Hi, I'm just writing here for any input. I'm a 23 year old guy and I've never kissed a girl. For some reason, getting close to women frightens me, even though I am 100% heterosexual. I went on only one date in my life, about three years ago, and nothing happened. I just can't even register any affection or feelings of any of that kind. There's always this voice in my head (I don't hear it, it's just a conscience or something) telling me how idiotic I am and stuff, and how the girls think I'm a perverted weirdo, etc.
So a lot of times, I act really weird, like I'm a cartoon character. I can act in a very nervous, almost hostile manner towards people, but I never threaten or intentionally hurt anyone. Around people, I can't act natural. I have to be very concise with what I say and am very quiet. If I'm around girls this is especially true, as I feel sort of ashamed of myself for being male...it might be because of pornography. Whenever I try to get a girl, I always have backed away right when they wanted to get closer. It always boils down to being afraid of my parents' reactions to anything like this (I never mention anything to them about relationships). I'm also afraid that having a girlfriend would take time out of my work, as this is important to me. I need a job, so I'm working constantly to get a job from home. I'm alone at the computer about 80% of my life, and sometimes I'm depressed but I also am very uncomfortable around people and like avoiding social situations.
On the whole, my life is pretty good as I live in a decent neighborhood, have the money and stuff I need...just no life whatsoever. When I was young, I never had to work or do anything. My mother was very very controlling with me and this might be something. Also, I was born with one testicle which has made me angry my whole life. There were times when I could have gotten an easy woman, but I was afraid of her finding out about this and getting teased, and also that I would be controlled by her. High school was difficult because I'm so short and naturally unathletic. So I've done nothing with anyone...somehow I don't really care that much, so I've decided that I must have Asperger's syndrome.
Anyway, that's just some stuff about me...whatever you want to say, I'm glad to hear it!
So a lot of times, I act really weird, like I'm a cartoon character. I can act in a very nervous, almost hostile manner towards people, but I never threaten or intentionally hurt anyone. Around people, I can't act natural. I have to be very concise with what I say and am very quiet. If I'm around girls this is especially true, as I feel sort of ashamed of myself for being male...it might be because of pornography. Whenever I try to get a girl, I always have backed away right when they wanted to get closer. It always boils down to being afraid of my parents' reactions to anything like this (I never mention anything to them about relationships). I'm also afraid that having a girlfriend would take time out of my work, as this is important to me. I need a job, so I'm working constantly to get a job from home. I'm alone at the computer about 80% of my life, and sometimes I'm depressed but I also am very uncomfortable around people and like avoiding social situations.
On the whole, my life is pretty good as I live in a decent neighborhood, have the money and stuff I need...just no life whatsoever. When I was young, I never had to work or do anything. My mother was very very controlling with me and this might be something. Also, I was born with one testicle which has made me angry my whole life. There were times when I could have gotten an easy woman, but I was afraid of her finding out about this and getting teased, and also that I would be controlled by her. High school was difficult because I'm so short and naturally unathletic. So I've done nothing with anyone...somehow I don't really care that much, so I've decided that I must have Asperger's syndrome.
Anyway, that's just some stuff about me...whatever you want to say, I'm glad to hear it!
