When I was younger, and throughout the first years of elementary school, I was a very loved kid. I was the most popular in my school, but then people started to get away from me. I moved to Miami about a year ago and I've had some time to think and just realized that maybe I had some sort of problem. I am 19 years old, the youngest of my family. Most people would say I look 5 years younger. I have enuresis; altough it has considerably decreased in the last year, it still happens once in a while. (like once every 4 or 5 months) My heigh is 5'5, it does bother me a lot, I am the shortest member of my family and I also was the second shortest in High School, I think I havent grown in a long time. At age thirteen, my face got covered with acne. It was really bad so at fourteen, my dermathologist prescribed Roaccutan, a very effective but dangerous medication. I am worried that it could affected my growth, I have read some rumors that it could have triggered a premature closing of growth plates. All my family had taken it but at older ages, some of them even took it twice. Acne runs in our genes. I was my doctor's youngest pacient using that medication. Those years were hard for me, but around age fifteen my face cleared out.
My father is diabetic. I have seen him faint several times when his blood sugar gets low. I always worry about him. I think this may have also affected my personality. Moreover, he tends to avoid talking about my problems, I know he loves me very much but I think thats his only flaw. My mother is of the sensitive kind, I dont like to speak with her about me because she starts crying as soon as I start. Until last year when I moved to Miami from Mexico City, I had been extremely protected by my parents. We were in a good economic situation and Mexico isnt very safe, so I was always accompained by a bodyguard. In my house, we had four housekeepers, so basically, I didnt have to move a finger. But I never became conceited. I had some friends, but I've been feeling alone for quite a long time. And now that I live in Miami, its harder to see them. I've become a very shy and introverted person, the thing is, that I want good things to happen but I often find myslef sabotaging myself. I went to see a psychologist once, but then, I wasnt really aware of what I am describing here, so we just spoke about some traumas I had recently passed, in one where I thought my brother was dead after an epileptic attack inside a mid-flight plane and another one where before anything happened (thanks g-d), I found a suicide letter written by a loved one. She really cured the frequent anxiety that arose in me when I remembered those situations.
I've had a few oportunities to meet girls who seem interested in me, but my lack of self confidence and nervousness make me stutter or speak in a way that sends them the wrong message. I never get the courage to speak to a stranger, so the few people I know from College have either been introduced to me, or I've met them in class, but I never say the first word. After everything, I think I am fine. I've learned to stand up in difficult situations and I have a stable mind, but I can only live once and I am really trying to change this about myself.
Please give me some advice.
My father is diabetic. I have seen him faint several times when his blood sugar gets low. I always worry about him. I think this may have also affected my personality. Moreover, he tends to avoid talking about my problems, I know he loves me very much but I think thats his only flaw. My mother is of the sensitive kind, I dont like to speak with her about me because she starts crying as soon as I start. Until last year when I moved to Miami from Mexico City, I had been extremely protected by my parents. We were in a good economic situation and Mexico isnt very safe, so I was always accompained by a bodyguard. In my house, we had four housekeepers, so basically, I didnt have to move a finger. But I never became conceited. I had some friends, but I've been feeling alone for quite a long time. And now that I live in Miami, its harder to see them. I've become a very shy and introverted person, the thing is, that I want good things to happen but I often find myslef sabotaging myself. I went to see a psychologist once, but then, I wasnt really aware of what I am describing here, so we just spoke about some traumas I had recently passed, in one where I thought my brother was dead after an epileptic attack inside a mid-flight plane and another one where before anything happened (thanks g-d), I found a suicide letter written by a loved one. She really cured the frequent anxiety that arose in me when I remembered those situations.
I've had a few oportunities to meet girls who seem interested in me, but my lack of self confidence and nervousness make me stutter or speak in a way that sends them the wrong message. I never get the courage to speak to a stranger, so the few people I know from College have either been introduced to me, or I've met them in class, but I never say the first word. After everything, I think I am fine. I've learned to stand up in difficult situations and I have a stable mind, but I can only live once and I am really trying to change this about myself.
Please give me some advice.
)