Depression and anger

[dor]

I've been struggling with depression and anger for a long time. I have my highs, depending on changes in life, but have found when I am down, which is quite frequently lately, I feel angry. I've noticed that many depressed people are angry. I figure this anger is in response to the depression because there are few resolutions to depression and people get angry or blame other things on their situation. Does any one else feel this way? Does anger and depression go hand in hand? It does for me. I try to vent my angry feelings into some interests that make me feel good and then I get high on ideas which don't always work out. It's a constant cycle. I have alot of changes going on in my life right now. I have financial issues and relationships issues. Why do relationships have to be so hard. Sometimes it seems like a struggle. Life ain't easy.

 

[just mary]

Hi dor,

Does any one else feel this way? Does anger and depression go hand in hand?

I've heard that depression is anger turned inwards. I personally think that anger is a big part of depression. I know I can get very angry and stew about things for days on end, especially when I'm feeling low. I think I hide my anger but some people have picked up on it. And this is odd but it's usually men that notice it.:think:

However, it sounds like you're going through a tough time, with both financial and relationship issues. And I don't know why relationships have to be so hard. If it's a happy relationship - chances are you'll work through it, if not, maybe it's time to make a change. I'm not sure if this relates to you or not but someone once said "a happy marriage ends in divorce but a bad one goes on and on".

Take care dor.

 

[stargazer]

I find that when I'm depressed and there seems to be no resolution, it creates a kind of frustration or sense of futility that can easily lead to anger. When I feel trapped, I feel like fighting back at people who, for whatever reason, I have come to resent, even though they are not at all directly responsible for my depression. Like Mary, I have also heard that depression is "anger turned inward," but I really don't know which comes first. I'm not a person who is prone to expressing his anger in an effusive or demonstrative way, but when it festers within me, it really does interfere with my functioning and of course my peace of mind. I have no answer for this. I just pray. And if I'm behind the computer, I try and make sure not to click on "send" too often. The things I'm likely to say when I'm angry are often the kinds of things that are better left unsaid. Anyway, I don't have an answer.

I've been diagnosed bipolar but don't have any meds right now. I'm waiting to get in to see a doctor on the 16th of June. It's possible that there's some medication that can smooth all this out, but I also think that I'll probably be less depressed and less frustrated when my life-circumstances improve, and I have a decent income again. Money problems can definitely increase one's internal anger. And in my experience, the alleviation of financial problems gives me a kind of "breathing room" that usually puts me into a pretty good space.

 

[ThatLady]

Life definitely isn't easy! Sometimes, it gets so darn tough we wonder if we're going to be able to cope at all. The good part starts when we get by that bump in the road, look back, and realize we done it! Too often, we're so busy living we forget to do the looking back part, and the patting ourselves on the back for a job well done part. Life has its ups and downs. Live the ups to the fullest, and work hard through the hard parts. Never forget to commend yourself for having the guts to make it through those hard parts.

I think stargazer has some good points. When problems arise, it makes it more difficult to cope with the little disappointments that enter everyone's life on a day to day basis. If relationships are touchy, and finances are iffy, that can put enough stress into your life to make the little day to day things seem almost insurmountable at times. If you can sort problems into piles...those that can be handled easily, those that are going to take some real work, and those that simply can't be solved right now...it sometimes helps to get a focus on where you're going and how. Anger comes with frustration, and frustration is reduced by the development of workable plans of action.

 

[Rosa]

just wanted to say hi and welcome to the boards. I see you've already gotten lots of good advice so I'll just add one more thing. You wrote about wanting to turn your anger into something positive-are there any causes you feel strongly about...such as the enviorement, child abuse, etc. perhaps you could speak out in some way for these causes. If you wanted a physical way to get anger out you might try a physical sport-not that I suggest attacking someone in sport but maybe you could take up karate or judo or even working out might help.
Take care
Rosa

 

[Holly]

Welcome dor,
Borrowed that from Rosa, we all handle depression and angry very differently. It is part of each person's background and raising. I sure it is not easy having the ups and downs, I would suggest on the bad days, take one day at a time, find comfort in something you enjoy doing to maybe help your depression. Like treating yourself, be gentle to you, that is just one idea. If I having a bad day I try to do something I enjoy, I like to read, garden, like to music, maybe you can find something like that to try, life is not always easy, it is a journey with many detours. We make that journey each day, how we handle ourselves each day can help in the journey of life! I hope this is helpful, wishing you all the best in finding some peace of mind during the days you may be wondering about the changes in life!
Take care dor be kind to you,