Ashley-Kate
MVP
i just don't want to believe that someone that i was close to that treated me like i was his own daughter would do this to me there must be a rational explanation
- Thread starter Ashley-Kate
- Start date
The rational explanation is that he is horny and since he knows you so well he may believe he can get away with anything.
Honestly, you are being the classical potential rape victim by not calling the police.
Honestly, you are being the classical potential rape victim by not calling the police.
ThatLady
Member
Ashley, it doesn't matter what you do or do not want to believe. This man is a sexual predator. What if he's doing the same thing to some other young girl? This is not a time to ask philosophical questions, Ashley. This is a time for action, pure and simple. Call the police.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
There is a rational explanation. He is a predator and he has picked you to be his prey.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
i am no longuer a minor so what he is doing must not be illegal.. i didn't say "NO" i didn't say nothin.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
i am just scared!!!
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I totally understand that, Ashley. I think he knows that too. That's why you need to understand this has nothing to do with anything you did or didn't do. It has to do with this man taking advantage of you, preying on you. It has to do with your need to take steps to protect yourself from him.
There are laws about this sort of thing and police to uphold those laws. Think seriously about taking advantage of those resources.
If you're not ready to do that, then you need to talk to your family and friends and ask them to help you keep him away from you.
ThatLady
Member
It doesn't matter that you're not a minor, Ashley. What he's doing is illegal whether you're a minor or not.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
easier said than done! i admired him... i am the stupid one that didn't see this comming
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
No. You're not stupid.
Ashyley, I think by now you're probably feeling that everyone here is giving you a hard time about this, and i suppose in a way they (we) are.
You do not have to do anything you're not ready to do. But please understand at least that there are things you COULD do and that you are not helpless and that you do not have to continue to allow this man to terrorize you. Talk to your mother. Talk to your friends. Get some advice from them.
Ashyley, I think by now you're probably feeling that everyone here is giving you a hard time about this, and i suppose in a way they (we) are.
You do not have to do anything you're not ready to do. But please understand at least that there are things you COULD do and that you are not helpless and that you do not have to continue to allow this man to terrorize you. Talk to your mother. Talk to your friends. Get some advice from them.
ThatLady
Member
You're not stupid, Ashley. You're a victim. Victims aren't stupid, but they too often blame themselves. It's not your fault.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
yeah you are absolutly right i feel that no one sees how hard this is for me
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
I know it's hard.
Psychlinks Forum members are just trying to give you their best advice. Take what you can use right now and file the rest away for another time.
The only thing you need to do is stop blaming yourself. It was NOT anything you did or did not do. It was not your fault.
After that, your next step is to try to figure out a way to keep yourself safe. What people here are trying to do is make suggestions on how to do that. Do what you can. That's all. That's all anyone expects of you, Ashley.
Psychlinks Forum members are just trying to give you their best advice. Take what you can use right now and file the rest away for another time.
The only thing you need to do is stop blaming yourself. It was NOT anything you did or did not do. It was not your fault.
After that, your next step is to try to figure out a way to keep yourself safe. What people here are trying to do is make suggestions on how to do that. Do what you can. That's all. That's all anyone expects of you, Ashley.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
oh it is just so hard i am freeking out cause i know tomorrow i am going to have to leave the house to get out to go to school... i shut my eyes and i relive everything in my head his hands his lips on my kneck his arms around me i can't get it out of my head .. tomorrow i am also seeing my psychologist who is specialised with sexual abuse victims and that reasures me she may be able to help me out .. and before i see her one of my friends i spoke to is going to come with me to see the educator that was at the gym saturday when the hole thing happened and then after together we are goingto go see the school principal to get him to take care of the hole school protection thing and i am going to try and see if the police officer that works at the school is there.. i am just scraed i am making a big thing of nothing
ThatLady
Member
I really think we do understand that our suggestions aren't easy to do. However, I also think we realize how very important it is that you remain safe. This man is a danger to you, and that matters very much to us because you matter to us, Ashley.
I've been where you are. I've been stalked. I've been accosted, and I've been raped. I know all about the self-blame and the denials. I also know that I don't want anyone, anywhere, to have to undergo that kind of pain. Not ever. That's why it's so important to people like me that this kind of thing be reported, and that people like this man are not allowed to terrorize you, or any other young woman. :hug:
I've been where you are. I've been stalked. I've been accosted, and I've been raped. I know all about the self-blame and the denials. I also know that I don't want anyone, anywhere, to have to undergo that kind of pain. Not ever. That's why it's so important to people like me that this kind of thing be reported, and that people like this man are not allowed to terrorize you, or any other young woman. :hug:
ThatLady
Member
You're not making a big thing out of nothing, Ashley. What you've described here is definitely not "nothing". Sometimes, we almost have to take ourselves out of the situation and substitute someone else in order to see things more clearly. Imagine how you'd feel if this were happening to someone you loved -like your daughter, or your sister, or your dearest friend. Imagine what you'd want for them to do to maintain their safety.
Ashley-Kate
MVP
i will tell you guys how eerything goes at school tomorrow
thanks
thanks
ThatLady
Member
I'll be looking forward to hearing how things go, Ashley. Just take care of yourself and try to have someone with you when you're out and about. Don't go on your own for the time being. :hug:
(((hugs)) Ashley.. i'm sorry this is happening to you.
I do hope you will report this guy to the police and get help in staying safe. keep in mind, you have done NOTHING wrong.
I'm glad to see that you have plans in place (with your friend). and as That lady has said, let us know how things went and are going .
you are in my thoughts. :hug:
I do hope you will report this guy to the police and get help in staying safe. keep in mind, you have done NOTHING wrong.
I'm glad to see that you have plans in place (with your friend). and as That lady has said, let us know how things went and are going .
you are in my thoughts. :hug:
Ashley,
I just wanted to say that my heart truly goes out to you and I can relate to some of what you are experiencing. As others here have said, you did absolutely nothing wrong and please try to remember that no matter how much your brain tries to tell you otherwise.
The main concern is to keep yourself safe and I think taking some action today by going to talk with people at your school is a step in the right direction.
Let us know how it goes today at school and you will be in my thoughts today.
Take care
:hug: :hug:
I just wanted to say that my heart truly goes out to you and I can relate to some of what you are experiencing. As others here have said, you did absolutely nothing wrong and please try to remember that no matter how much your brain tries to tell you otherwise.
The main concern is to keep yourself safe and I think taking some action today by going to talk with people at your school is a step in the right direction.
Let us know how it goes today at school and you will be in my thoughts today.
Take care
:hug: :hug:
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