More threads by Michelle M

Hello, my name is Michelle and l joined this site because after being misdiagnosed and unessilarily being medicated for years, l fought to find a Dr. l could talk to and have Trust in her. l have anxiety/panic attacks and Dysthemia from PTSD because of trauma in childhood and as an adult.
After being taken off all uneeded medication, l am now clearheaded and can function normally.
The problems are l lost a daughter at Christmas 20 yrs. ago and having no support from my Dr. in the past and being estranged from my children and grandchildren, going on 4 yrs. now because my Ex husband badmouthed me and told them things that were not true and unfortunately, they believed him and when they were younger, they were my life and my heart was so full of love for them and l am so heart broken that l have no contact with my son or daughter and it gets me feeling so down and alone that it physically hurts . l was never told about my grandchildren until l saw my daughter very pregnant on Facebook and l was so shocked, l was panicking and asking my friend what to do as my mind was just racing...l am alone where l live and l am isolated, so l thought to join and help myself to learn to cope. All the best to Everyone on here!

David Baxter PhD

Late Founder
Welcome back, Michelle.

I'm sorry to hear about your children and grandchildren. What you describe is known as parental alienation syndrome and it is always a sad thing to hear about.

I believe we have some information about it available on this forum... I'll check.
Hi Michelle nice to meet you. I too am sorry that you are not able to have contact with your children how sad for you and them. Hope you continue to reach out for support here and in real life.
l thank you David for all the links and l will use them for sure...Thank you to everyone else for your posts to me and l do have my Mother's support. My children are doing the same thing to my Mother and she is very hurt and angry because she used to take them for visits to her home and took them out to dinner, Harlem Globetrotters, fun events etc. and it was in her pool, that l taught both of them to swim when they were very young.
For myself, when my youngest daughter died, it was a mistake made by the Dr. and l was involved in The College and Physicians and a lawsuit against the Hospital and l did that all on my own as my Ex was busy and never had time, but only in the past few years, l found closure in regards to my baby's death with Therapy.
ln regards to my two children, l know they are alive, healthy and happy and what hurts my heart the most is the fact they just treated me horribly and l allowed it hoping they would express themselves but when l have been treated like l never existed or l am some kind of monster is what hurts so badly and l will never get to meet my grandson and for my Mom, it is her great grandchild that she will never meet.
l just cannot understand why they cannot remember all the memories we made together and saw what my Ex was saying was all garbage. l just don't understand how it got so bad to get to this point.
It is hard when they are being brainwashed by their father so hard. He is doing the such harm I wish there was a way legally you could have time with them and perhaps seperation from their father have them on your own so they can remember once again the good times. You are not a monster it is their father that is a monster for turning them against you.
Hello, l don't know how to send "private messages", so l am sorry. l am on Facebook and my Children have my Mom:s email address and Phone number if my Children want to contact me. Also, they are adults who see their Father and they have a way to find out where l am. l did move but l am about 15 min. away from where l used to live. Being that said, l was known in the last town and this new one as l have alot of social friends and l am the only ltalian so l stand out because of that. Being said, l do appreciate all of your kind words and some very good advice!


MVP, Forum Supporter
Welcome to the forum, Michelle. I was so sorry to hear the pain you are dealing with. Losing relationships with loved ones this way is one of the most painful things imaginable.

Sending compassion and care to you.

Hold out a little hope if you can, because with time things could change.

Keep in mind the possibility again of gaining the support and guidance of a therapist again, if you feel it could be a helpful support and guidance again with the situation you now have. And we hope we can continue offering support here too.
l had Therapy for six yrs and all of my life was discussed and it got to the point where my thoughts and actions were changed from being a "victim, to being empowered" and the Therapist told me l had done so well, l was free to fly like a bird. He was very happy and gave me homework to do during Therapy. l still read those many pages the Therapist for my anxiety and panic attacks.
l dealt with my child's death after 17 yrs, because l had never been offered Therapy when she died, so l had never known how to find closure.
He also said that l had to find closure to the current situation with my children and how they treated and talked to me and it was my decision to stop allowing that behaviour l was getting from my kids and their spouses. l am now able to speak up when l feel anyone starts being abusive and l feel so strong now emotionally.
However, that does not take away from the pain or loss of being part of my life and the sadness or guilt l feel for how life has taken this turn....l miss not being part of my grandchildren's life, loving and spoiling them and watching them grow.
Sometimes, l feel such huge emotion and want to email my children but l know the silence that follows , so for my own emotional health l stopped. Being shunned is so hard on me, when we had been so close when they were young...l came to this site because l knew my soul would find comfort here..
I am sorry for the pain and sadness you are having to endure i do understand it hurts to be shut off from the ones you love. I am glad you are reaching out here for comfort and support and i hope you continue to do so. As said sometimes time can change things and when your grandchildren get older they may reach out to you hugs to you


MVP, Forum Supporter
Welcome to the forum Michelle:)
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