• Quote of the Day
    "It’s not the size of the step that gets you there. It’s the fact that you’re taking the step."
    Mark Victor Hansen, posted by Daniel

Daniel

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The link below is to an excerpt from The Feeling Good Handbook that discusses ten different errors commonly found in distorted thinking.

Link: The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking

My "favorite" errors are overgeneralization, mental filter, and fortune-telling.
 

Ash

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Thanks, Daniel. I find myself falling into those traps and it takes A LOT of work to get back out! I think that being mindful can help with that.
 

Daniel

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Depression and Negative Thinking: A Cognitive Approach to Hamlet
Morin, Gertrude. Mosaic 25.1 (1992): 1-12.

Using the cognitive-behavior approach, this essay hopes to demonstrate that "Hamlet is, essentially, a portrayal of a tortured, depressed young man who loses his way in the labyrinth of his negative thoughts" (2). Rather than agree with Freud's assessment of Hamlet as a victim of the unconscious, this article presents the protagonist as the responsible party of a "common occurrence" - depression (2). Hamlet reacts to the loss of his father and his mother's hasty remarriage "by employing negative schematic processes" - learned responses (3). His soliloquies reveal examples of "cognitive logic error that leads to and reinforces the depressive's negative view" (4): Hamlet's fascination with death reflects "selective abstraction," in which the positive aspects of life are overlooked (5-6), in favor of "absolutist, dichotomous thinking," which views death as the "principal reality" (6); he suffers from the cognitive error of "overgeneralization" when he concludes that Gertrude's flaws extend to all women (7-8); his poor prediction for the marriage of Claudius and Gertrude (and thus the creation of a self-fulfilling prophesy) demonstrates "arbitrary inference" (8); Hamlet's various methods of self-criticism include "magnification and minimization" (9), "inexact labeling" (9-10), as well as "self-coercive" thoughts (10). According to this approach, the depressed person "thinks him/herself into an impaired mood" (11). While literary studies may benefit from the new insights of cognitive-behavioral research, the simultaneous hope is that psychologists, researchers, and patients may benefit from reading Hamlet (11).
 
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It's hard to get rid of negative thoughts when people back them up for you and you can't figure out what's really true or rreal.
 

ThatLady

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One way of determining what's real is to consider the source of negative input. If the source is a person with a vested interest in maintaining control over you, or building their own flagging self esteem at your expense, you can pretty well dismiss that particular person's opinion. It's self-serving.

If an individual has a history of putting you down, you can pretty well bet that person fits the above. That should help you to realize that the negative input coming from that person is not the truth. It's designed to create a situation that will play into that person's scenario. If that person can keep you negative and questioning yourself, they can maintain the upper hand.
 
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I don't understand WHY someone would be like that. When a person tries and tries to do the right things and say the right things and it's never good enough. And the hardest part is that you love that person and think that no one else could ever care about you.
 

Daniel

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At some level, it doesn't really matter since you can't control their behavior. What matters most of all, of course, is getting away from it.
 

ThatLady

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It really does no good, that I've ever found, to try to figure out why people do things. Most of the time, you'll just come up empty with regard to an answer. When people do destructive things, even they rarely know why they do them. How on earth can we possibly understand if they don't?

The point is, hon, that you don't have to be "good enough" for someone else. You are you, and that is good enough as it is. As for loving that person, that's a whole separate issue. Often, when we've become inured to abuse, we come to accept it...even expect it and feel we deserve it. The opposite is actually true. We do NOT deserve it. We should NEVER expect, nor accept it. Like I once told you, ask yourself if you would treat another in a demeaning way. In all probability, the answer is a resounding "NO!". Why, then, is it acceptable for someone else to treat you in such a way? You are just as worthy of kindness and understanding as anyone else. We ALL are, Janet.
 
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Maybe my question shouldn't be why are people mean to me, but why are people here so nice to me?

I don't deserve it. It just means a lot though.

I just wish there was some way to turn off all those emotions.
 

ThatLady

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You DO deserve nice treatment, Janet. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. I notice you give that respect and dignity to others. Your next assignment, should you decide to accept it, is to realize that you are just as deserving as anybody else. ;)
 

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