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Domestic violence: Don’t be just a bystander
By PAMELA HARRISON, Halifax Chronicle-Herald
July 8, 2012
We’re doing a lot. We have a domestic violence action plan and a pilot specialized domestic violence court.
We have transition houses along with a continuum of support services across Nova Scotia. So why are so many Nova Scotian women dying at the hands of their intimate partner?
Last weekend, another Nova Scotian woman was shot to death by her partner, who then committed suicide. It was exactly two years after the death of Tina Eisner (her husband is awaiting trial). Paula Gallant’s husband is serving 15 years for her murder. Laura Lee Robinson’s fianc? was recently sentenced to seven years in prison for manslaughter in her death. Ottila Chareka’s husband awaits his preliminary hearing for her death, to name but a few.
Were there no signs of danger? Did these women see themselves as living with a dangerous man? Did they ever wonder, reading the newspaper, or hearing the TV news of another woman killed by her partner, if it would ever happen to them? Did they even equate the troubles in their relationship with abuse or violence? Did others?
We think not. Women, in many cases, love their partners and just want the abuse or violence to stop. Abusive behaviour, threats with guns or other weapons, “occasionally becoming violent” are part and parcel of their daily lives. The bizarre becomes normal, and it becomes difficult for them to see themselves in stories of violence and death of other women.
Nova Scotians are generally a polite bunch, prepared to mind our own business, even if the goings-on around us are disturbing. Many may be pretty sure the guy across the street gets “heavy handed with his wife,” or “slaps the heck out of her,” or “leaves his gun out in plain sight, loaded, even when it’s not hunting season.” Even knowing something “isn’t right,” it’s still hard for most people to get involved.
Dr. Jackson Katz (Jackson Katz | Anti-Sexist Activist, Speaker, Author, Film-maker) would say the only wrong thing to do as a bystander is to do nothing. It is very often dangerous to interfere, but there are other options. You can call the police (anonymously, if you wish,) or call a shelter or outreach organization that works with abused women and get their advice.
Do something! Your life, or the life of a woman you love, may depend on it.
Pamela Harrison is provincial co-ordinator, Transition House Association of Nova Scotia.
By PAMELA HARRISON, Halifax Chronicle-Herald
July 8, 2012
We’re doing a lot. We have a domestic violence action plan and a pilot specialized domestic violence court.
We have transition houses along with a continuum of support services across Nova Scotia. So why are so many Nova Scotian women dying at the hands of their intimate partner?
Last weekend, another Nova Scotian woman was shot to death by her partner, who then committed suicide. It was exactly two years after the death of Tina Eisner (her husband is awaiting trial). Paula Gallant’s husband is serving 15 years for her murder. Laura Lee Robinson’s fianc? was recently sentenced to seven years in prison for manslaughter in her death. Ottila Chareka’s husband awaits his preliminary hearing for her death, to name but a few.
Were there no signs of danger? Did these women see themselves as living with a dangerous man? Did they ever wonder, reading the newspaper, or hearing the TV news of another woman killed by her partner, if it would ever happen to them? Did they even equate the troubles in their relationship with abuse or violence? Did others?
We think not. Women, in many cases, love their partners and just want the abuse or violence to stop. Abusive behaviour, threats with guns or other weapons, “occasionally becoming violent” are part and parcel of their daily lives. The bizarre becomes normal, and it becomes difficult for them to see themselves in stories of violence and death of other women.
Nova Scotians are generally a polite bunch, prepared to mind our own business, even if the goings-on around us are disturbing. Many may be pretty sure the guy across the street gets “heavy handed with his wife,” or “slaps the heck out of her,” or “leaves his gun out in plain sight, loaded, even when it’s not hunting season.” Even knowing something “isn’t right,” it’s still hard for most people to get involved.
Dr. Jackson Katz (Jackson Katz | Anti-Sexist Activist, Speaker, Author, Film-maker) would say the only wrong thing to do as a bystander is to do nothing. It is very often dangerous to interfere, but there are other options. You can call the police (anonymously, if you wish,) or call a shelter or outreach organization that works with abused women and get their advice.
Do something! Your life, or the life of a woman you love, may depend on it.
Pamela Harrison is provincial co-ordinator, Transition House Association of Nova Scotia.
