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    "In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived,
    and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you."
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KimberlyAnnxx

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Apr 21, 2007
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My anxiety continues to get worse and worse, and my stress management is awful because of it... I need some advice or suggestions about moving out..
This is what I posted about my situation in this Psychlinks thread

For a little over a month, my mother has not spoken to me because i told her she needed to get help. She trashed my room three times one day because i left to get out of my house to study for my AP test... she yelled the whole night until 5am about what a bad person i am and how much she doesnt like me. It is frustrating, especially since i had school the next day.. I left the house that day also because i was angry at my father. I saw him talking to a woman online and I know he constantly watches pornography. It just makes me unconformable because I always have to make such a ca motion walking into any room that he's in because i know he will try to hide it if he hears me and I dont want to see it... Im almost 18, and those are the girls he's looking at.. I was just angry that he left that conversation up that he was having. It was more than friendly so I asked him if he was cheating on my mom. He said no.. that its just something he does.... I was angry because this is what he does instead of actually dealing with my mother.. :-/

Thank you so much for reading thus far, i know maybe all of this is silly.. but what i need help with is moving out. My boyfriend of 2 years (and 3 months ;-)) knows everything that goes on, and so does his mother. I talk to his mother frequently, and could not be luckier to have her help with everything. I feel so comfortable with his family and his mother has the biggest heart. I love Steve so much and there is nothing better in my life. I know that sounds silly, because we are so young, but right now, I couldnt be happier. :) I just know that moving in with your boyfriend now is not a good idea. I know that. But it is where i feel the most comfortable, and I am unsure of what to do... :-( I know i have to leave, I just have such bad anxiety whenever im home or whenever i think about coming home. My mother wont let me do anything, no hanging out with friends or anything. I work hard in school, and sometimes i just want a little break, just to see a movie with someone.. but she gets so angry and says im looking for a better mother or something.. i dont understand... My one girlfriend's parents would not like me staying for about a year, so i dont think i can move in with her. I'll be a senior in high school next year, so im hoping to stay somewhere for the year. Steves house is always open, and his mom said we'd limit the amount of time we see each other, make sure we have our own lives, etc.. My other girlfriends aunt and uncle live with drug addictions so her cousin is living with her, as well as an exchange student from Germany, so i would be an inconvenience... I just am not sure if it is okay to live with Steve... :-(
 
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Retired

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Kimberly,

Is there a Womens' Shelter in your community where you can get advice on your rights in your jurisdiction and perhaps be advised on a shelter for what sounds like a very tragic family situation in your home.

Have you considered inquiring at the local Legal Aid for advice about your rights?
 

KimberlyAnnxx

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Apr 21, 2007
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There are no shelters, and I spoke with counselors and a detective and school. Counselors say to leave and the detective says I cant do anything i want until im 18 and thats the law...

Thanks for responding..
 
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why not move in with your boyfriend's family for now, so you can finish this year at school in a supportive environment? you do not need to commit to a year, just go there for a few months to figure things out for yourself, with the help of his parents. i think you need some time in a quiet and calm environment to catch your breath, focus on finishing up your exams and then re-assess the situation. there is no rule that says you'd have to stay with them indefinitely.

unfortunately i have no idea about the legalities surrounding this but you could ask your boyfriend's parents to look into this.

even if there is a legal problem with it, it would take your parents a few months to get anything done, i would imagine, and by that time you will have turned 18. i do not know if they could even muster the energy to try and get you to come home.

i think in a regular situation, moving in with your boyfriend at this age would not be recommended, however, these are dire circumstances and you do not have a lot of options open to you. given everything you have written here i think your boyfriend's family would be your best bet at this time, make it an arrangement for a few months, and work towards a better solution in that time.
 

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