Well here goes...I was having a reasonable day...I got a bit more done than I have been able to because I had a longer sleep last night than I have been having. Then out of the blue I feel disconnected...anxious, paranoid and start having thoughts that bad things could happen to me...especially things that have happened before...I don't know what to do...I feel like talking to someone but I would not know what to say or where to begin because I don't know what is wrong...I just don't feel right...a wave of uncertainty washes over me...I am not hungry, thirsty, sleepy or anything...I ate my dinner...the worst is feeling like I need to talk to someone but just not knowing what to say.....sadly I have no one to call either so that does not help but I have the distress centre number but I don't call them because I don't know what to say...
I feel during these times like there is something inside me that wants to burst out of me...I remember having that feeling since I was 19....but it is not as intense as it was back then...I think it is rage...because a lot of that has come out of me in the last twelve months....but I have lots of reasons to be angry ...can't point to what is bothering me in the moment...no one triggered me because no one has communicated with me in the last few hours...sigh...I hate this feeling...
I feel during these times like there is something inside me that wants to burst out of me...I remember having that feeling since I was 19....but it is not as intense as it was back then...I think it is rage...because a lot of that has come out of me in the last twelve months....but I have lots of reasons to be angry ...can't point to what is bothering me in the moment...no one triggered me because no one has communicated with me in the last few hours...sigh...I hate this feeling...