Getting very stressed out with my doctors

[Steven_v]

no comment from anyone, i knew it because you're all thinking the same thing that iam. that iam some kind of sicko who should be locked away or should have killed himself when he first tried

 

[Halo]

I don't think that you are a sicko and trust me I don't think any less of you for what you posted. I do think that you are courageous and strong to be able to post what you did and I can now understand your overwhelming urge to go see your doctor. I don't think that what you did was all that bad but maybe talking to your doctor will help you to overcome this.

Again, I don't think that you are a sicko or anything like that. You are human.

Please take care

 

[Steven_v]

its really worrying me sick aswell because i really need to tell my doctor but, (even thought iam pretty sure ive told one of my doctors before) iam afriad that there gona put me on a sex offenders list or something.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

No, they won't do that, Steven. That said, I'm not sure why you feel this pressing need to tell someone now - you indicated that this happened some time ago and, as your doctors told you previously, that alone does not make you a pedophile.

How old were you when this happened, Steven?

 

[Steven_v]

16-17, it could be partly cause ive supressed, partly because i think ive already told one of my doctors, and partly because of my o.c.d. and i opsess about things like that and the only thing tht eases it is to tell people.

 

[ThatLady]

no comment from anyone, i knew it because you're all thinking the same thing that iam. that iam some kind of sicko who should be locked away or should have killed himself when he first tried

Not at all, Steven. I had to step away from the computer for a few minutes. I don't see you as a "sicko" at all. I see you as a troubled young man who's worrying himself sick over a past incident that wasn't really all that terrible. You've done nothing to hurt anyone, and you certainly don't sound like a paedophile to me...nor to your doctors at the time, apparently.

This is certainly something you should discuss with your doctors. Not because it's such an awful thing, but because it bothers you so much. Your doctors will be able to help you put this thing in perspective and see it for what it really is.

You've told us now. Hopefully, that will help to relieve the obsession you have to tell someone. Believe me, what you've told us doesn't lower you in my eyes. You're still Steven and I'm glad you're here!

 

[David Baxter PhD]

For the most part, at age 16-17 it is too early to have one's sexuality or sexual prefereences entrenched - you're still developing and evolving as a human being at that age.

Also, note that the general rule of thumb is that even where there is an actual interaction between the individual and a child, it would not generally be considered pedophilia unless the individual were at least 5 years older than the child in question. And in your case, there was no actual interaction - and there is a world of difference between sexual fantasy and sexual behavior. This does not sound like something you need be worrying about unless it becomes a repeated and compulsive feature of your behavior.

 

[Holly]

Hi Steven_v,
I have not had a chance to make a comment, sort of been on and off line this past weekend. Personally, your getting help, and that is what is important, your posting, letting the forum know your feelings about this experience. It must be very difficult, I am sure for you to trust people, and when you do not feel well. I think it is important Steven_v to let forum members post when there are ready. I do not think any different of you, I hope you can reach your doctor, call someone if you feel you could hurt yourself.
Steven_v you could call the crisis line for help, if you feel you can not reach your doctor.
You may need different medicine, you may need the mood stabilizer Dr. Baxter suggested in another post Steven_v, and I hope you reach your doctor so he/she can help you during this time.

 

[Steven_v]

so my worries that i might be pedophile are just that worries. the only backlash ive had form it apart from manic depression. is the occasional intrusive sexaul thought, wich i can asure youre i do not have any desire to act on iam sickened by them and they are the cause of of most of my suicidal feelings. my doctors say that they think its when i opsess about what i did that these thoughts became more regualer and promenent to me, and i would have to agree, when iam not thinking about what i did at all i can go days without an intrusive thought.

is this what you ment by a reapeted compulsive behaviour

 

[Steven_v]

iam not sure if that counts as a repeated and compulsive feature my your behavior

 

[Steven_v]

anybody?

sorry iam obssesin again

 

[Holly]

Hi Steven_v,
Can you call someone who you could talk with about what is happening today? Maybe book another appointment with the doctor, just a thought!

 

[Steven_v]

have been trying to book an apointment, if i cant get one by tomorow i'll get one with my gp.
p.s. just like to say a huge thank you to everybody who'se posted you've been a huge help today and still feel preety bad but no where need as much as i did earlier. Cheers Guys

 

[ThatLady]

Getting an appointment to discuss this with your doctor is the right thing to do, Steven. From what you've told us here, there's certainly no indication that you're a paedophile. However, your obsession with worrying about it is causing you a lot of grief and really needs to be addressed. I hope you can get an appointment soon.

 

[Steven_v]

cheers guys, just got to figure out how iam gona get any kind of sleep know with the way iam felleing. hmm....

 

[David Baxter PhD]

Guilt - usually undeserved guilt - about sex or religion are common themes in certain forms of OCD, bipolar disorder, or various psychotic disorders.

Try to regard them as worries - they are not reality - they are just anxieties - representing someone you don't want to be and also someone who you are not.

 

[Steven_v]

well ive been trying and trying to get an apointment and i still cant and i cant even get an apointment with my gp till next tuesday.

plus been getting realy worried today that when i do tell one of my dr. they're gona put me on some kind of list. i knoe David said they would'nt but it might work differently here in england.

but iam gona tell them either way i need to

 

[ThatLady]

The chances of your being put on "some kind of list" for the things you've mentioned here are about a billion to one, Steven. From what I can see, you haven't done anything all that abnormal. You were still a teen when this happened, and teens don't have themselves sorted out yet; particularly, with regard to their sexuality.

 

[Steven_v]

i was gona write it down basicaly what ive told you guys to give to what ever doctors i see, i think that will make it easier for me to tell them

 

[ThatLady]

That's an excellent idea, Steven. I know it's worked quite well for others here.