• Quote of the Day
    "You are much deeper, much broader, much brighter than any idea you could have of yourself."
    Harry Palmer, posted by Daniel

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“Don’t light yourself on fire trying to brighten someone else’s existence.”

— Unknown
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Re: Quotes about Domestic Violence

“Leaving an abusive partner is a very difficult thing to do. It frequently feels like you are failing, or destroying your family, or not trying to work things out, or not giving your partner a second chance.”

― Blaine Nelson
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Re: Quotes about Domestic Violence

“Never let someone who contributes so little to a relationship control so much of it.”

― Unknown
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Re: Quotes about Domestic Violence

“You survived the abuse, you’re going to survive the recovery.”

— Mariska Hargitay
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Re: Quotes about Domestic Violence

"As long as women are fundamentally seen as less worthy than men, the violence they experience directly in abusive relationships will simply be repeated in other, subtler ways throughout their lives, as they move from the men who attack them to the bosses who pay them less or the male co-workers who denigrate their contributions."

Sady Doyle
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“The boys had always been her reason to stay, but now for the first time they were her reason to leave. She’d allowed violence to become a normal part of their life.”

― Liane Moriarty
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Re: Quotes about Domestic Violence

“Trauma creates change you don’t choose. Healing is about creating change you do choose.”

— Michelle Rosenthall​
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
"It's hard for most of us to go through a typical day outside the home without some humiliating incident, however trivial, without some frustrating reminder of how limited our power is, how unimportant we are. The relationships we want to spend our lives in should be a refuge from this. If they are just a source of more humiliation, they're not healthy places to stay in."

― Mira Kirshenbaum, Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Women hear it all the time from men. "You're overreacting," we tell them. "Don't worry about it so much, you're over-thinking it." "Don't be so sensitive." "Don't be crazy." It's a form of gaslighting -- telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don't have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else's feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they're supposed to feel.

~ Harris O'Malley, Men really need to stop calling women crazy - The Washington Post
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
Do You Confuse Admiration with Love? Tales of a Covert Narcissist

Be sensitive to yourself when considering your choice of a partner. Be aware of the seductive charm and charisma of the Overt Narcissist. Look for someone who is not self-centered; someone who is interested in other people and who considers their feelings; someone who is not vain or egotistical. Look for a person who is unassuming and down-to-earth rather than someone who is charismatic or the “life of the party”.
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

― Maya Angelou
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“There'a a phrase, "the elephant in the living room", which purports to describe what it's like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, "How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn't you see the elephant in the living room?" And it's so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; "I'm sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn't know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture." There comes an aha-moment for some folks―the lucky ones―when they suddenly recognize the difference.”

― Stephen King
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“YOUR ABUSIVE PARTNER DOESN’T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIS ANGER; HE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOUR ANGER.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn’t rise and your blood shouldn’t boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy.”

“An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”

“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you that way because he can get away with it. I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating. When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later. Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He will promise to change. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance. He’ll get severely depressed, causing her to worry whether he’ll be all right. And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do.”

― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“It's not fair. It's not fair that he lets his rage take over, that he lets it rule him. I don't know why he has to let it rule him. I don't know why he has to be two people.

I don't know why he gets to be two people, and I only get to be me, the one who is here to take what he has to give, and who is here to pick up the pieces afterward.”

― Amanda Grace, But I Love Him
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.”

― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence -- From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“Shame is internalized when one is abandoned. Abandonment is the precise term to describe how one loses one’s authentic self and ceases to exist psychologically.”

― John Bradshaw, Healing the Shame that Binds You
 

Daniel

Forum Supporter
MVP
Joined
Aug 5, 2004
Messages
19,635
Points
113
“Excuses are a promise of repetition.”

― Stefan Molyneux
 

Top Bottom