- Thread starter SoSo
- Start date
Into The Light
MVP
hang on feisty. i am keeping my fingers crossed for you that this medication will do its job within a couple of weeks. talk to us here in the meantime to get through the time. any idea when you get to see the new counsellor?
what about the emotions anonymous group? can you still get there for real life support?
what about the emotions anonymous group? can you still get there for real life support?
SoSo
Member
My doctor wanted me back in his office today and has changed the med I am to use. He has put me on Nova Trazodone plus I have 30 Lorazepam that I can take in an emergency if I get really stressed but will try not to take those if I don't have to. The doctor also wants to see me back in 2 weeks. I don't know when I will get to go for counseling but the way things are here, could be a long wait. I still feel empty but will stick with the meds and see what happens for now. Thanks for all the support and advice. Wish I could be more positive and cheery, sorry for being so down.
Feisty:hide:
Feisty:hide:
Into The Light
MVP
i am glad your doctor wants to see you back again in two weeks. he's monitoring you and that is very important.
no need to apologize, we understand. :hug:
no need to apologize, we understand. :hug:
SoSo
Member
I had my first night on the Trazodone 50mg and perhaps it is just my imagination but I did seem calmer. I think it is my thyroid hormone replacement meds that could be causing some of my depression as they are causing my heart to go wonky and my blood pressure is 149/75. I have had my heart pounding like mad and irregular heart beats for 2 weeks now, feels like it will burst through my chest and a lot of chest pain. I made an appointment for Monday to have these meds changed. I mentioned it to my doctor on 2 different occasions but he did not listen to my heart nor take my BP. I was thinking of just taking myself off the thyroid meds, have no thyroid due to the hurthle cell cancer so without these replacement hormone meds, I would die. I am tired of trying to get the doctors to listen to me, that these meds are damaging my heart like they already did 2 years ago. The bottom of my heart no longer pumps due to these meds. I have been here since last Aug. and they have not even taken my BP, I do it myself. I just feel most days that all this struggle to get health care is not worth the effort. Just breathing hurts and just wonder most days why bother. I picked up a book, Life Strategies by Dr. Phil at a thrift store while I was waiting for the bus yesterday. It makes sense, although right now, can't put it to use but will try to read and follow this logic when and if I get stronger. The Lorazepam is 0.5mg and I can use 2 a day if needed. I still don't want to be here, still feel so very empty but will give these meds a try, nothing to lose by trying them. Thanks for all the support, don't really feel I deserve it though but thanks.
feisty:hide:
feisty:hide:
Cat Dancer
MVP
((((((feisty4me))))))))
Feisty,
If you feel you need to be re evaluated for any of your medications, then make your request known to your doctor and ask for a referral to a specialist.
I know it's difficult to get a family doctor these days, but if you feel you are not getting the service you want from your current GP, then discreetly make inquiries for a new doctor, being careful not to burn any bridges with your current doctor, just in case a new one doesn't work out.
As for your thyroid meds, it is not recommended to stop any medication without the OK of your doctor because the medication is either maintaining a certain condition, or requires special instructions for discontuation.
IAC one should never stop taking a med without consulting the doctor.
Your lorazepam (Ativan) should be used as your doctor prescribed, in the event of an acute emergency anxiety situation. Don't be afraid of it, because this is a relatively short acting medication that relieves the anxiety, but is excreted from the system in about 8 hours. It's ideal for this kind of "emergency use" .
Check with your doctor, who might even suggest taking the lorazepam under your tongue, being careful to not swallow for a about 120 seconds while holding the tablet deep under the tongue..
That way the tablet is absorbed by the soft tissue under the tongue, getting into the system a little quicker.
Lorazepam is one of the only med of its kind, the chemistry of which can be absorbed this way, and is approved for sublingual use..
When you visit your doctor, do you bring with you your blood pressure logs that you take at home?
If you feel you need to be re evaluated for any of your medications, then make your request known to your doctor and ask for a referral to a specialist.
I know it's difficult to get a family doctor these days, but if you feel you are not getting the service you want from your current GP, then discreetly make inquiries for a new doctor, being careful not to burn any bridges with your current doctor, just in case a new one doesn't work out.
As for your thyroid meds, it is not recommended to stop any medication without the OK of your doctor because the medication is either maintaining a certain condition, or requires special instructions for discontuation.
IAC one should never stop taking a med without consulting the doctor.
Your lorazepam (Ativan) should be used as your doctor prescribed, in the event of an acute emergency anxiety situation. Don't be afraid of it, because this is a relatively short acting medication that relieves the anxiety, but is excreted from the system in about 8 hours. It's ideal for this kind of "emergency use" .
Check with your doctor, who might even suggest taking the lorazepam under your tongue, being careful to not swallow for a about 120 seconds while holding the tablet deep under the tongue..
That way the tablet is absorbed by the soft tissue under the tongue, getting into the system a little quicker.
Lorazepam is one of the only med of its kind, the chemistry of which can be absorbed this way, and is approved for sublingual use..
When you visit your doctor, do you bring with you your blood pressure logs that you take at home?
braveheart
Member
You do deserve support. Very much so.
Into The Light
MVP
my heart goes out to you feisty. i wish you had someone with you to come with you to these appointments and maybe speak up on your behalf when necessary.
again, this makes me come back to the emotions anonymous group you spoke of a while back. is there anyone there that could offer you that kind of support?
again, this makes me come back to the emotions anonymous group you spoke of a while back. is there anyone there that could offer you that kind of support?
SoSo
Member
I went to the EA group today. I have only been once in the past 2 months since my father died. I was in a fog for most of the meeting. The doctor wants me on on 3 trazodone but I am having enough problems functioning on just one before 8pm. I feel calmer though, almost comatose, haven't taken any of these types of meds in 15 years so guess I have to adjust but will just stay on the one. If I stop taking my thyroid meds there is only on outcome, I die as I don't have a thyroid but they HAVE to get the darn things changed and regulated, my heart can't stand much more abuse from the ones I am on, Eltroxin. I bought the EA big book today, will try to read it, see if it sinks in the grey cell mush but right now, living for a minute at a time not a day, a minute and even that is a struggle. I can honestly say I am only here for 2 reasons still, my son and my adopted son as I know it would kill both of them if I was to quit, give up and do what I want, leave it all. I do not want to stay. I want to just be free of all this physical pain I live in 24-7 and the other cancer stuff. I am weak, just weak and worn out by life. I just know my sons would not be able to deal if I leave. My adopted son was born a crack baby with many problems due to the birth mother doing many different street drugs and he cries all the time because I moved from Ontario. My other son is ok but has problems due to seeing his father beat the daylights out of me day in day out so I am fighting the pull to leave but I really wish I did not feel guilty about my sons and leaving them. I guess I have 2 good reasons to stay but I think I have to somehow one day find reasons that I want to stay, not for someone else, for me. One good thing in the past 2 days, I slept, I finally got 2 good nights of sleep after months of being able to only get 2-5 hours a night due to ignorant neighbours, a bonus of the new meds, sleep. I am also listening to my music again to try to distract my mind, k.d. lang, Dr. Hook and Mario Lanza, what a combination! Again, thanks, sorry to be so gloomy, am trying, I think.
Feisty:hide:
Feisty:hide:
suewatters1
Member
Feisty Sleep will help you and your thyroid medication adjusted. If you can't see your DR right away got to a clinic or ER and tell them your Thyroid meds are making you feel worse.
When I feel crappy I listen to music that calms me down an even on Youtube there is some singers from British got Talent that are so good. A few weeks ago this 12 year old girl sang AVE MARIA and played it over and over it made me cry but it was a release of emotions. The singer is Faryl Smith and she sang this week the Song Angels by the Canadian singer and tonight is the finals. Inspirational songs makes me feel good and it cleanses my soul briefly. Also I love Mario Lanza what a great singer. I love his song and his movies.
I also lived for my family because they suffered enough but then I somehow manage to think their is magic out there like my astrologer says. Their a time to do work and a time to let God or the Universe take over to let the magic happen in our lives.
I feel down and moody a lot but then the astrologer says stuff like the people who give up when times are tough are going to miss out on the magic just waiting for them around the corner. Then I hang on and I see my life going slightly better and makes me realize yes I didn't give up when things got tough and I am glad I didn't.
Here is where you get the free horoscope WeeklyHoroscope.com.
So Hang on just around the corner magic is waiting for you
And We Care what happens to you
Sue
When I feel crappy I listen to music that calms me down an even on Youtube there is some singers from British got Talent that are so good. A few weeks ago this 12 year old girl sang AVE MARIA and played it over and over it made me cry but it was a release of emotions. The singer is Faryl Smith and she sang this week the Song Angels by the Canadian singer and tonight is the finals. Inspirational songs makes me feel good and it cleanses my soul briefly. Also I love Mario Lanza what a great singer. I love his song and his movies.
I also lived for my family because they suffered enough but then I somehow manage to think their is magic out there like my astrologer says. Their a time to do work and a time to let God or the Universe take over to let the magic happen in our lives.
I feel down and moody a lot but then the astrologer says stuff like the people who give up when times are tough are going to miss out on the magic just waiting for them around the corner. Then I hang on and I see my life going slightly better and makes me realize yes I didn't give up when things got tough and I am glad I didn't.
Here is where you get the free horoscope WeeklyHoroscope.com.
So Hang on just around the corner magic is waiting for you
And We Care what happens to you
Sue
Into The Light
MVP
you know, these 2 good reasons are all you need right now to pull through, even if it is other people. let them provide you with the strength you need right now, and when things start to get a bit better with the medical help and the counselling you will slowly start to find reasons for yourself again.
i am really glad you have slept well the past couple of days, sleep makes a huge difference. keep hanging on and try to find a daily positive to help you keep going.
sending you many hugs, i think this is something you probably need very much right now. :hug::hug::hug:
As has been said, these are your reasons to live which must remain your primary focus.
Get some photos of your boys, if you have not already done so, and leave them around the house, on your medicine cabinet, on the fridge, in your wallet, wherever you spend time, so they can be constant reminders of your two important reasons to live.
It sounds like you have had a difficult struggle, but there may be options available to explore to deal with the pain. Through your doctor, and perhaps some referrals to other specialists you may find some relief.
This challenge can become another reason to live, outweighing what seem, at the moment, to be reasons to die.
Lets continue the dialogue and together we may figure out options you might explore.
I may have missed your response, so forgive me for asking again...have you been able to contact the crisis center?
SoSo
Member
I went to my doctor again today to try to get him to listen to me about my BP and heart going wonky. He said he will see the results of my blood work then might change my thyroid meds. Right now, seeing my pics of family, etc just makes me very sad so I just leave them. My adopted son left home to go live with his girlfriend at 16 and nothing I did or said would stop him. Now, he cries all the time because he needs me back in his life to talk to and help him sort things out. I feel so guilty for moving from Ontario and leaving him there but he made the choice to stay. I miss both my sons a lot. My body is totally twisted up in pain the past 2 days, can barely walk and can't stand up straight right now. I hope in time I can get my body built back up. Other than giving me pain meds there is nothing can be done for my body. I have osteoporosis, osteoarthritis, osteopenia and fibromyalgia along with other health issues so just have to learn to live with it. I know there a lot of people a lot worse off than me so I feel so weak and pathetic about my dealing with my health stuff. I tried to call the crisis number 3 times, gave up after just getting a recording. Thanks for the support, advice and hugs. Oh, Steve, did you do the pic of the polar bears? I am an artist so enjoy and appreciate art. I think that is another reason why I am so very depressed. I haven't been able to do any of my art since last June and it was always a good way for me to get outside myself and also lose myself if that makes sense. Again, thanks.
Feisty:hide:
Feisty:hide:
Feisty,
I admire and am inspired by your courage, despite obvious adversities in your life. You are, indeed a very courageous person.
The polar bear mural was painted by Michigan mural artist, Wellington White. It was painted on our motorcoach in 1998, the year of Wellington's retirement.
My wife and I collected a number of polar bear photos, along with a video depicting the bears.
Using those ideas, Wellington conceived the image, of the mother, father and cub looking for lunch. Although it cannot be seen in the photo, these are some "hidden images" in the mural, along with Wellington's signature "three starbursts".
The coach was recently sold, but we still cherish the image.
I admire and am inspired by your courage, despite obvious adversities in your life. You are, indeed a very courageous person.
The polar bear mural was painted by Michigan mural artist, Wellington White. It was painted on our motorcoach in 1998, the year of Wellington's retirement.
My wife and I collected a number of polar bear photos, along with a video depicting the bears.
Using those ideas, Wellington conceived the image, of the mother, father and cub looking for lunch. Although it cannot be seen in the photo, these are some "hidden images" in the mural, along with Wellington's signature "three starbursts".
The coach was recently sold, but we still cherish the image.
Schopenhauer would agree:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schopenhauer's_aesthetics
BTW, the group therapy expert Dr. Yalom, who has extensive experience working with cancer patients, has written a few good novels, one of which, The Schopenhauer Cure, is partly about a therapist with cancer:
Author Interview with Irvin Yalom from HarperCollins Publishers
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SoSo
Member
I don't feel courageous, just feel like a real loser. I got myself into a real mess by moving to Nova Scotia and now I will lose everything just to get back to Ontario. All I get told all the time by my mother is what a mess I have made of my entire life. Until my father died 2 months ago he would yell at me about what a loser I was. The fact that I got away from an alcoholic husband who beat me senseless all the time, worked 2-3 jobs so I could support my kids, went to school nights to get my high school then onto a business college to get my degree was nothing to my parents. I only was told what an embarrassment I was to them. I don't know what right a mother who beat her daughters every day and even tried to kill me more than once has a right to be so critical of me. Then, the father who molested me right up until I was 15, what right do either of them have. I tried twice to just quit, kill myself because of them, couldn't take the abuse anymore and once when my ex was beating me around and he beat a baby out of me, I tried then also. Right now I am away from the abuse but also away from my friends and family that supported me and also away from proper health care. I don't know if this is why I feel so empty, so alone and hopeless but for now, am still here. I wish I was courageous, wish I could just make me smarten up and stop feeling like this but I can't seem to right now. I am having trouble focusing on much right now, started this, then totally zone out, half an hour later I realize I have been sitting here just staring at the screen for half an hour, don't like it much. I lose chunks out of my day that way, just go blank for long periods of time now. I don't know why. My parents were right, I have made such a mess of my life but not intentionally, doesn't matter, if I make it through this dark time then maybe I will be able to start over, start fresh but right now just trying to make it from one minute to the next. Thanks for the links, checked them out. Seeing the pic of the polar bears sort of helped me, think I may try to paint again this week, it may help get my mind focused on something other than just quitting.
Feisty:hide:
Feisty:hide:
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