Getting very stressed out with my doctors

[Halo]

Steven,

I think that Phoenix has some really good suggestions for how to talk to your doctor. I know that it is hard and you will probably feel weird for doing it on a day when you are feeling "okay" but don't let it go because it is something that you definitely need to discuss with him.

Good luck with your appt. and let us know how it goes.

 

[ThatLady]

The best way to talk to a doctor is straight up and truthful. Tell them the truth, and tell them all of it. Tell your doctor about the mood swings. That explains why you seem fine one morning, and find yourself looking out of a deep, dark hole by evening.

 

[Into The Light]

steven, the changes in mood are what caused a lot of problems for me. it made me second guess myself constantly on how i was doing. i'd feel ok and think there was nothing wrong, i kept telling myself i was fine when in fact i was anything but. don't let the positive mood fool you like it fooled me. my depression became severe because i could not recognize what was happening. i really got into trouble after that.

i think the suggestions to even say to your doctor you feel a little stupid bringing this up because you feel okay now are very good. you can then proceed to tell him what's been happening.

let us know how you do.

 

[oversight]

I see you have a lot of replies so I'll be brief. If you aren't getting along as well as you expect you deserve to with your present doctor, get another doctor. Other than money, you owe him/her nothing. Do not become dependent on a single doctor. Depending on the statistics you look at, between 48,000 and 200,000 patients die from malpractice in this country every year. 80,000 may die from hospital infections. Put those keywords in google and look for yourself.

Doctors aren't perfect. Some are pretty good. Some are actually really poor, as 5% of doctors cause 50% of the malpractice cases across all specialties. State medical boards only discipline the worst.

Go to www.ratemd.com where patients post reviews and look for a good doctor.

If your situation involves past malpractice, you may need to travel far away from your local area to find doctors who aren't cooperating with the local medical-political system. One telling clue is if your new doctor asks you for the name of your past doctor, then disappears for a few minutes. I speak from my own experience.

May your fortunes improve.

 

[solitary man]

I wouldn't say I'm stressed out with my doctor...yet.

I had another session on Thursday, and I guess with the infrequent sessions we've had since I started seeing him, I find him to be a little unorganized and unfocused.

I found that he was asking me the same questions we covered a few sessions before, and the 12 page questionaire he had fill out, he couldn't locate.

I would have expected for him to re-read his notes on our previous sessions before hand.

The one thing that annoyed me the most was during our sessions he received an email and checked it.

It's almost as bad as answering a phone during a play or movie.

My next appointment is on the 9th of Nov.

Hopefully things will improve.

 

[ThatLady]

If I were you, solitary man, I'd discuss these concerns with the therapist directly. Doctors are not gods. If they mess up, they need to be told they're messing up. You're the client; therefore, you have a right to have your concerns addressed and answers given.

If we don't demand our rights we are tacitly allowing those rights to be ignored. It's our responsibility to see that we're treated with respect, and that our needs are met. It's the therapists responsibility to react to our concerns and address our demands for proper treatment.

 

[Into The Light]

is this supposed to be your therapist? you may want to bring up your concerns. if things don't improve, you may need to look elsewhere.

 

[Into The Light]

steven we haven't heard from you in a while, i assume this means you've gone to the hospital and are receiving help. i hope this is the case. let us know, when you are back, how you are and how things went.

 

[solitary man]

Whoops, I meant I filled out a 12 page questionaire...still he couldn't locate it.

Yes, at my next appointment, I will be addressing my concerns.

Thanks.

 

[Steven_v]

http://www.mindfreedom.org/mindfreedom/madpride/

 

[oversight]

I had another session on Thursday, and I guess with the infrequent sessions we've had since I started seeing him, I find him to be a little unorganized and unfocused.

How would you like to get on an airplane flown by a pilot who seemed unorganized and unfocused?

I found that he was asking me the same questions we covered a few sessions before, and the 12 page questionaire he had fill out, he couldn't locate.

Maybe he spends his day thinking of other things besides his patients. Maybe his patients are an interruption to him. After all that doctors have invested in their career, some find that being a doctor isn't for them. Many doctors went into it because they come from a family of doctors. Many got bad advice from a guidance couselor or parent who wanted their child to be what they weren't.

I would have expected for him to re-read his notes on our previous sessions before hand.

Yes, that would be showing responsibility. But if he makes a mistake and you want him to fix it, do you think he will suddenly spring into action for you? Consider this to be a clue about his level of adult responsibility.

The one thing that annoyed me the most was during our sessions he received an email and checked it.

He doesn't know what to do with you. Your condition is a mystery to him. He doesn't seem to be interested in helping you, reading his e-mail seems more urgent to him.

It's almost as bad as answering a phone during a play or movie.

You are suggesting you are passive entertainment to him, perhaps like re-run of a Gilligans Island? Perhaps he is being passive aggressive, trying to give a hint. Most people are literally locked into thinking that doctors are superior and are in a position to save them. It sounds like this doctor is drifting in the wide ocean, and will not ever be there for you. But you are always there for him. You seem to be in a dysfunctional relationship with this doctor.

My next appointment is on the 9th of Nov.

Hopefully things will improve.

Famous last words, thought hundreds of previous times by victims in dysfunctional relationships with alcoholics, violent spouses, and bad doctors.

 

[ThatLady]

...or, it just could be that the doctor was having a bad day. They are, after all, human.

When something like this happens, approaching it assertively is, most often, the most successful thing you can do. Discuss what happened with the therapist and let the therapist know how what happened effected you. After discussing it, you should be able to tell without much question whether this is the therapist for you.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

He doesn't know what to do with you. Your condition is a mystery to him. He doesn't seem to be interested in helping you, reading his e-mail seems more urgent to him.

That is pure speculation, given that none of us know the facts other than those brief descriptions posted by solitary man... as ThatLady said, it may have been just a bad day for him.

The best strategy for solitary man at this point is to address what happens and make a decision based on the answers he gets. I'm not sure that jumping to catastrophic conclusions is very helpful right now.

 

[solitary man]

I'm not one to make conclusions of anything or anyone without some research or asking many questions.

I will be addressing my concerns at my next sessions. After all, I am entrusting this doctor with things that I have never discussed with anyone else, much less acknowledged to myself.

Am I wrong to expect someone who is upmost professional, organized and willing to give me 45 minutes of undivided attention? I think not.

I could make many assumptions about him, the way he could of me, but we don't know each other very well.

Sure, there's a part of me that somewhat believes that with his experience, he can provide me with answers, or at least help me find clarity on the things I'm going through.

But at the same time, I'm not going to do this blindly.

If I had my druthers, I would have preferred to work with a female doctor.


Logical thinking would dictate that it doesn't matter who you speak to, but I grew up with the thought that if you need assistance, it meant that you are incapable, and working with a male doctor only drives it home harder.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

If I had my druthers, I would have preferred to work with a female doctor.

Logical thinking would dictate that it doesn't matter who you speak to, but I grew up with the thought that if you need assistance, it meant that you are incapable, and working with a male doctor only drives it home harder.

Actually, I think it DOES make a difference who you talk to in therapy - it needs to be someone you trust, feel comfortable with, and have confidence in. And different people DO prefer a male or female therapist - that's a matter of personal preference.

But whoever you see, it certainly does NOT make you incapable or a failure.

 

[Into The Light]

I grew up with the thought that if you need assistance, it meant that you are incapable

it takes a lot of courage to admit one needs help, and to go out and get it. the first time i was depressed i did not know what was wrong with me. my family doctor referred me to a psychologist, but i was too embarrassed to go. i thought i was a failure for needing help. i never went, and looking back i wish i had. it would have saved me a lot of suffering. this time around i did go, and i have since realized that there is absolutely no shame in that. it shows strength and courage to admit there is a problem, and that you can't solve it on your own. also, once you start getting the help, you will feel better.

 

[oversight]

The best strategy for solitary man at this point is to address what happens and make a decision based on the answers he gets. I'm not sure that jumping to catastrophic conclusions is very helpful right now.

I believe that the second doctor, whom solitary man has doubts about, is a psychiatrist. And the complaint at this point was based on experiencing more than one visit. If I am wrong, then my reaction may be premature and please correct me.

Also, it is a reasonable assumption that a psychiatrist would naturally be more attuned and sensitive than a regular MD who sees the patient for 5 minutes. My previous rant was based on my experience and other data regarding non-mental health MD's.

On the other hand, we all come with our own biases and subconscious investments that substitute for truth in areas we lack actual knowledge of truth. This is what others observe about each of us. Even "mental health patients" can make accurate judgements about their doctors for their own best interests. If soltiary man continues to have strong doubts after several visits to his second doctor, then it would be rational for him to find another doctor. In any case, the goal is a more therapeutic working relationship with his second doctor, either his present one or another one.

 

[David Baxter PhD]

If solitary man continues to have strong doubts after several visits to his second doctor, then it would be rational for him to find another doctor. In any case, the goal is a more therapeutic working relationship with his second doctor, either his present one or another one.

I don't disagree with that at all.

 

[ThatLady]

Although in reading solitary man's posts, I don't see where the conclusion can be drawn that the doctor he's concerned about is a psychiatrist, I think we all expressed the belief that solitary man needs to discuss his feelings and make a decision as to whether this is the right physician for him. To me, that's a given in any doctor/patient relationship.

 

[oversight]

Although in reading solitary man's posts, I don't see where the conclusion can be drawn that the doctor he's concerned about is a psychiatrist

On the first page:

a couple of weeks ago i went to my consultant doctor at the mental health ward of my hospital, for a check up. id barely said five( most of wich he didnt listen to) words to him before he said i think your doing fine ushered me out of the room and said i'll see you in the new year. he did say anything when i told him i wasnt doing well, or that id took myself of my medication

Hi Steve, was reading your post here and got to thinking like the others here about your psychologist backing you up with a letter to the psychiatrist.

foghlaim made the assumption first that second doctor was a psychiatrist. On the second page it is so:

ok, just been to my GP and he said that he cant really do much cause my psychiatrist is under no obligation to listen to him.