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Re: Grounding Techniques
Ya know,I really do try to help myself,that's why I ask questions so often.
It seems like every time I do ask a question it gets ignored.I asked the above question 3 days ago and have been patiently waiting for a response.
I seriously give up.Maybe it's because of the stupid thing I did here last month,I don't know,but I sure don't feel like I am a part of Psychlinks anymore.Don't worry,I won't be here anymore to bother anyone with all my annoying,stupid questions.
Ya know,I really do try to help myself,that's why I ask questions so often.
It seems like every time I do ask a question it gets ignored.I asked the above question 3 days ago and have been patiently waiting for a response.
I seriously give up.Maybe it's because of the stupid thing I did here last month,I don't know,but I sure don't feel like I am a part of Psychlinks anymore.Don't worry,I won't be here anymore to bother anyone with all my annoying,stupid questions.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Re: Grounding Techniques
Two things:
1. Our members are in many different time zones and most have other obligations and responsibilities, as well as their own issues. I have a full time private practice and at times even when I'm logged in it's to correct a technical issue rather than to read threads here.
2. Beyond that, as with your other thread today where you expressed frustration, a big part of the problem is that you ask rather vague or general questions with little or no detail. Generally, you will find you'll get more replies when you ask one or two specific questions and then follow that up with other specific questions. The two threads I've just looked at (between tasks on a work day) are both very general indeed. I'm not sure where or how to begin to answer them without going into a much longer general response which I just don't have time to do these days.
This is simply the way a community like Psychlinks functions. There is nothing personal or punitive about the situation.
Two things:
1. Our members are in many different time zones and most have other obligations and responsibilities, as well as their own issues. I have a full time private practice and at times even when I'm logged in it's to correct a technical issue rather than to read threads here.
2. Beyond that, as with your other thread today where you expressed frustration, a big part of the problem is that you ask rather vague or general questions with little or no detail. Generally, you will find you'll get more replies when you ask one or two specific questions and then follow that up with other specific questions. The two threads I've just looked at (between tasks on a work day) are both very general indeed. I'm not sure where or how to begin to answer them without going into a much longer general response which I just don't have time to do these days.
This is simply the way a community like Psychlinks functions. There is nothing personal or punitive about the situation.
Re: Grounding Techniques
So basically what you are saying is that I am not even capable of asking questions properly.That's really depressing to know.
I honestly thought I have been expressing myself in a way that other people could understand,I didn't know I am 'vague' or very 'general'. I guess I just don't know how to do this right.
So that means all the posting I have done since becoming a member here,all the questions I have asked,have all been a waste of time,not only for myself,but for everyone else too. I just wish someone would have told me sooner.
I'm truly sorry I have wasted everyone's time.I won't anymore.
So basically what you are saying is that I am not even capable of asking questions properly.That's really depressing to know.
I honestly thought I have been expressing myself in a way that other people could understand,I didn't know I am 'vague' or very 'general'. I guess I just don't know how to do this right.
So that means all the posting I have done since becoming a member here,all the questions I have asked,have all been a waste of time,not only for myself,but for everyone else too. I just wish someone would have told me sooner.
I'm truly sorry I have wasted everyone's time.I won't anymore.
Cat Dancer
MVP
Re: Grounding Techniques
Lost, I think, for me, your questions are deep and sometimes painful and I can't think what to say.
And I'm sorry for that. I wish I could know the right things to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing and I can't think of the right thing sometimes. Nothing you've done here is wasted. Please don't think that. That isn't what Dr. Baxter meant at all. You're being very hard on yourself.
Lost, I think, for me, your questions are deep and sometimes painful and I can't think what to say.
And I'm sorry for that. I wish I could know the right things to say. I don't want to say the wrong thing and I can't think of the right thing sometimes. Nothing you've done here is wasted. Please don't think that. That isn't what Dr. Baxter meant at all. You're being very hard on yourself.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Re: Grounding Techniques
No. That is not even close to what I said. It is a perfect example of all-or-nothing, black-and-white, categorical thinking though.
LIT, I think you need to take a few deep breaths, a few steps back, and then re-read what I posted. It was intended as proactive advice for how you might get more or better replies to your questions.
No. That is not even close to what I said. It is a perfect example of all-or-nothing, black-and-white, categorical thinking though.
LIT, I think you need to take a few deep breaths, a few steps back, and then re-read what I posted. It was intended as proactive advice for how you might get more or better replies to your questions.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
Re: Grounding Techniques
Coming back today and re-reading,I can see exactly what you mean about the all-or-nothing,black-and-white and categorical thinking.I couldn't see it yesterday though and truly believed what I was thinking was accurate.And since I believed what I was thinking it lead to other thoughts,that I also believed,and I ended up feeling suicidal.
Today though,when I read what you posted,I'm not even sure how I came up with what I did yesterday.Today all I see is you telling me better ways to get replies.
And I'm sorry!
Fridays are very rough for me and that's an example of how my mind works on those days.My head turns to jello and I can't think clearly.That's why I don't work on Friday's,I just cannot seem to function well,and I don't want to end up being fired.I'm not making excuses for my behavior,I'm just trying to explain it.
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And I don't know how to change it.
Coming back today and re-reading,I can see exactly what you mean about the all-or-nothing,black-and-white and categorical thinking.I couldn't see it yesterday though and truly believed what I was thinking was accurate.And since I believed what I was thinking it lead to other thoughts,that I also believed,and I ended up feeling suicidal.
Today though,when I read what you posted,I'm not even sure how I came up with what I did yesterday.Today all I see is you telling me better ways to get replies.
And I'm sorry!
Fridays are very rough for me and that's an example of how my mind works on those days.My head turns to jello and I can't think clearly.That's why I don't work on Friday's,I just cannot seem to function well,and I don't want to end up being fired.I'm not making excuses for my behavior,I'm just trying to explain it.
---------- Post Merged at 08:45 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:21 AM ----------
And I don't know how to change it.
David Baxter PhD
Late Founder
You might find the following helpful in challenging negative thoughts and feelings, LIT:
Introduction to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking
Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking
Daily Mood Log
Automatic Thought Records: Finding Alternatives to the Negatives
The key to CBT, as mentioned in the last link above, is not that your thinking patterns or interpretations are always necessarily distorted or wrong - just that they might be. Cognitive challenges and cognitive reframing help you to check for alternate less negative ways of perceiving and reacting to a situation.
Introduction to Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT)
The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking
Ten Ways to Untwist Your Thinking
Daily Mood Log
Automatic Thought Records: Finding Alternatives to the Negatives
The key to CBT, as mentioned in the last link above, is not that your thinking patterns or interpretations are always necessarily distorted or wrong - just that they might be. Cognitive challenges and cognitive reframing help you to check for alternate less negative ways of perceiving and reacting to a situation.
I had a flashback today at work,while I was on break,outside in my car.I didn't realize I did though,until after the fact. I was a mess and was crying when I went back inside and I wiped my tears,pulled myself together and started doing my job.I was fine after that,and I am fine now,other than feeling a little depressed.
It was a little scary though,to just completely get lost in the flashback like I did.Scary because I was so caught up in it that afterwards I wasn't even sure how long I had been sitting there until I looked at the time.And I felt so disoriented for a bit,like I had to think about where I was(work),what I was doing(taking my break),and what I needed to do next(go back inside and do my job).
I had been thinking about the upcoming holiday before it was break time.And then that made me start thinking about my family of origin.And of course that made me start feeling depressed and anxious.
Are our thoughts really that powerful? Can just thinking about something cause a flashback?
It was a little scary though,to just completely get lost in the flashback like I did.Scary because I was so caught up in it that afterwards I wasn't even sure how long I had been sitting there until I looked at the time.And I felt so disoriented for a bit,like I had to think about where I was(work),what I was doing(taking my break),and what I needed to do next(go back inside and do my job).
I had been thinking about the upcoming holiday before it was break time.And then that made me start thinking about my family of origin.And of course that made me start feeling depressed and anxious.
Are our thoughts really that powerful? Can just thinking about something cause a flashback?
forgetmenot
MVP
I don't know hn sometimes a word a sound and perhaps a thought can trigger ones mind back I am sorry you went through t hat glad you got back to work though it would help ground you to present hugs
After I posted that about the flashback at work,I started thinking maybe if I could just learn to control my thoughts I could control the flashbacks(LOL).From what I have been reading though,they can only be managed not controlled.
It would be easier if there was some kind of advanced warning or something.Or maybe there is and I just haven't figured it out yet.
It would be easier if there was some kind of advanced warning or something.Or maybe there is and I just haven't figured it out yet.
I think that I sometimes purposely expose myself to things that are triggering. But I'm not exactly sure why I do that.
Like if I am feeling down,anxious,angry, upset or whatever,and I don't like the way I am feeling,I will watch movies I know will be triggering.When I watch them,they make my heart start pounding and cause me to start shaking,and then I start having flashbacks and then nightmares.I know that I will get so caught up in all of it,and I know I will regret it later,but I do it anyway.
I am thinking that maybe I do that to change the way I am feeling(?).Or maybe because the way I feel when I have been triggered is so familiar(?).Or maybe because when I don't like the way I am feeling,it makes me feel so anxious that instead of letting it build I'm trying to peak as soon as possible in order to get it over with sooner(?).
I'm not sure why I do it. And I just realized that I do this.It's such a self-sabotaging thing to do and it doesn't even make sense. I realized what I am doing because I have been feeling down and I am really wanting to watch something that's very triggering.I have been searching for movies by using 'abuse','trauma','violence','rape','murder','shootings','hostage',etc. keywords.And it feels more like a compulsion or craving.
Why do I do this to myself? What is wrong with me?
---------- Post Merged at 11:35 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:38 AM ----------
Obviously nobody here can answer my question and tell me why I do what I do. No one here knows me personally.I know this is something I need to figure out for myself.
I do think though, sometimes I purposely trigger myself to avoid the present. I think it's a way to not deal with problems in the here and now.When I am caught up in the past there's no room for what's going on now.
Like if I am feeling down,anxious,angry, upset or whatever,and I don't like the way I am feeling,I will watch movies I know will be triggering.When I watch them,they make my heart start pounding and cause me to start shaking,and then I start having flashbacks and then nightmares.I know that I will get so caught up in all of it,and I know I will regret it later,but I do it anyway.
I am thinking that maybe I do that to change the way I am feeling(?).Or maybe because the way I feel when I have been triggered is so familiar(?).Or maybe because when I don't like the way I am feeling,it makes me feel so anxious that instead of letting it build I'm trying to peak as soon as possible in order to get it over with sooner(?).
I'm not sure why I do it. And I just realized that I do this.It's such a self-sabotaging thing to do and it doesn't even make sense. I realized what I am doing because I have been feeling down and I am really wanting to watch something that's very triggering.I have been searching for movies by using 'abuse','trauma','violence','rape','murder','shootings','hostage',etc. keywords.And it feels more like a compulsion or craving.
Why do I do this to myself? What is wrong with me?
---------- Post Merged at 11:35 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:38 AM ----------
Obviously nobody here can answer my question and tell me why I do what I do. No one here knows me personally.I know this is something I need to figure out for myself.
I do think though, sometimes I purposely trigger myself to avoid the present. I think it's a way to not deal with problems in the here and now.When I am caught up in the past there's no room for what's going on now.
LIT - I'm glad you stayed for the "party" and worked it through. I think we all end up in that mode of "I'm yelling and no one's listening to me." And, when the response we hear feels like a slight, we react negatively. There are days when I spend out of control with my husband and go off on a tangent especially when I forget to eat, don't get enough sleep, or forget my meds. You're okay and we're all in this together. Take care.
I've done it again,I have purposely triggered myself,and now I am really regretting it.
I said that I think I do this to avoid the present,but I'm not sure if that's it.I searched for a movie like I was on auto pilot or something,like I was on a mission.I watched enough of it to make myself start having flashbacks and panic and then I turned it off.I was thinking that maybe I did it so that I would feel,pretty much the same as how cutting feels,but I don't think that's it,because at first I was feeling,of course,but now I am completely numb.
Now I feel nothing.I don't know if that's what I was seeking or not,but that is the end result.I went from hyperventilating to being completely numb in a matter of minutes.
Is this my form of escape?If it is,what am I trying to escape?
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I know...it sounds crazy.I know it's crazy to do this to myself,but I don't know why I do it or how to stop doing it,that's why I am writing about it here.
---------- Post Merged at 10:09 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:58 AM ----------
And some of you may be thinking "well,stop doing that" while reading this.I wish it was that simple,but it's not.
I said that I think I do this to avoid the present,but I'm not sure if that's it.I searched for a movie like I was on auto pilot or something,like I was on a mission.I watched enough of it to make myself start having flashbacks and panic and then I turned it off.I was thinking that maybe I did it so that I would feel,pretty much the same as how cutting feels,but I don't think that's it,because at first I was feeling,of course,but now I am completely numb.
Now I feel nothing.I don't know if that's what I was seeking or not,but that is the end result.I went from hyperventilating to being completely numb in a matter of minutes.
Is this my form of escape?If it is,what am I trying to escape?
---------- Post Merged at 08:58 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:44 AM ----------
I know...it sounds crazy.I know it's crazy to do this to myself,but I don't know why I do it or how to stop doing it,that's why I am writing about it here.
---------- Post Merged at 10:09 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 08:58 AM ----------
And some of you may be thinking "well,stop doing that" while reading this.I wish it was that simple,but it's not.
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