Quotes about Abuse, Domestic Violence

[Daniel E.]

Rationalization (psychology) - Wikipedia

Some rationalizations take the form of a comparison...

• "At least [what occurred] is not as bad as [a worse outcome]."
• In response to unfair or abusive behaviour: "I must have done something wrong if they treat me like this."

 

[Daniel E.]

"For women in particular, domestic violence is a leading cause of homelessness...Top causes of homelessness among families were: (1) lack of affordable housing, (2) unemployment, (3) poverty, and (4) low wages, in that order."

~ National Homelessness Law Center

 

[Daniel E.]

 

[Daniel E.]

~ R.H. Sin, Tumblr

 

[Daniel E.]

Intimate Partner Violence: A Pathway to Suicide | FBI: Law Enforcement Bulletin

Officers play an important part in preventing victims from taking tragic actions.

leb.fbi.gov

Few victims report their initial domestic victimization, with most not doing so until they have endured multiple assaults. Therefore, any report probably indicates a long history of violence.

 

[Daniel E.]

Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior in which the perpetrator insults, humiliates, and generally instills fear in an individual in order to control them. The individual's reality may become distorted as they internalize the abuse as their own failings.

www.psychologytoday.com

Most victims of abusive or violent relationships eventually leave. It often takes several attempts, but a few common themes emerge from womens’ experience finally ending the relationship. One step is confronting reality, by acknowledging that the circumstances will not change, becoming educated about emotional abuse, and realizing the abuse is not the victim’s fault, which allows them to recover a sense of self-worth. Another step is accepting help from family, friends, or a therapist, who can see the situation clearly and provide resources and support. Another factor is the desire to protect the children from witnessing abuse or being abused themselves. The last factor for some is reaching a breaking point, where fear simply becomes overwhelming.

 

[Daniel E.]

“It makes me think that everyone is very wrong, that love should have many conditions. Love should require both partners to be their very best at all times. Unconditional love is an undisciplined love, and as we all have seen, undisciplined love is disastrous.”

― Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

 

[Daniel E.]

Why Blame-Shifting Is a Form of Verbal Abuse

Not every form of verbal abuse requires a raised voice; in fact, blame-shifting is both subtle and highly manipulative.

www.psychologytoday.com

Threats work when there’s an imbalance of power. When your intimate turns to you and says, “Well, if you’re so unhappy, why don’t you just leave?," this is yet another tactic of deflection. Whatever complaint you might have voiced is stripped of its legitimacy and agency because the underlying message is that you’re just a whiner who likes whining; the threat makes you singularly alert and panicked.

 

[Daniel E.]

3 Mindsets That Lead to Toxic Relationships

Even when it's clear that an intimate relationship isn't working, our tendency is often to stay. These are the habits of mind that keep us stuck and unhappy.

www.psychologytoday.com

Asking yourself which part of you is showing up at this moment—is this your empowered self, or the one who’s scared of being on her own? The one who can be confident, or the one who’s terrified of making a mistake?—should be part of your strategy...

Let’s say you had a confrontation with your partner that didn’t end well, but, at least this time, you held your own and voiced your opinion. Yes, you can criticize yourself for folding at the end, but at the same time, appreciate the progress you made by speaking your truth.

Leaving where we’ve been, even when it makes us unhappy, can be complicated. But it can be done.

 

[Daniel E.]

5 signs someone you love has Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Tikvah Lake Florida

In more recent years, Narcissistic Personality Disorder has become the new kid on the block – especially among the general population. Learn more.

www.tikvahlake.com

Since therapists are often unaware of the depths of emotional abuse coming from the narcissist, they likely take what they see at face value. What tends to happen is that the other half of the couple (the victim) gets blamed for most of the struggles in the relationship since they often come across as subdued and quiet in therapy sessions.

 

[Daniel E.]

Traumatic bonding - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Among battered women, a three-phase process can explain the intermittent reward-punishment cycle. During phase one, there is a gradual increase in tension, followed by an "explosive battering incident" in phase two, which is then followed by a peaceful expression of love and affection from the abuser during phase three. The recurring and cyclical nature of these phases gives rise to a trauma bond.

 

[Daniel E.]

"If I die, I want you to tell the world what happened to me. I don't want other women to suffer as I have suffered. I want them to be listened to."

~ Maria Teresa Macias

 

[Daniel E.]

Law Victim Advocate

www.phoenix.gov

A Victim Advocate is a person who assists victims throughout the criminal process, providing information, support, and resources, help with protective orders, help with submitting Victim Impact Statements and Restitution information, and generally guiding victims through every stage of a case.

 

[Daniel E.]

Domestic Violence Resources

US:

Local Resources

Domestic violence local resources listed state by state. Help for survivors, including primary & preventive care services.

www.thehotline.org

Canada:

Find family violence resources and services in your area - Canada.ca

Find help dealing with family violence

www.canada.ca

 

[Daniel E.]

How to spot an abuser on the first date - Columbia Star

In South Carolina, we are constantly bombarded with news of domestic violence, including our incredibly high homicide rate. We hear and read stories of men abusing the women they claim to care about all the time. We may have even seen abuse in our own families, communities – or experienced it in...

www.thecolumbiastar.com

One main tactic utilized by abusers is minimizing, denying, and blaming. Someone who abuses his partner believes he is entitled to have power and control in the relationship. It is these feelings of entitlement— not an anger problem— that causes him to abuse...

As Maya Angelou said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

 

[Daniel E.]

Resolution On Male Violence Against Women

Violence against women is a major cause of reduced quality of life, distress, injury and death for women and has serious secondary effects for families, communities and the economy

www.apa.org

More than one in five adult women experience at least one physical assault by a partner during adulthood; as many as one of every two women are affected by sexual harassment over the course of their working lives; and approximately one in eight women have experienced a sexual assault in their lifetimes.

Gender and gender relations play critical roles in directing male violence toward women.

Cultural norms and expectations play critical roles in promoting and shaping male violence against women.

Women living in poverty are at especially high risk for all types of violence--particularly severe and life threatening assaults.

Assaultive and lethal violence against women remain high, despite two decades of increased awareness and legislation.

 

[Daniel E.]

Women Who Overturn Gender Norms Face More Violence In Marriage: Study

Husbands use violence to sabotage their wives' employment and working prospects. This includes jealousy over wives talking to other men, accusations of infidelity, and monitoring of their whereabouts

www.indiaspend.com

"You can look at this [domestic violence] as the male backlash that occurs when women try to break away from existing rules as not much effort has been made to address masculine notions of men."

 

[Daniel E.]

NCADV | National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

NCADV is the voice of victims and survivors. We are the catalyst for changing society to have zero tolerance for domestic violence. We do this by affecting public policy, increasing understanding of the impact of domestic violence, and providing programs and education that drive that change.

ncadv.org

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) was launched nationwide in October 1987 as a way to connect and unite individuals and organizations working on domestic violence issues while raising awareness for those issues. Over the past 30+ years, much progress has been made to support domestic violence victims and survivors, to hold abusers accountable, and to create and update legislation to further those goals.

 

[Daniel E.]

Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: The Cultic Relationship

Captive Hearts, Captive Minds Captive Hearts, Captive Minds: Freedom and Recovery from Cults and Abusive Relationships By Madeleine L. Tobias and Janja Lalich The Cultic Relationship Cults may be large or small. What defines them is not their size but their behavior. In addition to the...

forum.psychlinks.ca

In the one-on-one cult, which we call a cultic relationship, there is a significant power imbalance between the two participants. The stronger uses his (of her) influence to control, manipulate, abuse, and exploit the other. In essence the cultic relationship is a one-on-one version of the larger group. It may even be more intense than participation in a group cult since all the attention and abuse is focused on one person, often with more damaging consequences.

 

[Daniel E.]

"Arguing with a Narcissist is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you."

~ Youtube comment