

Again Littlepieces, I don't know what your diagnosis is - but I'm guessing depression. I've had those feeling too. Just keep telling yourself that you're feeling this way because of the depression. As time goes on, you will recognize that your value is much more than what you're willing to attribute to it. Are you taking any anti-depressants? I've found that I've felt a little better since I've started on them...

What I call the 'pits of darkness' can be really dark- just remember these are only thoughts. We're there because of depression...

And btw - I'm around quite a bit - always willing to lend a listening ear Littlepieces.

 

[Marcel]

Thanks Jazzey and littlepieces for your feedback. I am very familiar with the "I don't know" response to open ended questions and feeling like I am never going to return again after a session - because it just leaves me so low afterwards I wonder if it is worth it. I tried therapy for several years about a decade ago and finally gave up - then I tried again starting a year ago and it really isn't going any better this time around.

It is me that is the problem - not the therapists - I can't trust and be honest and open and the week between the sessions just seems to tear down any trust that is built up during a session. I try to journal after but usually I just wind up very upset trying to write things down on paper because a) my thoughts just won't come out right on paper and b) because I am so frustrated that I know I won't allow myself to give it to the therapist to read (because I don't trust them with my "real" thoughts).

But I am still afraid to give up on therapy so will keep going. It is nice to know I am not the only one that doesn't feel "so much better" and like I've "really sorted things out" or "come to terms with things" and "resolved matters" at the end of a session...

 

[Jazzey]

Definitely not the only one Buffy

And your one step ahead of me - I went to therapy once - 8 years ago. I walked out and never went back because of my own discomfort about the discussion. I was able to convince myself that it wasn't going to work for me. This year, I've tried it again. I still struggle a little with it because i don't particularly like the feeling of vulnerability. I also think that this is why journaling is difficult for me too btw. But, as I've said in this thread - I'm willing to give it a go - I appreciate now that I will be struggling with the same issues unless I'm a little more pro-active and, that I'm willing to share a little more...

As for your thoughts not coming out right on paper - That's ok - they're your thoughts, you can always change them / explain them a little more etc... the journaling is for you - no one else. And I haven't yet shared my "paper thoughts" with my psychologist because I'm not there yet either. I have discussed some of my thoughts with her - I just haven't shared the journal. Maybe as you get more comfortable with this person, you'll want to share? How long have you been in therapy Buffy?

I'm happy you haven't given up on therapy Buffy - I know it would be easy to walk away. I've thought about it many times myself. At the end of the day, we know why we're there...

As for "coming to terms" or "resolving matters" - it takes time....baby steps Buffy... We have to be patient with the process.

 

[littlepieces]

I Have not asked for a diagnosis and have not been told......I am glad anti-depressants have made you feel a little better, but I would not want to take them. I know my mum did and they did help her as well.
Sorry dont understand btw (will feel stupid when you tell me)! Thanks for listening it does help I think.....:noidea:

 

[Jazzey]

Sorry "btw" stands for "by the way". I just shortened it...I was resistant to anti-depressants for a long time too - 10 years. But they do help and they are temporary...

Why are you against them Littlepieces?

 

[Into The Light]

i think allowing yourself to be vulnerable is one of the hardest things to do in therapy. the good news is that if you keep working at it, over time you will allow yourself to go there. don't beat yourself up over this, it is a process, and takes time, for all of us. have faith in yourself, you will get there :goodjob:

 

[littlepieces]

But I am still afraid to give up on therapy so will keep going. It is nice to know I am not the only one that doesn't feel "so much better" and like I've "really sorted things out" or "come to terms with things" and "resolved matters" at the end of a session...

Hi Buffy, yes I think I am in the same kind of place you are with your therapy. I also went to quite a few therapist before settling on the one I am seeing now, so relise its not easy to find a good fit! So am also afraid to give up as doubt I will find another therapist as am very critical!
It is also good to know I am not the only one finding the going tough.
Hope things get better for you, do let me know how you are doing.
littlepieces

 

[Into The Light]

But I am still afraid to give up on therapy so will keep going. It is nice to know I am not the only one that doesn't feel "so much better" and like I've "really sorted things out" or "come to terms with things" and "resolved matters" at the end of a session...

maybe it helps to know that therapy isn't a linear process. you may go for a while and nothing seems to change but then all of a sudden the work you've done reaches critical mass and something changes in you. also it can be two steps forward and one step back at times, and during those steps back it may feel like there is no progress at all, but in fact there is - you just might not be seeing it in that moment. my therapist regularly points out how far i have come when i am feeling discouraged and it really helps. maybe yours could too if you ask?

 

[littlepieces]

I think that if I started taking antidepresents It would be really admiting I am ill which I havent yet...also when my mum was taking them she was so different to how I was used to her being, quite unnerving really!
Hopfully I will never need them...even if I did dont think I would take them I am very against them for myself...my stubon side coming out I think!
10 years thats a long time what made you change your mind?

 

[Jazzey]

10 years thats a long time what made you change your mind?

Sorry, I misspoke a little. I was ignoring my depression for about 10 years. I saw my first psychologist back in 2001 and wasn't prepared to accept that what I was experiencing was depression. At that time, both he and my doctor recommended medications. I ignored both of them because I wasn't ready to accept it. Here's the weird part, I only recently even remembered that I'd seen that psychologist...At the time, I was going through a lot of stress (University and other things) and it was easier to accept that I was just tired.

I was referred to that psychologist because of an episode during a school exam - where, for lack of a better word, I completely dissociated. Recently, something very similar happened to me and again, it scared me. So this time, I was willing to accept that it was a symptom of my depression and now open to taking the medications.

And yes, like you, I think I avoided the medications because I thought it would be an admission or giving in. But the reality is, it's just depression and many of us go through periods in our life when we go through it. For me, waiting meant that I gave depression an opportunity to get far worse than it needed to be. And like you, I was very against taking them, for myself.

So, if your doctor is recommending them, maybe ask yourself why it is that you're rejecting the idea? Is it because of the admission? Is it because you think that it makes you look weak? What if it made it easier for you to work through the depression and feel better sooner?

Take care littlepieces Let me know how you're doing.

 

[littlepieces]

So, if your doctor is recommending them, maybe ask yourself why it is that you're rejecting the idea? Is it because of the admission? Is it because you think that it makes you look weak? What if it made it easier for you to work through the depression and feel better sooner?

Take care littlepieces Let me know how you're doing.

Thanks for your reply Jazzey,
The therapist I was consulting on-line for about a year did recommend them but the one I am seeing now has not mentioned them, but don?t think he really knows how down I am...and maybe one of the reasons I don?t want him to know is because I don?t what to be in that position of refusing medication again.
I think it?s both reasons...It might make it easier but still feel I should not need to take anything and should be able to cope without them.
Thanks for listening in quite a dark place at the moment :sob2:
Littlepieces

 

[boi]

Hi Little Pieces and Buffy55,
I know what you both are going through and my thoughts are with you. I have had a very hard time opening up as well. I don't trust either and it feels like nothing will come out. Yesterday though was better than it has been. I managed to bring something up (in my own way in order to open the conversation). Nothing big but it was something I thought I needed to deal with and I wanted my therapist to know. It has taken me over a year but I did it. So, I know it might feel like you will never be able to open up but it will happen when you are comfortable.