- Thread starter stargazer
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stargazer
Member
Right you are, my friend. 
ThatLady
Member
I don't see anything negative about approaching them with the idea, SG. It might be a project that they'd like to get into but didn't have anyone to turn to for professional expertise.
stargazer
Member
My client, the mother of all those girls I teach, also suggested I do this. One of her daughters is taking dance classes through Parks and Rec--they have a wonderful facility. She told me which door to walk through, but I just haven't made the move yet. Now's probably the time, if we want to get anything happening by Summer. I should probably walk through that door come January, resume in hand.
ThatLady
Member
What's wrong with tomorrow?
ThatLady
Member
Procrastination has always been my downfall. The only way I've found to actually combat it successfully is to realize that every time I say "tomorrow will be soon enough", that means it's something I need to do now!
texasgirl
MVP
SG:
I have to say that I read your original note and thought to myself that the disparate sides of ourselves are what make us interesting and alive. Understanding that we are often hardest on ourselves, I think it's important to note that it is the range of emotion that makes us most human. I have a hard time dealing with people who have more limited range of emotion, since I, too, have a more volatile personality than most. But, as a musician and artist, I would have to think that your emotional self is as much a part of your music and art as your talent.
And the remarks from the teenager - I agree with everyone else's comments here. The good news and the bad news about them is that they are so "in the moment" that you never can predict what they will say or do.
Take care, and, as always, thanks for your insights. They always make me think.
I have to say that I read your original note and thought to myself that the disparate sides of ourselves are what make us interesting and alive. Understanding that we are often hardest on ourselves, I think it's important to note that it is the range of emotion that makes us most human. I have a hard time dealing with people who have more limited range of emotion, since I, too, have a more volatile personality than most. But, as a musician and artist, I would have to think that your emotional self is as much a part of your music and art as your talent.
And the remarks from the teenager - I agree with everyone else's comments here. The good news and the bad news about them is that they are so "in the moment" that you never can predict what they will say or do.
Take care, and, as always, thanks for your insights. They always make me think.
stargazer
Member
It's interesting what you are saying, texasgirl, if I am interpreting your words correctly. Historically, in my life, I have found that I tend to want to be viewed *only* on the basis of my good qualities, and not at all because I have any sort of embarrassing problem. I suppose that's unrealistic, and it's also a function of pride, but on another level, I've also found that many of my problems dissolve when I spend more time hanging out on the right side of the psychic tracks, so to speak. It's not that the whole person doesn't involve a plethora of traits, good and bad, but that the person only thrives in the areas where wholeness is promoted, the areas that are life-giving. So in a way, no, I don't think the whole range of emotions, and their associated behaviors, makes me any more interesting, or any more alive.
texasgirl
MVP
Hi SG: Maybe I wasn't as clear as I hoped to be but it seems to me that too many times we judge our "negative" emotions too harshly. Not that it is preferable ever to hurt someone deliberately or otherwise to not try to be as kind as we can, but, after many years of mental illness, I have come to accept that just as I have both strengths and limitations, good and bad behaviors and that all are important to the "wholeness" (to borrow your word ) of being. And I agree that life-giving behaviors are certainly more well-received than their opposites. However, I think that for me anyway, denying the flip side or my darker side denies in a way my humanity, and it's that humanity that ultimately allows me to connect with others. I have found it easier to accept my mental issues by doing so and that it helps me not to be so embarrassed.
) of being. And I agree that life-giving behaviors are certainly more well-received than their opposites. However, I think that for me anyway, denying the flip side or my darker side denies in a way my humanity, and it's that humanity that ultimately allows me to connect with others. I have found it easier to accept my mental issues by doing so and that it helps me not to be so embarrassed.
stargazer
Member
I think I understand what you are saying now, Texasgirl, and I also thought last night that I wasn't expressing my point/position very clearly either. It's not that I believe I ought to "deny" the dark side; it's just that I don't want to *feed* it. In my personal experience, I've hung out in a lot of places that, while purporting to "deal with" it (positively, healthfully, etc.) ultimately wind up feeding it. So I think it becomes a question of balance. I need to spend more time in the places that feed what's good about me, and what I have to offer, and not the places which feed the power of my illness.
This is not to say I shouldn't deal with my illness. In fact, I feel kind of bad I've been slacking on the therapy lately, and the workbook, and mood log; because I know that's all good. I'm just trying to say I don't believe I should romanticize or glorify it. They can do that down at that cafe where they all think I'm a crack addict (that's in the Members Only thread) and they can do it when they all stand up to tell funny stories about me at my funeral. But in the meantime, I have to rise above.
I hope that makes more sense now, because I'm having a hard time expressing it. It's something I just have to live. In my life, and in my friendships right now, there are a lot of people telling me how messed up I am, and very few people telling me I have anything to offer; and I really feel I have something to offer; so I want to change that general phenomenon as much as I can, because the effect it's having on me is dragging me down. I could chuckle and say, "yeah, it's only human!" but that would be like living there, where there's no life really, and settling to define myself with the negative self-identity. And I just won't do that, because that's like giving up, resigning, taking the easy way out.
I hope this makes sense now. I'm pretty depressed, and I won't deny that. But I just don't think it's going to help for me to identify with it, as though that's all I am, is a messed up person.
This is not to say I shouldn't deal with my illness. In fact, I feel kind of bad I've been slacking on the therapy lately, and the workbook, and mood log; because I know that's all good. I'm just trying to say I don't believe I should romanticize or glorify it. They can do that down at that cafe where they all think I'm a crack addict (that's in the Members Only thread) and they can do it when they all stand up to tell funny stories about me at my funeral. But in the meantime, I have to rise above.
I hope that makes more sense now, because I'm having a hard time expressing it. It's something I just have to live. In my life, and in my friendships right now, there are a lot of people telling me how messed up I am, and very few people telling me I have anything to offer; and I really feel I have something to offer; so I want to change that general phenomenon as much as I can, because the effect it's having on me is dragging me down. I could chuckle and say, "yeah, it's only human!" but that would be like living there, where there's no life really, and settling to define myself with the negative self-identity. And I just won't do that, because that's like giving up, resigning, taking the easy way out.
I hope this makes sense now. I'm pretty depressed, and I won't deny that. But I just don't think it's going to help for me to identify with it, as though that's all I am, is a messed up person.
texasgirl
MVP
SG, I am really sorry that you are so sad and recognize that there is not much that I could say that would alleviate your pain. To sum up my feelings on your comments, I always find them to be insightful, honest, and helpful to me personally. Take care of yourself.
stargazer
Member
Well, thanks. I'm feeling a little better. I had to wait until it was about eight in the morning so I could call a friend whom I know to be an early riser, just not as early at rising as I am. We talked for a while & he gave me some good insights. And I appreciate your help, Texasgirl--I was probably talking around the issue, because it's an area of confusion for me, I just lost a job, and I'm professionally frustrated as well as financially insolvent. The way I wish things were, and the way things are, are two different things; but obviously I have to deal with the way things are, otherwise things will never become the way I wish they were. So I do need to keep on, in doing that.
stargazer
Member
Huna methods?
ThatLady
Member
I found this regarding Huna methods, stargazer:
http://www.angelfire.com/mo/huna/lightsw.html
If you put "huna methods" into the Google search engine, it brings up quite a few sites. This was just the first one listed.
http://www.angelfire.com/mo/huna/lightsw.html
If you put "huna methods" into the Google search engine, it brings up quite a few sites. This was just the first one listed.
stargazer
Member
I read the information on Huna. I'd like to explore this somewhat further. Thanks.
I came here today because I've noticed that a high self-image I might have (often due to a positive professional event, such as the meeting we had in San Jose yesterday) will be often very quickly shot down by something such as an e-mail from my brother or sister reminding me that I disabled and probably should not be trying to work.
This leads me to believe that my self-esteem is attached too much to the opinions of others, or at the very least, to my perception of those opinions. I do believe that I can change this mind-set for the better.
Also, I've noticed that my happiness or sorrow seems to be a little bit too related to circumstance. Something bad happens, and of course I'm bummed, but I tend to bring back all the negative things that have ever happened, or ever could happen, as a result of that single incident.
Something good happens, and of course I'm happy, but I tend to become overjoyed, as though all problems have finally been solved.
Of course, this is unrealistic. I'm starting to practice bringing all things into perspective, and purposely taking the good with the bad. It helps.
I came here today because I've noticed that a high self-image I might have (often due to a positive professional event, such as the meeting we had in San Jose yesterday) will be often very quickly shot down by something such as an e-mail from my brother or sister reminding me that I disabled and probably should not be trying to work.
This leads me to believe that my self-esteem is attached too much to the opinions of others, or at the very least, to my perception of those opinions. I do believe that I can change this mind-set for the better.
Also, I've noticed that my happiness or sorrow seems to be a little bit too related to circumstance. Something bad happens, and of course I'm bummed, but I tend to bring back all the negative things that have ever happened, or ever could happen, as a result of that single incident.
Something good happens, and of course I'm happy, but I tend to become overjoyed, as though all problems have finally been solved.
Of course, this is unrealistic. I'm starting to practice bringing all things into perspective, and purposely taking the good with the bad. It helps.
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