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Phew… if it wasn't for this:
Was down today... after reading that (like a big slap in the back of the head) I'm really depressed
The only part I manage to have going for me is my sense of humor.
But if I look back in time … that's 100% accurate... great
In the referenced article I'd think someone had written a blog about me
Was down today... after reading that (like a big slap in the back of the head) I'm really depressed
The only part I manage to have going for me is my sense of humor.
But if I look back in time … that's 100% accurate... great
If it's any consolation, William Glasser made the point that, despite lots of technological progress, we continue to live in a psychological stone age.
gooblax
MVP
I'm not sure if good old CBT-style thought challenging would be helpful, but in addition to your retained sense of humor:
You've got your friend who you spent time with recently, and you've been spending more time with the people in your community (even if it's just for dinner).
You don't always avoid getting help for things - you're posting here, you've been seeing your doctor, and even tried out the psychiatrist they referred you to.
All of those things in the article are things that you can gradually work on or improve over time if you don't like their current effects.
20 Expert Tactics for Dealing with Difficult People
Listening is the number one step in dealing with "unreasonable" people. Everyone wants to feel heard. No progress can take place until the other person feels acknowledged. While you're listening, really focus on what the other person is saying, not what you want to say next.
Listening is the number one step in dealing with "unreasonable" people. Everyone wants to feel heard. No progress can take place until the other person feels acknowledged. While you're listening, really focus on what the other person is saying, not what you want to say next.
Self-talk to avoid giving power to unwanted/intrusive/obsessive thoughts:
One thing that helps me is to break my workday up into little chunks. Breaking things into smaller bits is one of my main strategies for living with anxiety.
I can't face up to a whole day at work, but I can face it in 15 or 30 minute intervals. I kind of see it like crossing a creek by hopping from one stone to the next. I don't focus on getting though the day, I focus on getting through the next 15 minutes, one chunk at a time. I also try to stay focused on the task at hand, or what I'm doing right this minute.
I'm finding that practicing these two things at work makes the day more tolerable, and that the practice gets easier the more I do it.
~ Greg Weber
I can't face up to a whole day at work, but I can face it in 15 or 30 minute intervals. I kind of see it like crossing a creek by hopping from one stone to the next. I don't focus on getting though the day, I focus on getting through the next 15 minutes, one chunk at a time. I also try to stay focused on the task at hand, or what I'm doing right this minute.
I'm finding that practicing these two things at work makes the day more tolerable, and that the practice gets easier the more I do it.
~ Greg Weber
Retrain Your Brain: How to Reverse Negative Thinking Patterns | The Chopra Center
Change Your Surroundings
Sometimes your thoughts can seem so loud that the best thing to do is to change your physical surroundings. Take a walk in nature, go for a run, or meet up with a friend. The point is to engage in something other than the negative cycle so that you can come back to the problem later when you’re in a clearer headspace.
Choose an activity or location that you find enjoyable and you know will leave you feeling better. If you need the company of others, be sure to surround yourself with people who will encourage your positive thinking. (Steer clear of triggers!)
Negative thinking patterns, particularly when they’ve become habitual, can be hard to break. Patterns that have been in place for years won’t be undone overnight so it’s essential to be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through them.
Change Your Surroundings
Sometimes your thoughts can seem so loud that the best thing to do is to change your physical surroundings. Take a walk in nature, go for a run, or meet up with a friend. The point is to engage in something other than the negative cycle so that you can come back to the problem later when you’re in a clearer headspace.
Choose an activity or location that you find enjoyable and you know will leave you feeling better. If you need the company of others, be sure to surround yourself with people who will encourage your positive thinking. (Steer clear of triggers!)
Negative thinking patterns, particularly when they’ve become habitual, can be hard to break. Patterns that have been in place for years won’t be undone overnight so it’s essential to be compassionate and patient with yourself as you work through them.
Facts of Life: Ten Issues of Contentment - Kindle edition
by Michael C. Graham
Life should not be taken too seriously. Every analysis I have undertaken has come to one conclusion. Life is preposterous. There is no way to win and nobody gets out alive. We are not consulted regarding the circumstances of our birth or death or much of what happens in between. Life is a setup. Nevertheless, most of us cling to it desperately. In the face of the setup, we can give up, go through life wringing our hands in anxiety, or just appreciate the ridiculous coincidences and amazing twists of fate that continuously arise. I vote for the latter.
by Michael C. Graham
Life should not be taken too seriously. Every analysis I have undertaken has come to one conclusion. Life is preposterous. There is no way to win and nobody gets out alive. We are not consulted regarding the circumstances of our birth or death or much of what happens in between. Life is a setup. Nevertheless, most of us cling to it desperately. In the face of the setup, we can give up, go through life wringing our hands in anxiety, or just appreciate the ridiculous coincidences and amazing twists of fate that continuously arise. I vote for the latter.
How to Fight the Loneliness Epidemic
Dec 7, 2018
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely? I would argue that we can. And one major way we can do it is by taking on our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of negative thoughts toward ourselves and others that are at the root of much of our self-limiting and self-destructive behavior. This voice makes us feel like we are different and undeserving. Very often, when people feel their loneliest, they are very much in the company of this inner critic...
Connecting to other people can feel daunting when we’re under the spell of our critical inner voice. That is why the first step to countering our loneliness is to befriend ourselves. We should adopt an attitude toward ourselves that we would extend to any friend experiencing the same circumstances.
That means catching on to our critical inner voice and recognizing it as an external enemy rather than accepting it as our real point of view. It means responding to this voice with a more realistic, positive, and compassionate outlook. Finally, it means taking active steps to IGNORE its directives. This can be something as simple as taking a walk through our neighborhood, making eye contact or saying hello to someone we encounter. It can be a practice of asking a co-worker about themselves, meeting up with a friend, or making real time to talk to our partner.
Ignoring our inner critic and seeking connection is not only crucial to the quality of our lives, but new research shows relationships can also help us live longer. These relationships extend beyond our significant other and immediate family to include our friends and the community we create around ourselves. One study from Australia showed that strong social networks may lengthen survival in elderly men and women, and that good friends are even more likely to increase longevity than close family members.
While strong friendships may seem like an unsurprising contributor to good health, another study from 2014 revealed that “even social interactions with the more peripheral members of our social networks [i.e. acquaintances] contribute to our well-being.” In other words, finding any way—big or small—to make face-to-face, human contact is a worthwhile pursuit that we should not be dissuaded from by a distorted enemy within. Any step we take toward connection is a step to weaken our inner critic and shift our perspective, not just toward the outside world, but toward ourselves.
Dec 7, 2018
If loneliness is a state of mind, can we change our outlook to feel less lonely? I would argue that we can. And one major way we can do it is by taking on our “critical inner voice.” The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of negative thoughts toward ourselves and others that are at the root of much of our self-limiting and self-destructive behavior. This voice makes us feel like we are different and undeserving. Very often, when people feel their loneliest, they are very much in the company of this inner critic...
Connecting to other people can feel daunting when we’re under the spell of our critical inner voice. That is why the first step to countering our loneliness is to befriend ourselves. We should adopt an attitude toward ourselves that we would extend to any friend experiencing the same circumstances.
That means catching on to our critical inner voice and recognizing it as an external enemy rather than accepting it as our real point of view. It means responding to this voice with a more realistic, positive, and compassionate outlook. Finally, it means taking active steps to IGNORE its directives. This can be something as simple as taking a walk through our neighborhood, making eye contact or saying hello to someone we encounter. It can be a practice of asking a co-worker about themselves, meeting up with a friend, or making real time to talk to our partner.
Ignoring our inner critic and seeking connection is not only crucial to the quality of our lives, but new research shows relationships can also help us live longer. These relationships extend beyond our significant other and immediate family to include our friends and the community we create around ourselves. One study from Australia showed that strong social networks may lengthen survival in elderly men and women, and that good friends are even more likely to increase longevity than close family members.
While strong friendships may seem like an unsurprising contributor to good health, another study from 2014 revealed that “even social interactions with the more peripheral members of our social networks [i.e. acquaintances] contribute to our well-being.” In other words, finding any way—big or small—to make face-to-face, human contact is a worthwhile pursuit that we should not be dissuaded from by a distorted enemy within. Any step we take toward connection is a step to weaken our inner critic and shift our perspective, not just toward the outside world, but toward ourselves.
How to Manage the Anxiety That Comes With Change
When some people are nervous they drink more coffee, or smoke more cigarettes, or drink more cola or energy drinks - and then wonder why their tremors are off the Richter scale. If you're feeling edgy you need to limit stimulants, and also should eat well and regularly to avoid blood sugar crashes that can make you feel shaky.
When some people are nervous they drink more coffee, or smoke more cigarettes, or drink more cola or energy drinks - and then wonder why their tremors are off the Richter scale. If you're feeling edgy you need to limit stimulants, and also should eat well and regularly to avoid blood sugar crashes that can make you feel shaky.
On dealing with difficult people:
"Complainers have difficulty being positive. So one way of neutralizing the negativity is to shower them with optimism and validate their opinions. After a complaining rant, reassure them and build up their self-confidence with, “Everything’s fine, no worries” or “You’re really good at this” or “I’m certain this will work out.” Rinse, lather and repeat that positivity as needed. If you’ve absolutely tolerated all that you could, walk away."
-- Lynn Homisak
"Complainers have difficulty being positive. So one way of neutralizing the negativity is to shower them with optimism and validate their opinions. After a complaining rant, reassure them and build up their self-confidence with, “Everything’s fine, no worries” or “You’re really good at this” or “I’m certain this will work out.” Rinse, lather and repeat that positivity as needed. If you’ve absolutely tolerated all that you could, walk away."
-- Lynn Homisak
The PERMA Model: Your Scientific Theory of Happiness
Relationships
Relationships and social connections are one of the most important aspects of life. Humans are social animals that thrive on connection, love, intimacy, and a strong emotional and physical interaction with other humans. Building positive relationships with your parents, siblings, peers, and friends are important to spread love and joy. Having strong relationships gives you support in difficult times.
In an interview with Dr. Mitch Printein’s about his course on the psychology of popularity, he mentioned that there has been researching that shows that pain centers in our brain become activated when we are at risk of being isolated. This is because, in an evolutionary perspective, isolation would be the worse thing we could do for survival.
Relationships
Relationships and social connections are one of the most important aspects of life. Humans are social animals that thrive on connection, love, intimacy, and a strong emotional and physical interaction with other humans. Building positive relationships with your parents, siblings, peers, and friends are important to spread love and joy. Having strong relationships gives you support in difficult times.
In an interview with Dr. Mitch Printein’s about his course on the psychology of popularity, he mentioned that there has been researching that shows that pain centers in our brain become activated when we are at risk of being isolated. This is because, in an evolutionary perspective, isolation would be the worse thing we could do for survival.
Death by Chocolate
by Deniz Sidali, M.A.
...People with anxiety may refuse to leave their homes, meet people, avoid flying on planes, riding trains, or merely touching a doorknob out of their intense fears. By avoiding a multitude of aspects of their daily lives, people experiencing unhealthy anxiety are constantly reminding themselves that their time is limited on this earth. And during the process, they are ironically causing themselves to suffer day in and day out. This stress in and of itself may curtail years off a person’s life...
The goal is not to eliminate healthy concern which is necessary for our survival. The goal is to challenge our irrational beliefs which cause us to feel elevated levels of unhealthy anxiety which is counterproductive to our survival because we are overusing this alarm system and distorting our perception of reality. We could entertain the elegant solution by asking ourselves, “What would be the worst thing that could possibly happen if we were to die?” Well, if you don’t know the answer to this question, then how could you be so anxious and fearful of something that is unknown or intangible?
The concept of death, although unpleasant, varies based on the meaning you ascribe to it. In the Mexican culture, people celebrate and remember their deceased loved ones annually and have festivals. In Jewish culture, mourners sit shiva and talk about all the positive attributes of their departed loved ones. And in India, people can dine at a restaurant built atop a cemetery. So why is death not as aversive in these cultures? The bottom line is, we ascribe meaning to concepts of life and death and these situations are deemed joyous or anxiety/fear provoking through our positive or negative thoughts. So maybe we should celebrate both life and death.
by Deniz Sidali, M.A.
...People with anxiety may refuse to leave their homes, meet people, avoid flying on planes, riding trains, or merely touching a doorknob out of their intense fears. By avoiding a multitude of aspects of their daily lives, people experiencing unhealthy anxiety are constantly reminding themselves that their time is limited on this earth. And during the process, they are ironically causing themselves to suffer day in and day out. This stress in and of itself may curtail years off a person’s life...
The goal is not to eliminate healthy concern which is necessary for our survival. The goal is to challenge our irrational beliefs which cause us to feel elevated levels of unhealthy anxiety which is counterproductive to our survival because we are overusing this alarm system and distorting our perception of reality. We could entertain the elegant solution by asking ourselves, “What would be the worst thing that could possibly happen if we were to die?” Well, if you don’t know the answer to this question, then how could you be so anxious and fearful of something that is unknown or intangible?
The concept of death, although unpleasant, varies based on the meaning you ascribe to it. In the Mexican culture, people celebrate and remember their deceased loved ones annually and have festivals. In Jewish culture, mourners sit shiva and talk about all the positive attributes of their departed loved ones. And in India, people can dine at a restaurant built atop a cemetery. So why is death not as aversive in these cultures? The bottom line is, we ascribe meaning to concepts of life and death and these situations are deemed joyous or anxiety/fear provoking through our positive or negative thoughts. So maybe we should celebrate both life and death.
“Do not despise your inner world. That is the first and most general piece of advice I would offer… Our society is very outward-looking, very taken up with the latest new object, the latest piece of gossip, the latest opportunity for self-assertion and status. But we all begin our lives as helpless babies, dependent on others for comfort, food, and survival itself. And even though we develop a degree of mastery and independence, we always remain alarmingly weak and incomplete, dependent on others and on an uncertain world for whatever we are able to achieve. As we grow, we all develop a wide range of emotions responding to this predicament: fear that bad things will happen and that we will be powerless to ward them off; love for those who help and support us; grief when a loved one is lost; hope for good things in the future; anger when someone else damages something we care about. Our emotional life maps our incompleteness: A creature without any needs would never have reasons for fear, or grief, or hope, or anger. But for that very reason we are often ashamed of our emotions, and of the relations of need and dependency bound up with them...
What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings. Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories — in literature, film, visual art, music — that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world. So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love. In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.”
― Martha Nussbaum, Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two
What is the remedy of these ills? A kind of self-love that does not shrink from the needy and incomplete parts of the self, but accepts those with interest and curiosity, and tries to develop a language with which to talk about needs and feelings. Storytelling plays a big role in the process of development. As we tell stories about the lives of others, we learn how to imagine what another creature might feel in response to various events. At the same time, we identify with the other creature and learn something about ourselves. As we grow older, we encounter more and more complex stories — in literature, film, visual art, music — that give us a richer and more subtle grasp of human emotions and of our own inner world. So my second piece of advice, closely related to the first, is: Read a lot of stories, listen to a lot of music, and think about what the stories you encounter mean for your own life and lives of those you love. In that way, you will not be alone with an empty self; you will have a newly rich life with yourself, and enhanced possibilities of real communication with others.”
― Martha Nussbaum, Take My Advice: Letters to the Next Generation from People Who Know a Thing or Two
Consider why you might feel depressed. Sometimes depression is a symptom of something circumstantial in your life, rather than biochemical imbalances. Does your job require you to sell out your integrity every day? Have you been unable to admit that you need to end your marriage? Are you feeling spiritually disconnected or sexually restless? Are you suffering from creative blocks? Is your body failing you? Are you facing financial ruin? Be honest with yourself about what might be off-kilter in your life, and make an effort to get to the root of why you might be feeling depressed.
Source: 11 Natural Treatments For Depression - Psychology Today
Source: 11 Natural Treatments For Depression - Psychology Today
"Accept that there is a gap between your real self and your ideal self. (This is the case for pretty much everybody.)"
-- 50 Strategies to Beat Anxiety - Psychology Today
-- 50 Strategies to Beat Anxiety - Psychology Today
Try relabeling. Symptoms of anxiety and excitement are almost identical. If you feel revved up and think, "I'm getting anxious", it creates a destructive spiral. But if you think of it as “getting excited," you'll feel more prepared and capable.
-- Must-Have Coping Strategies for Social Anxiety - Psychology Today
-- Must-Have Coping Strategies for Social Anxiety - Psychology Today
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